fucking stupid life
i hate my life. its so utterly boring. according to my horoscopes, it should be looking up a little bit here soon. or atleast i shouldnt be so depressed over jake anymore. fuck boys. they arent worth crying over. but i wish i believed that. i wish i was okay, i wish i didnt love him, i wish i wasnt depressed and sleeping all the time. fuck it. im tired. im tired of so many things, love being number one right now. fuck a lot of things. im fucking tired of it. fuck fuck fuck fuck. i really dont like a lot of people right now. jake and joey both need to suck it the fuck up and realize that they wont ever find love more powerful than what lauren and i have to offer to the two of them. i hope the realize it one day, and i hope that when they do, she and i are happy, and dont want them. joey is such an ass to her, and shes done nothing but love him unconditionally. hemmoroids honey, hemmoroids :) . As for jake, i love him, and i wish with all my heart that he would wake up and see what hes missing. but i cant make him. and he isnt doing it right now on his own, so....whatever. life goes on. or doesnt. it doesnt matter a whole lot. school is starting back up soon. i dont want it to, but if i go, then my last 3 years will go by fast, or so i hope. but i fear that this year will go by at mock speed, and the next 2 will go by slowly, because i wont have jake here to make life worth living. infact, after this year, i'll have like...2 friends still in school. oh well. i can always make friends that are younger. thats not always a bad thing. whatever. fuck it. im hungry, and the 2 people i'm talking to in IMs arent saying anything...literally, nothing..so..fuck it.