Real Person Fic - CW: As Boundless As the Sea [Part 4/4]
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PART FOUR
"I think you should probably slow down there."
"I'm drinking for two," Jared reminds Misha before attempting to take another sip from the bottle clutched in his fist.
Misha reaches out and stops him, pushing the whiskey down and away. "Come on, Jared. There's gotta be a better way to deal with this."
He mimes slits across both of his wrists and plays dead for a few seconds, laughing when he opens his eyes again and meets Misha's concerned gaze. "If I wasn't such a fucking coward." This time his laugh is more of a giggle. "Think if I have enough whiskey I'll grow a pair?"
"I'm getting pretty concerned about it, yeah." Misha's still frowning across from him, giving him this look that makes him feel a little guilty, which is the last fucking thing he needs to feel right now.
"They don't feel anything," Jared mumbles. "Jensen told me. Nothing. What I wouldn't give to be one of them."
"I don't think you mean that," Misha insists, finally succeeding in wrestling the whiskey away from Jared.
Jared shrugs and lets him have it. It's not doing him much good, anyway. "I didn't ask you."
"There's gotta be something else we can do to help him," Misha says.
Jared presses the palms of his hands into his closed eyelids to keep himself from crying and lets out a nasty bark of laughter instead. "He certainly didn't seem to think so."
"Well, I don't think he was trying very hard to find a way out of it, to be honest, Jared. From what you've told me, it sounds like he just wanted to do whatever he could to save you." Misha gives him a scolding look. "Which is a little more than I can say for you right now."
"How am I supposed to save him?" Jared asks. "He's on a fucking invisible spaceship full of aliens that are hell bent on torturing him. Best case scenario we blow that thing up before they descend on us, which means he's toast, too. He didn't give me a chance to help him when I stood a chance. Now what am I supposed to do? Even if I could get to him, how would I get him out?"
"Let's start with the basics. Do you at least know how to kill one?"
Jared gives the whiskey Misha stole from him a sideways glance. "Alcohol."
"You don't need more fucking alcohol, man," Misha snaps. "Will you focus?"
"No, I mean-it might have just been Jensen. But, man, he had a sip of beer once and didn’t even swallow it and spent the next day comatose. It scared the shit out of me."
"Okay, that's a start."
Jared frowns. "Not really. Means we can kill one if it beams down to Earth and trips onto our path. They won't bring him back down here, Misha. So, it's not a fucking start. We've got nothing."
"If we could just get on the ship-"
"Not possible either," Jared says. He's getting pretty annoyed with Misha acting as if Jared hasn't even thought about this. He spent a full day trying to find a workable solution before he accepted that he's failed again. "Jensen told me. There's only one way to get beamed up to the ship unless someone sends the beam down for you, and that's if you know where to go and you have to have…"
He stops, his eyes widening as it hits him. "You have to…"
"What?" Misha demands. "What do you have to have?"
He looks down at himself and speaks slowly as he lifts the bottom of his shirt. "You have to have their ink."
Misha stares at the black spot on his torso and after about half a minute, a sly smile takes over his face. "Are you getting a really bad idea right now, Jared?"
"If I was, would I be right to assume you'd help me out?"
Misha laughs. "Go home and sober up. I'll head to the lab and check the data I collected, see if the alcohol weakness looks like an allergy only he had or something the whole species might share."
"Yeah," Jared agrees, nodding his head. It's already feeling clearer, but he knows Misha's right. They need at least some semblance of a plan before they try anything. He calls a cab back to Misha's, where he's been staying since he woke up and found Jensen missing, and begins to think through how best to not get himself killed.
_______________________________________________________________
It takes all of twenty minutes for Jared to get caught. Not that that's surprising. He'd been expecting this, so it's almost with an air of amusement that he surrenders and lets the two Engelon guards that apprehend him wrap a tentacle around each of his arms and drag him to the ship's bridge.
The deposit him roughly at the foot-or, well, tentacle-of another Engelon, and Jared looks up from the floor to find it watching him.
"Stand, human," it says.
Its voice is surprisingly soft, musical, with an airy quality. He thinks of wind chimes and it's almost a nice thought, except that he's surrounded by psychopathic aliens.
"You the boss here?"
"We have no boss," it tells him. "I am simply the voice."
Jared thinks the voice is female, not just because she sounds that way, but from looking at her, too. The Engelons both are and are not what Jared was expecting. They're not as chaotic as he pictured when Jensen described them. He imagined them as big, tangled balls of snaky limbs, but there's no chaos to them, and the limbs that spread out around them seem ordered to the point of elegance.
He thinks they might all look the same to him if he hadn’t spent so much time with Jensen, but he can distinguish differences. They share the translucent white skin, shifting into every color of the rainbow when it hits the light, that had made Jensen's tentacles so beautiful to him, and they seem to be about the same size and shape, though some are taller than others, and Jared figures their bodies may vary, too, to someone who doesn't just look at them and see a bunch of tentacles. They all have different markings-some share the reddish brown dots Jared had teased Jensen about, because they'd looked like freckles on his tentacles, while others have stripes or bigger spots or various combinations.
The one standing in front of him seems to stand taller than the rest, though that may just be the gravitas. Her markings give off different colored ultraviolet glows. Despite everything, he sees enough of what made Jensen Engelon in her to realize that she must be a very great beauty. But it's a cruel beauty, and Jared doesn't want anything to do with it.
They have faces. Jared can't read them for the life of him, but they're there. So he squares his gaze with hers, big red eyes blinking vertically and then horizontal.
"Before we kill you, tell me how you got on board this ship."
"I need to talk to whoever's in charge. I've got a deal I'd like to make."
"I told you, we have no such hierarchy. We are all as one here."
Which is clearly a load of shit, because those guards had brought Jared here for her to decide what to do. For some reason, he thinks of Animal Farm and can't help a snicker.
"Great, well, then, I'll just make the deal with you and we can assume everybody agreed."
The sound she makes isn't a laugh, not really, but Jared thinks that's probably what it's supposed to be. He doesn't need to be able to read her face to know she's smiling-he can hear it sharp and clear.
"There won't be any deal, human. You will tell me how you boarded this vessel and then I will kill you."
"I bring an offer for peace from the planet Earth," Jared continues, unperturbed. "We may be willing to let you live."
The voice turns to look around, like she actually can't believe how stupid Jared is and needs to confirm it with the rest of her kin.
"Guards, seize him and feel free to drink him," she says.
Jared holds his hands out before they get a chance. "Okay," he says. He lifts his shirt slowly to reveal the stain on his stomach. "Okay, I'm cooperating."
The response to Jared's disclosure is hushed, like they wouldn't have thought of it on their own, but now it's obvious. "He shared our ink with you," she says angrily. "You must be the human he's dying for."
Jared does his best not to react to that. "I want him back, and I want you to promise not to attack. In exchange, we will allow you to leave with a good supply of water. Enough to carry you to another planet."
"We will have all of your water, Earthling, and he will die here. You have nothing to bargain that we do not intend to take without your help."
"But it'll be easier this way," Jared implores. "Peaceful. No one has to die, so why should they?"
"Why not?" she responds. "Your species are even more foolish than our research indicated."
Jared just hardly manages to contain his smile. They're taking the bait. Now all he has to do is reel them in. "Please, I brought you gifts as a token of our goodwill."
He reaches into his bag and pulls out the first of many water bottles and extends it out toward the voice. Her eyes immediately flash with hunger, and Jared knows he's hit a bull's eye.
"The human has brought us water as a sign of his subservience, sisters and brothers." Even Jared can see the smile when she turns on him. All her dignity and poise has been replaced by desperate greed; she's practically salivating. "How much did you bring?"
"Enough for everyone on this bridge, at least, maybe a bottle and a half per Engelon." He makes a stern face. "Just make sure you don't take all of it. At least two of those are for Jensen. I know he'll need it."
He's whacked unceremoniously off his feet by a tentacle as she seizes the heavy bag he's carrying. Sure as anything, every bottle in the bag has been swiped up and opened within seconds.
He keeps on protesting, begging them not to drink it all, to leave one for his Engelon, and that only spurs them to drink faster, trying to upset him. He calls out in horror one last time before the first genuine shout of pain breaks out, and Jared stands up, dusting himself off. "On second thought, you guys can have it all. Jensen's not a big fan of vodka."
The voice lead the other Engelons in this as in everything, draining the entire bottle as soon as she got a chance to smell the water inside, so she falls first. Luckily, the others didn't wait to make sure it was safe before chugging their own bottles. All that gluttony and not a single Engelon with enough imagination to suspect Jared has been lying since the moment he opened his mouth.
She collapses at his feet, her tentacles wrapping around his legs weakly, trying to shake him. "What-?" she says, clutching where her throat must be under all those limbs. "What-?"
Jared gives her a cold smile and shakes her off as easy as if she was a kitten. He watches the aliens on the bridge dying in a heap around her and bends down so he's on level with her. Her big red eyes are glued to him, and the unmitigated fear there almost makes him feel pity for her.
Then he remembers what she and the rest of these monsters have done-to Jensen, to his family, to whole planets of innocent creatures-and he feels so much ugly hatred that he's ashamed. But it feels good, too.
"I never intended to make peace with you," he tells her, reaching out and stroking his hand through tentacles in a mockery of tenderness. "You should have just let me keep him."
He thinks for a moment of killing her right then and there, putting her out of her misery, but he decides he'd rather get to rescuing Jensen and let the vodka do its work. They deserve to die slow.
Hopping over bodies, Jared finds the control deck and lets out a sigh of relief. He'd worried it would be too complicated to carry out the next phase of his and Misha's slightly crazy plan, but there are only about ten buttons to parse through, and Jared manages to activate the beam after five failed attempts. Misha appears nine minutes later, probably having come from the same place Jared did when he found the beam and managed to fool it into pulling him on board.
Misha looks around the bridge and gives Jared a nostalgic smile. "This place looks just like our dorm room junior year. Only, you know, it's aliens that are passed out on the floor instead of Chads."
"You brought more vodka?"
"I don't have a Russian name for nothing," Misha tells him, holding up two duffels with each hand. They make clinking sounds as they jerk with the movement.
"I have to-"
"Go find Jensen," Misha says with a knowing turn to his lips. "I know."
"You'll be alright?"
"Maybe, maybe not. Do I look like a fortune teller to you?"
"Just stay out of trouble until we get back. Try to locate him, and if I'm going in the wrong direction, let me know. I wouldn't leave you alone except-"
"It's okay, Jared. Go get your boy. Vicki would do the same for me."
Jared raises an eyebrow, and Misha ducks his head, laughing. "I would have said I'd do the same for her, but let's face it, if one of us was going to be the damsel in distress."
Jared laughs and is about to set out running, but Misha calls him back.
"Hold on, take one of these." Misha digs into his bag and pulls out a Super Soaker, like the ones Jared and Jeff used to torment each other with when they were kids.
"Don't tell me," he says as he accepts the weapon.
Misha preens. "Chock full of undiluted alcohol. Go forth and prosper."
"I could kiss you," Jared says, without thinking about who he's talking to.
Misha waggles his eyebrows and gives Jared a thumbs up. "I'll talk to the Mrs. about her feelings on foursomes. I expect good things."
Jared sets off through the first door he finds and starts walking where he thinks he's least likely to be spotted until Misha can radio him directions on where to go.
_______________________________________________________________
This time, when guards catch him, he's able to get the upper hand. He shoots one with his water gun and lets the other watch in confused horror as his comrade falls clutching where the alcohol is burning through its limbs.
"It's not a good way to go," he tells the remaining guard, kicking at the dying body next to him to help make his point.
It whimpers, and the other Engelon turns purple eyes on him. Jared recognizes respect in its gaze. "They told us you were kind creatures."
"They never lost something they love. Interesting what that can do to a human." He lifts the gun and points it. "Now, I'm gonna ask this once, and you're gonna answer, and I'll let you live for being such a good boy, because I'm just kind like that. Where is Jensen?"
"The traitor?" the alien asks.
Jared nods. Whatever. He's not about to split hairs.
"In the prison cells, on block seven."
Jared radios Misha. "Did you get that?"
"Yessir," Misha replies. "Finding it now."
"Well then, I guess I don't need you anymore," Jared tells the guard. "But I don't really need you letting anyone know I'm coming, either."
He shoots and the thing collapses, murmuring something about how Jared had promised.
Jared can't help laughing as he passes it. "You guys really need to figure out lying."
He only runs into one more Engelon before he reaches the prison cells, and he makes quick work of it, conscious of the fact that these aliens have at least some degree of ability to communicate with each other telepathically and hoping to kill it before it gets a chance to make things more complicated. Jared knows they've probably already started to warn each other-the vodka didn't work as quickly as it could have on the bridge, and there were too many of them to hope no one managed to send out an S.O.S. before dying.
Still, he'll take as much secrecy about where he is and where he intends to go as possible.
There are five Engelons waiting for him at the door to the prison, but Jared doesn't have time to waste on them. He pumps his gun quickly and takes them all out in one long spray, making sure to get each of them two or three times in different places. Their cries of agony are bound to bring more, and Jared's gun is only about two-thirds full now. He hopes that'll be enough. There's no knowing what state Jensen will be in when he finally rescues him-assuming it's not too late-and the aliens will be sure to be coming after him with more fury now. He's going to need a lot more on his return to the bridge than he needed coming here.
Jared pushes all of those thoughts away and just presses on. If he runs out, he runs out, he'll deal with it then. For now, he just needs to get Jensen.
As soon as he steps into the prison cell, he wishes he could get out. Jensen is hanging limply in a corner, chained by the neck. It's clear he hasn't had water since he got here, and his body is collapsing, melting into its original form but stubbornly trying to stay human at the same time. His legs have turned into two awkward tentacle-like squiggles, as have his hands, and when he sees Jared, he turns away as if against a wave of pain.
He whimpers, but says nothing.
"Jensen," Jared cries out, running to free him. As soon as he's unhooked the chain that was propping Jensen up, he collapses into Jared's arms. "Jensen."
"Please don't," he begs, and Jared's throat aches in sympathy just hearing how raw his voice is. "Not this. Don't do this."
"Jen, it's me. I'm here to rescue you, okay?"
"Water," he pleads. "So thirsty."
Jared licks his lips. "I brought you water," Jared promises. He takes the tentacles where Jensen's hands should be and presses them against his neck. "Drink."
Jensen shakes his head. "Not like. Not like that."
"It was the only way. They would have taken it if I'd brought a container," Jared tells him, brushing his hand over Jensen's face. "It's okay, I drank extra for you."
"Won't be able to stop," Jensen says. "Too thirsty."
"No, I know you can do it. Just drink enough to be okay walking and that'll be it." He smiles and presses a kiss to Jensen's forehead. "C'mon, baby. I know you can do it."
"Can't. Won't." He whimpers when Jared presses the limbs tighter against his skin. He's a starving man, and Jared knows he won't be able to fight the urge for long. "I don't wanna be a parasite."
He lets out a shaky laugh. "Fuck, Jensen. Of all the things I ever said to you, don't let that be the one thing that sticks."
"I'll kill you," he says, looking up at Jared with his green eyes bigger than they used to be. Jared realizes that's a part of him returning to his original form, too, and he holds the gaze with some effort.
"Better that than I try to live without you anymore." Jared gives Jensen his own set of puppy eyes. "I risked my life to come up here, because I would rather die with you than live the other way. So you can drink me dry and I won't hate you for it. But I know you won't. I know you can stop yourself. You're not like them."
Jensen hesitates a little longer, but Jared can see him wavering. He hears something out in the hall and knows they only have so long before he needs to be ready to shoot whatever comes through that door. "Jensen, please. I'm not leaving without you. Drink before they get here and we both die anyway."
The green eyes close, like Jensen can't bear to watch what he's about to do, and Jared feels the suction cups on his throat begin to work at him. It's uncomfortable, making his mouth go dry and sticky and his head feel light. It goes on for nearly a minute, and Jared realizes that he's getting too tired to fight his way back to the bridge.
"Jensen, that's-please tell me you've had enough."
Jensen opens his eyes then. They're a darker shade of green than he's ever seen, and Jared realizes he doesn't want to stop.
"Jensen. Jensen, please. Stop. Stop now."
It feels like his skin is being ripped off when Jensen finally detaches himself, yanking his limb away and pushing Jared roughly so he's out of reach.
"Jared," Jensen says. His voice is stronger now, clearer, and that gives Jared some hope. At least until he tries to stand and slips, too tired to hold himself. "Oh god, no, no. Jared, no."
"It's okay," Jared says, closing his eyes. He tries to swallow, but he can't manage enough saliva. "I'm okay."
With more effort, Jared braces himself, scrambling to grab the water gun before he stands. It feels unbearably heavy now, and his muscles ache like he hasn't used them in years.
But he has to keep going. He has to get Jensen back to Misha. "Can you walk yet?"
Jensen shakes his head, sitting up against a nearby wall. "It'll take time for the water to fix me," he says. "Just go without me."
"Yeah, right," Jared tells him. "I came here for you, I'm not leaving you."
"Leave me," he says when Jared stoops to wrap one of Jensen's arms around his shoulders. "Please, I-I made you too weak. We'll never get out, not both of us. Oh god, Jared, I couldn't help it."
"Shh," he says. "I need to concentrate on walking, so if you see someone I should shoot, you need to tell me, okay?"
Jensen sees that he's got no choice here, so he nods, and Jared lifts him. They begin to hobble their way back to the bridge.
_______________________________________________________________
"Aw, honey," Misha says when they finally find the bridge and Jared carries Jensen up to the control panel. "You brought me a present."
"Water supply," Jared says, as desperate for his own sake as Jensen's. "Please tell me you found it."
"I'm just that good," Misha says. He looks from Jared to Jensen and back again. "How'd you get in Mojave desert condition?"
"He was dying," Jared explains. "He needed-"
"Got it," Misha says, summing up the situation. He digs into his bag for another water gun and says, "I guess I get to be the badass first person shooter this time. Follow me."
The ship's water is stored on a tank mercifully close to the bridge. Misha even managed to find a direct route that included an elevator, which is a good thing, because Jared probably couldn't have managed stairs, even though he's only carrying Jensen now that Misha has control of weapons.
"How do we get into it?" Jared asks when they arrive.
"Well, first thing's first. You two, grab a drink." He gestures to containers and what looks like a faucet, and Jared doesn't need to be told twice. The containers are pretty big, maybe ten gallons, so Jared only fills one for the two of them. No way can he carry a full one twice.
He dips his hands in and drinks four or five handfuls before he turns to Jensen and starts scooping water into Jensen's mouth. Jensen visibly relaxes after the first few, so Jared keeps going for a little while, then begins to rub Jensen down, spreading water all over his dry skin, but especially his hands and legs. He's gonna need full control of those, whether they stay tentacles or not.
Finally, Jensen has the energy and wherewithal to curl over the container himself, dunking his head in. Jared leaves him to it and walks over to Misha.
"Any bright ideas?"
"I was thinking we could poison the water supply, but that would take way more alcohol than we've got. It'll get diluted in this much. Maybe give them a tummy ache, but that'll only make them more desperate to strike at Earth faster."
"Plan B?" Jared asks.
"Plan B was to spill it. Break the tank and leave them with no food source, then set the ship on auto-pilot away from Earth. That might be enough of a derailment that they'd starve before making it back, but I can't promise it, and that tank is too well built to break before they catch up to us. We can't fight all the aliens on this ship, no matter how much alcohol we have."
"Burn it!"
Misha and Jared both turn to look at Jensen. Jensen is still sitting on the floor, but he looks to be in better condition. His hair is wet from dunking, but his expression is dead serious.
"Alcohol burns, right?"
Misha gives Jensen a delighted look. "Yes, very well."
"Even if the fire doesn't get everyone, the smoke will. That's one gas I guarantee we can't breathe. Now burn this fucking ship and let's get out of here."
"I've always thought you had good taste in men," Misha says, pointing to Jensen. "But that one's a keeper."
_______________________________________________________________
They beam Jensen down first, because the fumes will be just as deadly to him as the Engelons they are trying to kill, and then Jared gets to work lacing the ship with trails of alcohol as Misha fiddles with the controls.
It takes him about 20 minutes and one entire Super Soaker full of close calls to cover enough of the ship that he's sure it'll go down once it's lit, but he finds Misha whistling cheerfully at control when he returns.
"I've set the ship to pilot toward Mars, so when the giant, flaming spaceship crashes, it doesn't smack into Earth."
"Good job," Jared tells him, smacking him on the back. "You ready to beam down?"
"Indubitably," Misha says. He fishes into his pocket for a box of matches. "You want the honor, or should I?"
"You head home, Misha," Jared says with a grin. "I would very much like to do this one."
Misha nods, getting a head start to the entrance while Jared activates the auto-pilot Misha programmed and takes a deep breath of clean air. Then Jared strikes seven matches at once and drops them to the ground.
The flames immediately begin to spread out and Jared takes off, sprinting to safety. He's only a few steps ahead of the blaze, but it's enough. About ten feet from the ground, the beam drops him suddenly, and Jared knows it means the ship has sailed too far out of range to hold the beam steady.
He waves goodbye to the invisible ship pulling out of Earth's atmosphere and turns to look at his friends.
"I'm getting too old for this shit," Misha says, letting himself fall back onto the grass as he catches his breath.
Jared and Jensen just laugh, relief and exhaustion making their amusement border on maniacal.
They all end up back on Jared's farm about an hour later, after they had a chance to recuperate and limp their tired asses back. Misha goes to bed early, insisting that being a superhero is very tiring work, and Jared waves him off, happy to have Jensen to himself.
Jensen sits out on the porch, quieter than usual. Introspective. Not that Jared blames him-he's had a pretty stressful few days. He's staring up at the stars with an expression Jared can't read on his face, and Jared's heart catches trying to imagine what Jensen's feeling right now.
"Are you okay?" he asks, taking a seat next to Jensen and handing him a jug of water. Jensen's still not 100% physically speaking, but he accepts the drink with a grateful smile and nods.
"I feel a lot better, Jared." He looks down at the glass and smiles. "I cannot believe that suicide mission actually worked. I'll kill you if you ever pull a stunt like that again."
Jared laughs. "As long as you're around to do the killing, I'm cool with it."
Jensen frowns, and Jared realizes that probably wasn't the best joke to make right now, considering. Jensen reaches out, his fingers ghosting over the purple marks Jared knows are on his neck, shaking his head sadly. "Fuck, Jared."
Jared takes Jensen's hand away from his throat and wraps his fingers around it, squeezing. "I'm good, Jensen. I'm fine. I knew you could do it."
"You have no idea how much I wanted to keep going," he admits, looking down at his feet. "I'm always gonna be a monster, aren't I?"
"My monster," Jared teases. He bumps his shoulder with Jensen's. "I, uh. I know how you feel. On that score at least. I-I liked hurting them. I never thought I could be that spiteful, but I hated them so much."
"You sound ashamed," Jensen observes, turning to look at him more closely. "There's nothing shameful about what you did."
"I killed-a lot."
"Of monsters. If anything ever deserved to die, it was them. They got better than they deserved."
Jared winces. "They were your family once. You're not even a little upset by what happened to them?"
Jensen looks down at his hands. "They told me you were dead. When they were torturing me, trying to get me to betray humans. They kept saying 'what does it matter anymore, the one you care about is dust now, I killed him myself.'" Jensen's voice thickens, but he keeps pushing. "I begged them to kill me, too. They wouldn't agree to it unless I sold humanity out first. And when I refused, they left me to starve."
Jared can feel his face dropping, but he reaches out to rub Jensen's thigh supportively.
"That wasn't the worst of it," he whispers.
"What could be worse?"
Jensen looks at him for a long time. "One of them offered to wipe my memory if I agreed to betray you. So I wouldn't remember I'd hurt you. So I wouldn't remember you at all. They tried to bribe me with that." He wipes a hand over his mouth, and Jared can see how ashamed he is. "I can't believe I offered that to you. How could I even make you imagine losing your family like that?" He shudders. "Just the thought of it made me feel…"
He kicks the ground, so Jared pulls him in, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. "It's okay, Jensen. Everything's okay now."
"I know. And I'm glad." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Jared. I am. A part of me wishes it was different. But I'm one of them in that way at least. I'm never going to feel this like you think I should. I'll never be sad they're gone."
"Let's go in, huh?" Jared makes himself smile, and Jensen looks at him like he can't believe Jared still wants him. But he's here, and he's safe. They both are. The smile turns from forced to a genuine kind of thing that makes him ache. "When was the last time you ate?"
Jensen grabs him and kisses him so hard it might just leave a bruise. His hand slides down, and he traces his fingers up inside of Jared's shirt, over the black mark he left and all the way to Jared's heart. He presses his palm there to feel Jared's heartbeat, and Jared grins.
He figures this was worth a few bruises.
The End.
PART FOUR
"I think you should probably slow down there."
"I'm drinking for two," Jared reminds Misha before attempting to take another sip from the bottle clutched in his fist.
Misha reaches out and stops him, pushing the whiskey down and away. "Come on, Jared. There's gotta be a better way to deal with this."
He mimes slits across both of his wrists and plays dead for a few seconds, laughing when he opens his eyes again and meets Misha's concerned gaze. "If I wasn't such a fucking coward." This time his laugh is more of a giggle. "Think if I have enough whiskey I'll grow a pair?"
"I'm getting pretty concerned about it, yeah." Misha's still frowning across from him, giving him this look that makes him feel a little guilty, which is the last fucking thing he needs to feel right now.
"They don't feel anything," Jared mumbles. "Jensen told me. Nothing. What I wouldn't give to be one of them."
"I don't think you mean that," Misha insists, finally succeeding in wrestling the whiskey away from Jared.
Jared shrugs and lets him have it. It's not doing him much good, anyway. "I didn't ask you."
"There's gotta be something else we can do to help him," Misha says.
Jared presses the palms of his hands into his closed eyelids to keep himself from crying and lets out a nasty bark of laughter instead. "He certainly didn't seem to think so."
"Well, I don't think he was trying very hard to find a way out of it, to be honest, Jared. From what you've told me, it sounds like he just wanted to do whatever he could to save you." Misha gives him a scolding look. "Which is a little more than I can say for you right now."
"How am I supposed to save him?" Jared asks. "He's on a fucking invisible spaceship full of aliens that are hell bent on torturing him. Best case scenario we blow that thing up before they descend on us, which means he's toast, too. He didn't give me a chance to help him when I stood a chance. Now what am I supposed to do? Even if I could get to him, how would I get him out?"
"Let's start with the basics. Do you at least know how to kill one?"
Jared gives the whiskey Misha stole from him a sideways glance. "Alcohol."
"You don't need more fucking alcohol, man," Misha snaps. "Will you focus?"
"No, I mean-it might have just been Jensen. But, man, he had a sip of beer once and didn’t even swallow it and spent the next day comatose. It scared the shit out of me."
"Okay, that's a start."
Jared frowns. "Not really. Means we can kill one if it beams down to Earth and trips onto our path. They won't bring him back down here, Misha. So, it's not a fucking start. We've got nothing."
"If we could just get on the ship-"
"Not possible either," Jared says. He's getting pretty annoyed with Misha acting as if Jared hasn't even thought about this. He spent a full day trying to find a workable solution before he accepted that he's failed again. "Jensen told me. There's only one way to get beamed up to the ship unless someone sends the beam down for you, and that's if you know where to go and you have to have…"
He stops, his eyes widening as it hits him. "You have to…"
"What?" Misha demands. "What do you have to have?"
He looks down at himself and speaks slowly as he lifts the bottom of his shirt. "You have to have their ink."
Misha stares at the black spot on his torso and after about half a minute, a sly smile takes over his face. "Are you getting a really bad idea right now, Jared?"
"If I was, would I be right to assume you'd help me out?"
Misha laughs. "Go home and sober up. I'll head to the lab and check the data I collected, see if the alcohol weakness looks like an allergy only he had or something the whole species might share."
"Yeah," Jared agrees, nodding his head. It's already feeling clearer, but he knows Misha's right. They need at least some semblance of a plan before they try anything. He calls a cab back to Misha's, where he's been staying since he woke up and found Jensen missing, and begins to think through how best to not get himself killed.
_______________________________________________________________
It takes all of twenty minutes for Jared to get caught. Not that that's surprising. He'd been expecting this, so it's almost with an air of amusement that he surrenders and lets the two Engelon guards that apprehend him wrap a tentacle around each of his arms and drag him to the ship's bridge.
The deposit him roughly at the foot-or, well, tentacle-of another Engelon, and Jared looks up from the floor to find it watching him.
"Stand, human," it says.
Its voice is surprisingly soft, musical, with an airy quality. He thinks of wind chimes and it's almost a nice thought, except that he's surrounded by psychopathic aliens.
"You the boss here?"
"We have no boss," it tells him. "I am simply the voice."
Jared thinks the voice is female, not just because she sounds that way, but from looking at her, too. The Engelons both are and are not what Jared was expecting. They're not as chaotic as he pictured when Jensen described them. He imagined them as big, tangled balls of snaky limbs, but there's no chaos to them, and the limbs that spread out around them seem ordered to the point of elegance.
He thinks they might all look the same to him if he hadn’t spent so much time with Jensen, but he can distinguish differences. They share the translucent white skin, shifting into every color of the rainbow when it hits the light, that had made Jensen's tentacles so beautiful to him, and they seem to be about the same size and shape, though some are taller than others, and Jared figures their bodies may vary, too, to someone who doesn't just look at them and see a bunch of tentacles. They all have different markings-some share the reddish brown dots Jared had teased Jensen about, because they'd looked like freckles on his tentacles, while others have stripes or bigger spots or various combinations.
The one standing in front of him seems to stand taller than the rest, though that may just be the gravitas. Her markings give off different colored ultraviolet glows. Despite everything, he sees enough of what made Jensen Engelon in her to realize that she must be a very great beauty. But it's a cruel beauty, and Jared doesn't want anything to do with it.
They have faces. Jared can't read them for the life of him, but they're there. So he squares his gaze with hers, big red eyes blinking vertically and then horizontal.
"Before we kill you, tell me how you got on board this ship."
"I need to talk to whoever's in charge. I've got a deal I'd like to make."
"I told you, we have no such hierarchy. We are all as one here."
Which is clearly a load of shit, because those guards had brought Jared here for her to decide what to do. For some reason, he thinks of Animal Farm and can't help a snicker.
"Great, well, then, I'll just make the deal with you and we can assume everybody agreed."
The sound she makes isn't a laugh, not really, but Jared thinks that's probably what it's supposed to be. He doesn't need to be able to read her face to know she's smiling-he can hear it sharp and clear.
"There won't be any deal, human. You will tell me how you boarded this vessel and then I will kill you."
"I bring an offer for peace from the planet Earth," Jared continues, unperturbed. "We may be willing to let you live."
The voice turns to look around, like she actually can't believe how stupid Jared is and needs to confirm it with the rest of her kin.
"Guards, seize him and feel free to drink him," she says.
Jared holds his hands out before they get a chance. "Okay," he says. He lifts his shirt slowly to reveal the stain on his stomach. "Okay, I'm cooperating."
The response to Jared's disclosure is hushed, like they wouldn't have thought of it on their own, but now it's obvious. "He shared our ink with you," she says angrily. "You must be the human he's dying for."
Jared does his best not to react to that. "I want him back, and I want you to promise not to attack. In exchange, we will allow you to leave with a good supply of water. Enough to carry you to another planet."
"We will have all of your water, Earthling, and he will die here. You have nothing to bargain that we do not intend to take without your help."
"But it'll be easier this way," Jared implores. "Peaceful. No one has to die, so why should they?"
"Why not?" she responds. "Your species are even more foolish than our research indicated."
Jared just hardly manages to contain his smile. They're taking the bait. Now all he has to do is reel them in. "Please, I brought you gifts as a token of our goodwill."
He reaches into his bag and pulls out the first of many water bottles and extends it out toward the voice. Her eyes immediately flash with hunger, and Jared knows he's hit a bull's eye.
"The human has brought us water as a sign of his subservience, sisters and brothers." Even Jared can see the smile when she turns on him. All her dignity and poise has been replaced by desperate greed; she's practically salivating. "How much did you bring?"
"Enough for everyone on this bridge, at least, maybe a bottle and a half per Engelon." He makes a stern face. "Just make sure you don't take all of it. At least two of those are for Jensen. I know he'll need it."
He's whacked unceremoniously off his feet by a tentacle as she seizes the heavy bag he's carrying. Sure as anything, every bottle in the bag has been swiped up and opened within seconds.
He keeps on protesting, begging them not to drink it all, to leave one for his Engelon, and that only spurs them to drink faster, trying to upset him. He calls out in horror one last time before the first genuine shout of pain breaks out, and Jared stands up, dusting himself off. "On second thought, you guys can have it all. Jensen's not a big fan of vodka."
The voice lead the other Engelons in this as in everything, draining the entire bottle as soon as she got a chance to smell the water inside, so she falls first. Luckily, the others didn't wait to make sure it was safe before chugging their own bottles. All that gluttony and not a single Engelon with enough imagination to suspect Jared has been lying since the moment he opened his mouth.
She collapses at his feet, her tentacles wrapping around his legs weakly, trying to shake him. "What-?" she says, clutching where her throat must be under all those limbs. "What-?"
Jared gives her a cold smile and shakes her off as easy as if she was a kitten. He watches the aliens on the bridge dying in a heap around her and bends down so he's on level with her. Her big red eyes are glued to him, and the unmitigated fear there almost makes him feel pity for her.
Then he remembers what she and the rest of these monsters have done-to Jensen, to his family, to whole planets of innocent creatures-and he feels so much ugly hatred that he's ashamed. But it feels good, too.
"I never intended to make peace with you," he tells her, reaching out and stroking his hand through tentacles in a mockery of tenderness. "You should have just let me keep him."
He thinks for a moment of killing her right then and there, putting her out of her misery, but he decides he'd rather get to rescuing Jensen and let the vodka do its work. They deserve to die slow.
Hopping over bodies, Jared finds the control deck and lets out a sigh of relief. He'd worried it would be too complicated to carry out the next phase of his and Misha's slightly crazy plan, but there are only about ten buttons to parse through, and Jared manages to activate the beam after five failed attempts. Misha appears nine minutes later, probably having come from the same place Jared did when he found the beam and managed to fool it into pulling him on board.
Misha looks around the bridge and gives Jared a nostalgic smile. "This place looks just like our dorm room junior year. Only, you know, it's aliens that are passed out on the floor instead of Chads."
"You brought more vodka?"
"I don't have a Russian name for nothing," Misha tells him, holding up two duffels with each hand. They make clinking sounds as they jerk with the movement.
"I have to-"
"Go find Jensen," Misha says with a knowing turn to his lips. "I know."
"You'll be alright?"
"Maybe, maybe not. Do I look like a fortune teller to you?"
"Just stay out of trouble until we get back. Try to locate him, and if I'm going in the wrong direction, let me know. I wouldn't leave you alone except-"
"It's okay, Jared. Go get your boy. Vicki would do the same for me."
Jared raises an eyebrow, and Misha ducks his head, laughing. "I would have said I'd do the same for her, but let's face it, if one of us was going to be the damsel in distress."
Jared laughs and is about to set out running, but Misha calls him back.
"Hold on, take one of these." Misha digs into his bag and pulls out a Super Soaker, like the ones Jared and Jeff used to torment each other with when they were kids.
"Don't tell me," he says as he accepts the weapon.
Misha preens. "Chock full of undiluted alcohol. Go forth and prosper."
"I could kiss you," Jared says, without thinking about who he's talking to.
Misha waggles his eyebrows and gives Jared a thumbs up. "I'll talk to the Mrs. about her feelings on foursomes. I expect good things."
Jared sets off through the first door he finds and starts walking where he thinks he's least likely to be spotted until Misha can radio him directions on where to go.
_______________________________________________________________
This time, when guards catch him, he's able to get the upper hand. He shoots one with his water gun and lets the other watch in confused horror as his comrade falls clutching where the alcohol is burning through its limbs.
"It's not a good way to go," he tells the remaining guard, kicking at the dying body next to him to help make his point.
It whimpers, and the other Engelon turns purple eyes on him. Jared recognizes respect in its gaze. "They told us you were kind creatures."
"They never lost something they love. Interesting what that can do to a human." He lifts the gun and points it. "Now, I'm gonna ask this once, and you're gonna answer, and I'll let you live for being such a good boy, because I'm just kind like that. Where is Jensen?"
"The traitor?" the alien asks.
Jared nods. Whatever. He's not about to split hairs.
"In the prison cells, on block seven."
Jared radios Misha. "Did you get that?"
"Yessir," Misha replies. "Finding it now."
"Well then, I guess I don't need you anymore," Jared tells the guard. "But I don't really need you letting anyone know I'm coming, either."
He shoots and the thing collapses, murmuring something about how Jared had promised.
Jared can't help laughing as he passes it. "You guys really need to figure out lying."
He only runs into one more Engelon before he reaches the prison cells, and he makes quick work of it, conscious of the fact that these aliens have at least some degree of ability to communicate with each other telepathically and hoping to kill it before it gets a chance to make things more complicated. Jared knows they've probably already started to warn each other-the vodka didn't work as quickly as it could have on the bridge, and there were too many of them to hope no one managed to send out an S.O.S. before dying.
Still, he'll take as much secrecy about where he is and where he intends to go as possible.
There are five Engelons waiting for him at the door to the prison, but Jared doesn't have time to waste on them. He pumps his gun quickly and takes them all out in one long spray, making sure to get each of them two or three times in different places. Their cries of agony are bound to bring more, and Jared's gun is only about two-thirds full now. He hopes that'll be enough. There's no knowing what state Jensen will be in when he finally rescues him-assuming it's not too late-and the aliens will be sure to be coming after him with more fury now. He's going to need a lot more on his return to the bridge than he needed coming here.
Jared pushes all of those thoughts away and just presses on. If he runs out, he runs out, he'll deal with it then. For now, he just needs to get Jensen.
As soon as he steps into the prison cell, he wishes he could get out. Jensen is hanging limply in a corner, chained by the neck. It's clear he hasn't had water since he got here, and his body is collapsing, melting into its original form but stubbornly trying to stay human at the same time. His legs have turned into two awkward tentacle-like squiggles, as have his hands, and when he sees Jared, he turns away as if against a wave of pain.
He whimpers, but says nothing.
"Jensen," Jared cries out, running to free him. As soon as he's unhooked the chain that was propping Jensen up, he collapses into Jared's arms. "Jensen."
"Please don't," he begs, and Jared's throat aches in sympathy just hearing how raw his voice is. "Not this. Don't do this."
"Jen, it's me. I'm here to rescue you, okay?"
"Water," he pleads. "So thirsty."
Jared licks his lips. "I brought you water," Jared promises. He takes the tentacles where Jensen's hands should be and presses them against his neck. "Drink."
Jensen shakes his head. "Not like. Not like that."
"It was the only way. They would have taken it if I'd brought a container," Jared tells him, brushing his hand over Jensen's face. "It's okay, I drank extra for you."
"Won't be able to stop," Jensen says. "Too thirsty."
"No, I know you can do it. Just drink enough to be okay walking and that'll be it." He smiles and presses a kiss to Jensen's forehead. "C'mon, baby. I know you can do it."
"Can't. Won't." He whimpers when Jared presses the limbs tighter against his skin. He's a starving man, and Jared knows he won't be able to fight the urge for long. "I don't wanna be a parasite."
He lets out a shaky laugh. "Fuck, Jensen. Of all the things I ever said to you, don't let that be the one thing that sticks."
"I'll kill you," he says, looking up at Jared with his green eyes bigger than they used to be. Jared realizes that's a part of him returning to his original form, too, and he holds the gaze with some effort.
"Better that than I try to live without you anymore." Jared gives Jensen his own set of puppy eyes. "I risked my life to come up here, because I would rather die with you than live the other way. So you can drink me dry and I won't hate you for it. But I know you won't. I know you can stop yourself. You're not like them."
Jensen hesitates a little longer, but Jared can see him wavering. He hears something out in the hall and knows they only have so long before he needs to be ready to shoot whatever comes through that door. "Jensen, please. I'm not leaving without you. Drink before they get here and we both die anyway."
The green eyes close, like Jensen can't bear to watch what he's about to do, and Jared feels the suction cups on his throat begin to work at him. It's uncomfortable, making his mouth go dry and sticky and his head feel light. It goes on for nearly a minute, and Jared realizes that he's getting too tired to fight his way back to the bridge.
"Jensen, that's-please tell me you've had enough."
Jensen opens his eyes then. They're a darker shade of green than he's ever seen, and Jared realizes he doesn't want to stop.
"Jensen. Jensen, please. Stop. Stop now."
It feels like his skin is being ripped off when Jensen finally detaches himself, yanking his limb away and pushing Jared roughly so he's out of reach.
"Jared," Jensen says. His voice is stronger now, clearer, and that gives Jared some hope. At least until he tries to stand and slips, too tired to hold himself. "Oh god, no, no. Jared, no."
"It's okay," Jared says, closing his eyes. He tries to swallow, but he can't manage enough saliva. "I'm okay."
With more effort, Jared braces himself, scrambling to grab the water gun before he stands. It feels unbearably heavy now, and his muscles ache like he hasn't used them in years.
But he has to keep going. He has to get Jensen back to Misha. "Can you walk yet?"
Jensen shakes his head, sitting up against a nearby wall. "It'll take time for the water to fix me," he says. "Just go without me."
"Yeah, right," Jared tells him. "I came here for you, I'm not leaving you."
"Leave me," he says when Jared stoops to wrap one of Jensen's arms around his shoulders. "Please, I-I made you too weak. We'll never get out, not both of us. Oh god, Jared, I couldn't help it."
"Shh," he says. "I need to concentrate on walking, so if you see someone I should shoot, you need to tell me, okay?"
Jensen sees that he's got no choice here, so he nods, and Jared lifts him. They begin to hobble their way back to the bridge.
_______________________________________________________________
"Aw, honey," Misha says when they finally find the bridge and Jared carries Jensen up to the control panel. "You brought me a present."
"Water supply," Jared says, as desperate for his own sake as Jensen's. "Please tell me you found it."
"I'm just that good," Misha says. He looks from Jared to Jensen and back again. "How'd you get in Mojave desert condition?"
"He was dying," Jared explains. "He needed-"
"Got it," Misha says, summing up the situation. He digs into his bag for another water gun and says, "I guess I get to be the badass first person shooter this time. Follow me."
The ship's water is stored on a tank mercifully close to the bridge. Misha even managed to find a direct route that included an elevator, which is a good thing, because Jared probably couldn't have managed stairs, even though he's only carrying Jensen now that Misha has control of weapons.
"How do we get into it?" Jared asks when they arrive.
"Well, first thing's first. You two, grab a drink." He gestures to containers and what looks like a faucet, and Jared doesn't need to be told twice. The containers are pretty big, maybe ten gallons, so Jared only fills one for the two of them. No way can he carry a full one twice.
He dips his hands in and drinks four or five handfuls before he turns to Jensen and starts scooping water into Jensen's mouth. Jensen visibly relaxes after the first few, so Jared keeps going for a little while, then begins to rub Jensen down, spreading water all over his dry skin, but especially his hands and legs. He's gonna need full control of those, whether they stay tentacles or not.
Finally, Jensen has the energy and wherewithal to curl over the container himself, dunking his head in. Jared leaves him to it and walks over to Misha.
"Any bright ideas?"
"I was thinking we could poison the water supply, but that would take way more alcohol than we've got. It'll get diluted in this much. Maybe give them a tummy ache, but that'll only make them more desperate to strike at Earth faster."
"Plan B?" Jared asks.
"Plan B was to spill it. Break the tank and leave them with no food source, then set the ship on auto-pilot away from Earth. That might be enough of a derailment that they'd starve before making it back, but I can't promise it, and that tank is too well built to break before they catch up to us. We can't fight all the aliens on this ship, no matter how much alcohol we have."
"Burn it!"
Misha and Jared both turn to look at Jensen. Jensen is still sitting on the floor, but he looks to be in better condition. His hair is wet from dunking, but his expression is dead serious.
"Alcohol burns, right?"
Misha gives Jensen a delighted look. "Yes, very well."
"Even if the fire doesn't get everyone, the smoke will. That's one gas I guarantee we can't breathe. Now burn this fucking ship and let's get out of here."
"I've always thought you had good taste in men," Misha says, pointing to Jensen. "But that one's a keeper."
_______________________________________________________________
They beam Jensen down first, because the fumes will be just as deadly to him as the Engelons they are trying to kill, and then Jared gets to work lacing the ship with trails of alcohol as Misha fiddles with the controls.
It takes him about 20 minutes and one entire Super Soaker full of close calls to cover enough of the ship that he's sure it'll go down once it's lit, but he finds Misha whistling cheerfully at control when he returns.
"I've set the ship to pilot toward Mars, so when the giant, flaming spaceship crashes, it doesn't smack into Earth."
"Good job," Jared tells him, smacking him on the back. "You ready to beam down?"
"Indubitably," Misha says. He fishes into his pocket for a box of matches. "You want the honor, or should I?"
"You head home, Misha," Jared says with a grin. "I would very much like to do this one."
Misha nods, getting a head start to the entrance while Jared activates the auto-pilot Misha programmed and takes a deep breath of clean air. Then Jared strikes seven matches at once and drops them to the ground.
The flames immediately begin to spread out and Jared takes off, sprinting to safety. He's only a few steps ahead of the blaze, but it's enough. About ten feet from the ground, the beam drops him suddenly, and Jared knows it means the ship has sailed too far out of range to hold the beam steady.
He waves goodbye to the invisible ship pulling out of Earth's atmosphere and turns to look at his friends.
"I'm getting too old for this shit," Misha says, letting himself fall back onto the grass as he catches his breath.
Jared and Jensen just laugh, relief and exhaustion making their amusement border on maniacal.
They all end up back on Jared's farm about an hour later, after they had a chance to recuperate and limp their tired asses back. Misha goes to bed early, insisting that being a superhero is very tiring work, and Jared waves him off, happy to have Jensen to himself.
Jensen sits out on the porch, quieter than usual. Introspective. Not that Jared blames him-he's had a pretty stressful few days. He's staring up at the stars with an expression Jared can't read on his face, and Jared's heart catches trying to imagine what Jensen's feeling right now.
"Are you okay?" he asks, taking a seat next to Jensen and handing him a jug of water. Jensen's still not 100% physically speaking, but he accepts the drink with a grateful smile and nods.
"I feel a lot better, Jared." He looks down at the glass and smiles. "I cannot believe that suicide mission actually worked. I'll kill you if you ever pull a stunt like that again."
Jared laughs. "As long as you're around to do the killing, I'm cool with it."
Jensen frowns, and Jared realizes that probably wasn't the best joke to make right now, considering. Jensen reaches out, his fingers ghosting over the purple marks Jared knows are on his neck, shaking his head sadly. "Fuck, Jared."
Jared takes Jensen's hand away from his throat and wraps his fingers around it, squeezing. "I'm good, Jensen. I'm fine. I knew you could do it."
"You have no idea how much I wanted to keep going," he admits, looking down at his feet. "I'm always gonna be a monster, aren't I?"
"My monster," Jared teases. He bumps his shoulder with Jensen's. "I, uh. I know how you feel. On that score at least. I-I liked hurting them. I never thought I could be that spiteful, but I hated them so much."
"You sound ashamed," Jensen observes, turning to look at him more closely. "There's nothing shameful about what you did."
"I killed-a lot."
"Of monsters. If anything ever deserved to die, it was them. They got better than they deserved."
Jared winces. "They were your family once. You're not even a little upset by what happened to them?"
Jensen looks down at his hands. "They told me you were dead. When they were torturing me, trying to get me to betray humans. They kept saying 'what does it matter anymore, the one you care about is dust now, I killed him myself.'" Jensen's voice thickens, but he keeps pushing. "I begged them to kill me, too. They wouldn't agree to it unless I sold humanity out first. And when I refused, they left me to starve."
Jared can feel his face dropping, but he reaches out to rub Jensen's thigh supportively.
"That wasn't the worst of it," he whispers.
"What could be worse?"
Jensen looks at him for a long time. "One of them offered to wipe my memory if I agreed to betray you. So I wouldn't remember I'd hurt you. So I wouldn't remember you at all. They tried to bribe me with that." He wipes a hand over his mouth, and Jared can see how ashamed he is. "I can't believe I offered that to you. How could I even make you imagine losing your family like that?" He shudders. "Just the thought of it made me feel…"
He kicks the ground, so Jared pulls him in, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. "It's okay, Jensen. Everything's okay now."
"I know. And I'm glad." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Jared. I am. A part of me wishes it was different. But I'm one of them in that way at least. I'm never going to feel this like you think I should. I'll never be sad they're gone."
"Let's go in, huh?" Jared makes himself smile, and Jensen looks at him like he can't believe Jared still wants him. But he's here, and he's safe. They both are. The smile turns from forced to a genuine kind of thing that makes him ache. "When was the last time you ate?"
Jensen grabs him and kisses him so hard it might just leave a bruise. His hand slides down, and he traces his fingers up inside of Jared's shirt, over the black mark he left and all the way to Jared's heart. He presses his palm there to feel Jared's heartbeat, and Jared grins.
He figures this was worth a few bruises.
The End.