(no subject)
It's funny how one disappointment can set off a whole series of bad feelings. an hour ago I was all set to go to greece. now, i'm depressed about life in general. i was going to go to greece for fuck's sake. i had it all planned out. i mean i mentioned it to my mother at least three times. each time she fucking blew me off with her dumb ass sarcasm. i was so pissed. i found the exact program i wanted. i was going to stay in a hotel with one of my friends and teach english to young greek children. maybe even explore greek nightlife. meet a dark haired stranger. it was going to to be fucking great. and then all of a sudden, nothing. now i have to stay with relatives out in the middle of fucking nowhere. i might as well just go on the europe trip with doug. at least he's fun to travel with. and i would get to go back to paris. and london for the first time. whatever. we'll see what my relatives can come up with.
but now i'm depressed. i don't want to go on a senior project. i don't want to apply to colleges. i don't want to take pointless standardized tests. i don't want to live with 60 other girls. i don't want to go back to a school where i feel like there's no one left to hang out with minus a select group of people. ugh.
speaking of my friends... do i even have any? where is everyone? i feel so isolated. i don't know. rejected? i guess. i mean at the end of last year, i felt like a regular social butterfly. i had tons of friends. seniors. juniors. sophomores. even a few tolerable freshman. and i had a boy. that i really liked. where did he go? where did they all go? i haven't talked to any of my seniors friends except andrew kraus and a few others. fuck it. i'm lonely.
i'm wallowing so much in my own self-pity that my fingers are pruny. i need to get over myself. i need someone to pull me out of this slump. i think jon stewart will do for now.
my cousin vinny
Vinny Gambini: What about these pants I got on? You think they're okay?
Mona Lisa Vito: Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing around. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water - BAM. A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head. Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I aks you, do you give a fuck what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch who shot you was wearing?
but now i'm depressed. i don't want to go on a senior project. i don't want to apply to colleges. i don't want to take pointless standardized tests. i don't want to live with 60 other girls. i don't want to go back to a school where i feel like there's no one left to hang out with minus a select group of people. ugh.
speaking of my friends... do i even have any? where is everyone? i feel so isolated. i don't know. rejected? i guess. i mean at the end of last year, i felt like a regular social butterfly. i had tons of friends. seniors. juniors. sophomores. even a few tolerable freshman. and i had a boy. that i really liked. where did he go? where did they all go? i haven't talked to any of my seniors friends except andrew kraus and a few others. fuck it. i'm lonely.
i'm wallowing so much in my own self-pity that my fingers are pruny. i need to get over myself. i need someone to pull me out of this slump. i think jon stewart will do for now.
my cousin vinny
Vinny Gambini: What about these pants I got on? You think they're okay?
Mona Lisa Vito: Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing around. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water - BAM. A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head. Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I aks you, do you give a fuck what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch who shot you was wearing?