Pure Narcissism
This is a hat tip to someone on my blogroll whom most of you can't see.
In other words, a litany of horribly boring introspection, 100 things I think (some of) you didn't know about me.
1. I start my morning with a pint of juice and the net.
2. I appear to have a long circadian rhythm, and it took years to convince my mum of that.
3. That was necessary since she kept guilt-tripping me for not getting up earlier in the mornings.
4. Well, tried to, because I don't guilt trip. For anyone. It's a matter of principle.
5. I eat too much ready-made food. So shoot me. It's cheap and fast. Cooking for one person sucks anyway.
6. I am a relatively competent cook though. I especially make mean chocolate cakes. And I mean "mean" as the kind that will not only come after you and haunt you in your dreams, they'll hide your home keys, give pests to your potted plants and make your washing machine go ape shit on your socks. All this while being so fabulously delicious that you just can't be angry at them and knowing it.
7. I often get acid reflux. A matter completely unrelated to #6.
8. I'm behind on my balcony gardening schedule this year. It's already february and I've been too busy and stressed to even think about it.
9. I only like tomatoes if they've been grown by me or by my mum and are fresh off the stalk.
10. I have traffic sign magnets on my fridge. And ladybugs on my freezer.
11. I like card decks and I like playing cards. I just don't have anyone to play with. (No, not THAT way you perv.)
12. I would never enter a relationship with a man if the sex wasn't very good with him.
13. Yes, I do test-drive men. I view inspecting the goods and their functions as a sensible precaution.
14. I'm relatively sure some people consider me a slut for that but quite frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
15. I own two kimonos (1 woollen, 1 silk), one furisode (formal, festive kimono with long sleeves), three obis (the belt, 2 hanhaba and one nagoya), two haoris (coats, 1 silk, 1 synthetic) one proper (men's) juban (underkimono) and one improvised juban, a petticoat of sorts for a kimono, a set of tabis, and a host of paraphernalia needed in dressing in kimonos.
16. And I still don't have everything I need for it.
17. In addition to my mean streak (more like a highway) I have a luddite streak.
18. I'd rather go deaf than blind, if I had to choose.
19. I like computer games but haven't played any in ages.
20. My friends wish for my downfall. This I know by the fact that they're trying to get me hooked on HOMM.
21. I did absolutely nothing memorable when I was 21. I think. As far as I can recall.
22. I did throw a big party for the 30th though. Made a huge cake and went as all femme and charming and pretty.
23. And a couple months after that I did halloween in what was effectively drag.
24. I sometimes feel that it may not be appropriate for someone who's "straight as hell" to be in what amounts to drag.
25. And then I remind myself that I don't give a flying bat's arse about what's appropriate. Most of the time.
26. I find it very hard not to laugh when I'm at funerals.
27. I dream in vivid technicolour and like to interpret my dreams.
28. My favourite dreams are the kind where I experience something as if it were real, these dreams stand out clearly from the normal flotsam from the subconscious. Sometimes it's great, sometimes scary as hell.
29. Therefore I know what it would be like to fly (great) and what it would be like to wake up with the last three months having disappeared due to amnesia (scary as hell).
30. I remember very little from my childhood and can't understand how people can write autobiographies that detail things from their early years.
31. My normal glass is a pint.
32. I love dictionaries.
33. I'm only done a third of this and I'm getting bored.
34. My stress levels and the duration of that stress can be directly ascertained from how messy my flat is.
35. I started out as politically moderate, rather centrist. The older I get and the more I learn from the world the more radical and die-hard liberal I become.
36. The said world being well on it's way to a hell in a hand basket. If we're lucky, a worldwide oil crisis hits and knocks the big economies down before they can do REALLY permanent and catastrophic damage.
37. Occasionally I even think that perhaps I should get my tubes tied while I still can. While there's still modern western medicine around! (Would be horrible having to give up sex if modern bc suddenly became unavailable.)
38. That end of the world stuff doesn't really scare me though. I have contingency plans for pretty much every scenario.
39. What really does scare me shitless though, is the thought of falling in love. Now THAT's downright embarrassingly unoriginal if anything.
40. I'm a sucker for temptation. I find it very hard to deny myself anything.
41. I've never filed a tax return in my life.
42. For a long time as a kid I thought of my mum as being 42 years old, since that was the age I got from her once when I asked. I mean, when you're a kid, mothers don't age, do they.
43. I don't really care for photographs of other people. I especially find the look-at-me-I've-been-to-X- type of holiday photos boring.
44. I prefer to write about things rather than taking pictures. It records all the meaningful little details much better than a picture that just indiscriminately repeats the scene.
45. That's also why I like travelling alone. It's much harder to find time to write a travel journal when you have to socialise with someone.
46. I don't write my journal often enough.
47. I view almost nothing about history as inevitabilites. Rather I see it as a series of coincidences, accidents and flukes, governed by chance. That the world is as it is now is in my opinion a no more likely thing than any particular hand at any particular point in a card game.
48. A hot shower wakes me up the best in the morning. Yes. I'm a freak.
49. Nobody gets to leave a permanent mark in this world. Sooner or later EVERYONE is forgotten. The overwhelming majority of humankind within a generation, after which they are just names on papers or tombmarks. When I realised this, most of my ambition and desire to do something to be remembered from vanished in it's own futility.
50. I therefore think the Vanitas paintings had a very good point, though they needlessly muddled it with christian morality finger-wagging.
51. I have something resembling a scar somewhere on my back, where I can't really see it well even through a mirror. I have no idea where it came from, other than a faint recollection of being told it was a birth mark.
52. I seem to have started a new habit, one of wearing weird clothes to exams. The latest choice, orange minidress with herringbone fishnets and high-heeled fake leather boots.
53. There's a dog living downstairs from me that cries when left alone. I won't complain though, since it usually stops quite soon.
54. I like postcards and I own more than I have time to send.
55. I use fabric handkerchief instead of paper tissues.
56. My theory for pairless socks is not that my washing machine eats them, but rather that it randomly shrinks a sock every now and then. Effectively turning a matching pair into two odd socks.
57. I also am convinced that there was a time warp somewhere on the market square in the town I live in. It seems to have been mended now though.
58. I'm phobic of two things, physical pain and commitment. I also seem to be slightly hypocondric as I'm rather paranoid about my health.
59. And I think it -while not entirely a good thing- has kept me out of harms way on numerous occasions.
60. I prefer home-made pizza to a pizzeria-made one.
61. I have promised myself never to diet in order to lose weight.
62. I only check my mailbox twice or thrice a week.
63. That's because I practically never get any mail that's worth my while.
64. I own a book of quotations titled "Sex, the Most Fun You Can Have Without Laughing". This I believe to be erroneous. Sex and laughing are most certainly not mutually exclusive activities.
65. As a child, I used to enjoy going to bed, since I found sleeping pleasurable and dreams fun.
66. Every man who expects trimmed/shaved pubic hair from his partner, should trim/shave his own pubes as well.
67. I'm not particularly enthusiastic about salads. I'll eat them and enjoy them but for the life of me I'll never understand how anyone could treat a salad as a meal.
68. I think Stephen Fry used to be rather handsome when he was young.
69. I buy more books than I read, AND I feel guilty about it. About the not reading bit that is, not the buying.
70. I generally fail to feel guilty about buying things.
71. I believe that money spent on books or food is never wasted.
72. I think this list has way too many sentences beginning with an "I" in it. Bad form.
73. I tend to assume that things I know or can do are not in any way unusual and am therefore often genuinely surprised to find others don't share that knowledge or those capabilities. But people seem to often misinterpret that reaction as being condescending.
74. I like swimming in a bikini since there's more skin exposed to water that way, but I don't entirely trust that the thing will actually stay on.
75. My throat used to be sore almost all the time when I was a kid.
76. I know how to mend fishnet tights.
77. I have a serious distrust and dislike of etiquette rules.
78. I have been to Norway twice and would like to go again.
79. I don't believe in love on first sight. Attraction on first sight, yes. Love, hell no.
80. I used to think I liked country music. Then I spent 11 months in Arkansas and learned to know better.
81. I would love to do a Rorschach inkblot test, but only if the scores were revealed to me afterwards. Though upon reading on it, I do feel it a bit silly to have the same exact inkblots for everyone and assuming that certain reactions mean certain fixed things about the person.
82. That's also my main problem with psychoanalysis, it traditionally seems to assume certain symbols to be the same for everyone. Which doesn't really make sense considering that each individual is a unique combination of history and personality traits.
83. I think aloud a lot when I'm alone.
84. I dislike being asked my favourite almost anything, since in most cases I like more than one things, each for different reasons.
85. An honest person I am not. And now you can try and figure out if this statement was honest or not.
86. But regardless, whoever you are, the chances are that I have -while not exactly lied- misrepresented the truth to you at some point or another.
87. I don't like wearing reflectors, since I dislike being any more visible than I have to be.
88. I'm too chicken to cut my own hair.
89. I like eating raw potato. And I don't care what anyone says about that.
90. I've made my own toothpaste and will do so again when I get around to it.
91. Things in my fridge sometimes reach new stages of evolution.
92. If the weather's warm and I don't need to stay dry, I enjoy cycling in the rain.
93. Even though the whole love-thing scares the hell out of me (really, it's not an exaggeration), I think I might be persuaded to give it a try.
94. Greasy food often makes me cough afterwards.
95. And spicy food makes me sweat.
96. My ice skates are a men's model.
97. Despite of being in linguistics, I hate grammar and having to learn it.
98. Every now and then I make things just to show myself that I can. Like the time I made the dough for croissants/danish pastries from scratch.
99. The nails on my little toes have been clipped so short that they almost are not there anymore.
100. Whoever you are, there are things I will never tell you. But I'm sure you guessed that on your own.
In other words, a litany of horribly boring introspection, 100 things I think (some of) you didn't know about me.
1. I start my morning with a pint of juice and the net.
2. I appear to have a long circadian rhythm, and it took years to convince my mum of that.
3. That was necessary since she kept guilt-tripping me for not getting up earlier in the mornings.
4. Well, tried to, because I don't guilt trip. For anyone. It's a matter of principle.
5. I eat too much ready-made food. So shoot me. It's cheap and fast. Cooking for one person sucks anyway.
6. I am a relatively competent cook though. I especially make mean chocolate cakes. And I mean "mean" as the kind that will not only come after you and haunt you in your dreams, they'll hide your home keys, give pests to your potted plants and make your washing machine go ape shit on your socks. All this while being so fabulously delicious that you just can't be angry at them and knowing it.
7. I often get acid reflux. A matter completely unrelated to #6.
8. I'm behind on my balcony gardening schedule this year. It's already february and I've been too busy and stressed to even think about it.
9. I only like tomatoes if they've been grown by me or by my mum and are fresh off the stalk.
10. I have traffic sign magnets on my fridge. And ladybugs on my freezer.
11. I like card decks and I like playing cards. I just don't have anyone to play with. (No, not THAT way you perv.)
12. I would never enter a relationship with a man if the sex wasn't very good with him.
13. Yes, I do test-drive men. I view inspecting the goods and their functions as a sensible precaution.
14. I'm relatively sure some people consider me a slut for that but quite frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
15. I own two kimonos (1 woollen, 1 silk), one furisode (formal, festive kimono with long sleeves), three obis (the belt, 2 hanhaba and one nagoya), two haoris (coats, 1 silk, 1 synthetic) one proper (men's) juban (underkimono) and one improvised juban, a petticoat of sorts for a kimono, a set of tabis, and a host of paraphernalia needed in dressing in kimonos.
16. And I still don't have everything I need for it.
17. In addition to my mean streak (more like a highway) I have a luddite streak.
18. I'd rather go deaf than blind, if I had to choose.
19. I like computer games but haven't played any in ages.
20. My friends wish for my downfall. This I know by the fact that they're trying to get me hooked on HOMM.
21. I did absolutely nothing memorable when I was 21. I think. As far as I can recall.
22. I did throw a big party for the 30th though. Made a huge cake and went as all femme and charming and pretty.
23. And a couple months after that I did halloween in what was effectively drag.
24. I sometimes feel that it may not be appropriate for someone who's "straight as hell" to be in what amounts to drag.
25. And then I remind myself that I don't give a flying bat's arse about what's appropriate. Most of the time.
26. I find it very hard not to laugh when I'm at funerals.
27. I dream in vivid technicolour and like to interpret my dreams.
28. My favourite dreams are the kind where I experience something as if it were real, these dreams stand out clearly from the normal flotsam from the subconscious. Sometimes it's great, sometimes scary as hell.
29. Therefore I know what it would be like to fly (great) and what it would be like to wake up with the last three months having disappeared due to amnesia (scary as hell).
30. I remember very little from my childhood and can't understand how people can write autobiographies that detail things from their early years.
31. My normal glass is a pint.
32. I love dictionaries.
33. I'm only done a third of this and I'm getting bored.
34. My stress levels and the duration of that stress can be directly ascertained from how messy my flat is.
35. I started out as politically moderate, rather centrist. The older I get and the more I learn from the world the more radical and die-hard liberal I become.
36. The said world being well on it's way to a hell in a hand basket. If we're lucky, a worldwide oil crisis hits and knocks the big economies down before they can do REALLY permanent and catastrophic damage.
37. Occasionally I even think that perhaps I should get my tubes tied while I still can. While there's still modern western medicine around! (Would be horrible having to give up sex if modern bc suddenly became unavailable.)
38. That end of the world stuff doesn't really scare me though. I have contingency plans for pretty much every scenario.
39. What really does scare me shitless though, is the thought of falling in love. Now THAT's downright embarrassingly unoriginal if anything.
40. I'm a sucker for temptation. I find it very hard to deny myself anything.
41. I've never filed a tax return in my life.
42. For a long time as a kid I thought of my mum as being 42 years old, since that was the age I got from her once when I asked. I mean, when you're a kid, mothers don't age, do they.
43. I don't really care for photographs of other people. I especially find the look-at-me-I've-been-to-X- type of holiday photos boring.
44. I prefer to write about things rather than taking pictures. It records all the meaningful little details much better than a picture that just indiscriminately repeats the scene.
45. That's also why I like travelling alone. It's much harder to find time to write a travel journal when you have to socialise with someone.
46. I don't write my journal often enough.
47. I view almost nothing about history as inevitabilites. Rather I see it as a series of coincidences, accidents and flukes, governed by chance. That the world is as it is now is in my opinion a no more likely thing than any particular hand at any particular point in a card game.
48. A hot shower wakes me up the best in the morning. Yes. I'm a freak.
49. Nobody gets to leave a permanent mark in this world. Sooner or later EVERYONE is forgotten. The overwhelming majority of humankind within a generation, after which they are just names on papers or tombmarks. When I realised this, most of my ambition and desire to do something to be remembered from vanished in it's own futility.
50. I therefore think the Vanitas paintings had a very good point, though they needlessly muddled it with christian morality finger-wagging.
51. I have something resembling a scar somewhere on my back, where I can't really see it well even through a mirror. I have no idea where it came from, other than a faint recollection of being told it was a birth mark.
52. I seem to have started a new habit, one of wearing weird clothes to exams. The latest choice, orange minidress with herringbone fishnets and high-heeled fake leather boots.
53. There's a dog living downstairs from me that cries when left alone. I won't complain though, since it usually stops quite soon.
54. I like postcards and I own more than I have time to send.
55. I use fabric handkerchief instead of paper tissues.
56. My theory for pairless socks is not that my washing machine eats them, but rather that it randomly shrinks a sock every now and then. Effectively turning a matching pair into two odd socks.
57. I also am convinced that there was a time warp somewhere on the market square in the town I live in. It seems to have been mended now though.
58. I'm phobic of two things, physical pain and commitment. I also seem to be slightly hypocondric as I'm rather paranoid about my health.
59. And I think it -while not entirely a good thing- has kept me out of harms way on numerous occasions.
60. I prefer home-made pizza to a pizzeria-made one.
61. I have promised myself never to diet in order to lose weight.
62. I only check my mailbox twice or thrice a week.
63. That's because I practically never get any mail that's worth my while.
64. I own a book of quotations titled "Sex, the Most Fun You Can Have Without Laughing". This I believe to be erroneous. Sex and laughing are most certainly not mutually exclusive activities.
65. As a child, I used to enjoy going to bed, since I found sleeping pleasurable and dreams fun.
66. Every man who expects trimmed/shaved pubic hair from his partner, should trim/shave his own pubes as well.
67. I'm not particularly enthusiastic about salads. I'll eat them and enjoy them but for the life of me I'll never understand how anyone could treat a salad as a meal.
68. I think Stephen Fry used to be rather handsome when he was young.
69. I buy more books than I read, AND I feel guilty about it. About the not reading bit that is, not the buying.
70. I generally fail to feel guilty about buying things.
71. I believe that money spent on books or food is never wasted.
72. I think this list has way too many sentences beginning with an "I" in it. Bad form.
73. I tend to assume that things I know or can do are not in any way unusual and am therefore often genuinely surprised to find others don't share that knowledge or those capabilities. But people seem to often misinterpret that reaction as being condescending.
74. I like swimming in a bikini since there's more skin exposed to water that way, but I don't entirely trust that the thing will actually stay on.
75. My throat used to be sore almost all the time when I was a kid.
76. I know how to mend fishnet tights.
77. I have a serious distrust and dislike of etiquette rules.
78. I have been to Norway twice and would like to go again.
79. I don't believe in love on first sight. Attraction on first sight, yes. Love, hell no.
80. I used to think I liked country music. Then I spent 11 months in Arkansas and learned to know better.
81. I would love to do a Rorschach inkblot test, but only if the scores were revealed to me afterwards. Though upon reading on it, I do feel it a bit silly to have the same exact inkblots for everyone and assuming that certain reactions mean certain fixed things about the person.
82. That's also my main problem with psychoanalysis, it traditionally seems to assume certain symbols to be the same for everyone. Which doesn't really make sense considering that each individual is a unique combination of history and personality traits.
83. I think aloud a lot when I'm alone.
84. I dislike being asked my favourite almost anything, since in most cases I like more than one things, each for different reasons.
85. An honest person I am not. And now you can try and figure out if this statement was honest or not.
86. But regardless, whoever you are, the chances are that I have -while not exactly lied- misrepresented the truth to you at some point or another.
87. I don't like wearing reflectors, since I dislike being any more visible than I have to be.
88. I'm too chicken to cut my own hair.
89. I like eating raw potato. And I don't care what anyone says about that.
90. I've made my own toothpaste and will do so again when I get around to it.
91. Things in my fridge sometimes reach new stages of evolution.
92. If the weather's warm and I don't need to stay dry, I enjoy cycling in the rain.
93. Even though the whole love-thing scares the hell out of me (really, it's not an exaggeration), I think I might be persuaded to give it a try.
94. Greasy food often makes me cough afterwards.
95. And spicy food makes me sweat.
96. My ice skates are a men's model.
97. Despite of being in linguistics, I hate grammar and having to learn it.
98. Every now and then I make things just to show myself that I can. Like the time I made the dough for croissants/danish pastries from scratch.
99. The nails on my little toes have been clipped so short that they almost are not there anymore.
100. Whoever you are, there are things I will never tell you. But I'm sure you guessed that on your own.