Real Person Fic - CW: Inebriated is a Big Word for Drunk
Title: Inebriated is a Big Word for Drunk
Fandom: Real Person Fic - CW
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Genre: Schmoop, Flangst, Smut
Rating: NC-17 for Explicit Sexual Content (Drunken First Time), Language, and Alcohol Consumption
Word Count: 3,858
Author’s Note: Written for akintay’s birthday. She asked for: “Sam/Dean or Jared/Jensen - I love fics with lots of banter and flirting and touching. Maybe a fic where Jared and Jensen are co-workers. There is a slight possibility that I like fics where the boys take showers together, or bathe together, or are in the pool together…yeah.” I decided to go Non-AU…which kind of counts as making the boys co-workers? I know you like Non-AU, so hopefully you won’t mind! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANNA!! <3333 I hope it’s a really great one and that you enjoy this story. Sorry this is a little late, I had to post a bigbang on your birthday and I wanted to give the people watching my writing comm a chance to recover. Thank you to my beautiful elvensapphire for looking it over for me! ETA 5/7/2013: Thanks to eos_rose, you can now read this in epub format here.
Summary: Non-AU: This is one of those times when Jared really wishes he stopped to think about things before he did them. At least, that’s what he would be thinking if he wasn’t so damn drunk.
As far as ideas go, this probably wasn’t the best one Jared’s ever had.
But Vancouver is really fucking cold in the winter and thanks to the snow storm going on outside, there hasn’t been electricity for hours. Without electricity there’s no heater and no way to spend the time, so ‘let’s finish the tequila and light the fireplace’ seemed like a two-birds, one-stone kind of situation.
Now Jared just wants to know who is going to be the responsible adult if the blaze somehow spreads. He turns his head to the left and watches the flames dance, wondering if maybe sitting this close to a fire with this much alcohol in his system is asking for trouble.
“Hey, Jensen?”
“Mmm,” says Jensen.
“I don’t want to get set on fire. Not ever.”
“That’s a valid concern, Jared. I think that would probably suck.”
“Okay. Glad we agree.”
Jensen shifts a little next to him. “But it’s so warm.”
“Dude, that’s two times in a row we agree.”
“Uncanny.” Jensen startles, then makes an upset sound. “Your dog is licking me again, man.”
“He’s just saying ‘hello’,” Jared defends.
“Make him go away.” Jensen tries to push Harley’s face away from him, but he’s too drunk to be effective, and Harley seems to take it as a sign Jensen wants to play with him.
“I can’t. I don’t speak Dog and Harley doesn’t speak Human. Sadie’s the one who knows other languages. She’s really smart.”
“Tell Sadie to tell him, then.”
Jared frowns. “I don’t think she speaks English. German, though. Can you speak German?”
“Nein,” Jensen replies, trying to keep a straight face but immediately cracking up. “Why does your dog speak every language except the one that’ll be useful?”
“I don’t know, come to think of it. That was kind of rude.” Jared sits up and looks down at Sadie, who is curled at his feet calmly. “Why, Sadie, why?”
She wags her tail when she realizes she’s being addressed and it hits Jensen’s leg repeatedly.
“Can’t you make them go away? For me?”
Jared frowns. “I could. But they get so scared during storms. You know how rescue dogs are.”
“Oh, that’s lovely. Now I look like an asshole.”
“Jensen, you are-”
“Can it, Padalecki.”
“If you can still pronounce my last name, you didn’t have enough tequila.”
“Trust me,” Jensen says. “I had enough.”
“I don’t think we have any left, anyway.”
Jared directs his attention to the coffee table just a foot away from where they’re laying on the floor. Glaring down at him are all of the reminders of how Jared and Jensen ended up here: a box of salt, an empty bottle of Jose Cuervo, and a few decimated pieces of lime.
Oh, awesome, Jared thinks. I’ve been needing to get rid of those limes.
Jensen draws in closer to Jared, a few fingers slipping under his shirt. “You’re warm,” he says.
Jared freezes at the touch, curses himself because he should have realized this would happen. He’d forgotten how handsy Jensen gets when he’s drunk, hasn’t gotten drunk with his best friend since before he realized he wanted Jensen to be more than that.
Now it’s not funny anymore. Jared can’t tease Jensen for the fact that he goes from being Mr. Personal Space to, well, to acting like Jared usually does in the time it takes him to down a few beers. All Jared can do is try to think of every unattractive thing he’s ever seen and not the fact that Jensen’s fingers are moving up his shirt and Jensen has no idea what he’s doing.
He sits up on his elbows and shakes his head. “I think I should go to bed.”
The dogs hear the keyword ‘bed’ and immediately take off, running to take their places on his mattress. Jared attempts to follow them, but Jensen’s hand spreads out on his chest and tries to force him down. Jared could easily resist the touch and Jensen wouldn’t be upset, but the floor feels magnetic right now and there’s too much of him that would rather torture itself by taking whatever Jensen will give him than be sensible and leave.
“Stay,” Jensen says. “Just a little longer. I’m not tired yet.”
“Okay,” Jared agrees, sinking to the floor.
Badideabadideabadidea, screams the part of his brain that’s still working.
“Wow,” Jared says. “Even my thought process is slurring.”
Jensen chuckles. “You’re funny. Sometimes.”
“What about the rest of the time?”
“Sweaty,” Jensen says. “And loud.”
“Not nice,” Jared responds. He knows he should think of a rebuttal, but he’s not up to it.
“What?” Jensen asks.
“Huh?”
“You just said rebuttal out of nowhere. And then you giggled. But that’s okay, because rebuttal is a funny word.” Jensen pauses, then adds, “Rebuttal!”
Shit. Now is not the time to be saying everything that pops into your head, Jared, he tells himself.
“There are worse times,” Jensen replies.
“What’re you thinking, then?” Jared asks.
“That it’s been about 800 years since I got laid, and I really fucking miss it.”
“Wow. So that was direct.”
“You asked.”
“You could’ve declined.”
“You know, I think you’re the only person I’ve ever met who has a better vocabulary drunk than sober.”
“Cognitive,” Jared replies. “Extraneous. Jalopy. Inebriated? That’s a big word, and I can use it in a sentence. I’m feeling a little inebriated right now. Palindrome. Antagonize.”
Jensen starts laughing, and Jared keeps throwing out any bullshit word that pops into his head, because any distraction is better than thinking about the fact that Jensen just basically announced-
“I’m horny.”
Just literally announced that.
“Sounds like a personal problem.”
“It is a personal problem. Deeply personal.”
Jensen moves the hand he isn’t using to torture Jared down, between his legs, rubbing his dick through his pants.
“I’m gonna go to bed and leave you two alone,” Jared says, trying to sit up again.
“Stop,” Jensen says. “Don’t.”
“I, Jensen, you’re…”
“It’s been even longer for you, hasn’t it?”
Jared swallows hard. He hasn’t gone on a date or picked a girl up at a cast party since it hit him that he isn’t going to get what he wants from them, because all he wants is Jensen. He tries to calculate exactly how long that means but immediately gives up.
“801 years.”
“That’s such a long time,” Jensen says sadly. “We should do something about that.”
“Yeah, Jen. But there aren’t really very many chicks here to pick up.”
“No, there aren’t,” he agrees. “Just you. And then there’s me. There’s you and me.”
“We’ll go out tomorrow if we’re not snowed in.”
“But until then.”
“It’s just a day, dude. You made it a few weeks, you’ll make it another day.”
“There’s us,” Jensen continues, like Jared hadn’t spoken. “We’ll do.”
Jensen tilts his head up to look at Jared and Jared’s brain nearly shuts down. His lips are wet and shiny and his hair is mussed and fuck, that’s it. Jared’s dick immediately goes hard and Jensen pushes his body against Jared’s side. Also hard.
Told you it was a bad idea, Jared’s brain says.
“Oh, like you’re so great,” he snaps at it.
Jensen laughs, moving very suddenly until he’s straddling Jared. He must think the comment was directed at him, because he smiles a cocky Dean Winchester smile and leans down to whisper right against Jared’s ear. “I’ll show you.”
He pulls his thin grey t-shirt off in one clean motion. Jared just blinks up at him, mind completely incapable of processing what’s going on.
“Your turn,” Jensen says, tugging at the bottom of Jared’s shirt. Jared shivers and doesn’t move to obey, so Jensen starts pushing it up out of the way, hands on his bare chest again.
“Jensen.” Jared groans and thrusts up; Jensen takes it as encouragement. He leans down and kisses Jared, just a brief touching of lips, hardly enough for Jared to taste the tequila on Jensen’s tongue, but more than enough to send him completely over the edge.
He flips Jensen off of him, and Jensen lands on his back. He looks up at Jared, eyes wide. “You mad?” he asks.
Jared shakes his head for a second before he crashes down and pushes his tongue into Jensen’s mouth, deep and hungry and almost animalistic.
When he pulls away, Jensen smiles at him stupidly, reaches a hand up, fisting it in Jared’s hair and trying to pull him back down into another kiss. Jared doesn’t let him, though. He looks down at Jensen, lets his eyes completely take in all the pale, freckled skin under him.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Jared says, because his mouth never has known when to stop.
Jensen laughs. “You don’t have to butter me up, Jared. I’m feeling pretty buttered already.”
Jared ignores it, moves down immediately, fighting to get Jensen’s jeans open and fuck, who needs three fucking buttons on their jeans, anyway? It’s like Jensen’s never heard of zippers.
“I can too use zippers,” Jensen says petulantly before gasping as Jared drags his pants and underwear down and reaches for his dick.
He strokes it slowly, watching Jensen closely, trying to memorize exactly the way his breath hitches and his body arches up. Jared’s face draws closer to him and he licks his lips, meeting Jensen’s eyes.
“Is this what you want?” Jared asks, because he’s obviously a masochist. He wants Jensen to say yes and this is what I’ve always wanted, but of course that’s not what happens.
“Yeah. Suck me,” Jensen practically begs. “I mean, if you want. I want.”
Worst idea yet! screams the annoying little voice in Jared’s head and Jared pulls away, about ready to listen to it for the first time all night. But Jensen sees it and looks disappointed and Jared can’t.
He leans back down, wrapping his lips around the head of Jensen’s cock, keeping his fingers curled around the base, stroking what he can’t take as he pushes his mouth down the shaft.
Jensen moans. Jensen moans Jared’s name, over and over, and Jared nearly chokes himself trying to take more, make it better for him, anything to hear Jensen say his name like that, louder and louder and louder.
Jared doesn’t know if it’s a long time or not before he pulls away, Jensen’s come on his lips, and stares at his best friend, still breathing too hard, body shaking, and looking at Jared with wide-blown eyes. It didn’t feel like long enough.
“Hey,” Jensen says, sitting up. He touches Jared’s cheek and Jared closes his eyes. Jensen’s voice is warm and content when he continues, “Lie down, Jay.”
Jared nods, will do pretty much anything Jensen asks him to do right now, and Jensen carefully mounts him again, much slower this time. Almost sweet. He opens just the top of Jared’s jeans and reaches in, working his hand on Jared’s cock without even looking at it.
“I’m gonna ride you,” he says. “I’m gonna let you fuck me.”
Jared thrusts into his fist and Jensen just keeps promising all the filthy things he’s going to do, doesn’t actually move to do any of them, but it doesn’t matter. Jared’s so fucking close and Jensen’s getting him so hot that the friction he’s getting as Jensen touches him is more than enough to bring him off.
“Mine,” Jensen murmurs. “It’s supposed to be mine.”
Jared doesn’t actually know what that means, knows there’s a whole conversation going on in Jensen’s head and he’s only getting the bits that slip out. But he lets himself pretend that Jensen means that Jared is his, because Jensen wants him to be. He closes his eyes and whispers Jensen’s name and shoots hot white strings that hit the parts of Jared’s chest that Jensen had exposed and begin to cool on his skin.
Should clean that up, Jared thinks. He’s distantly aware of Jensen resting his head on his shoulder before he’s out completely.
_______________________________________________________________
A few hours later, Jared wakes up. The sun is in his face, which is what happens when you fall asleep on the floor in the living room instead of in your nice, curtained bedroom. His head feels like it’s been bombed, he’s freezing, something is squishing him.
He looks down. His dick is out, his chest is covered with dry come, and Jensen is snoring lightly, arms wrapped around him. Everything that happened the night before slams into him like a semi-truck and Jared can’t help the groan he lets out.
Jensen stirs. Which, fuck. If Jared had kept his mouth shut, he could have snuck off in the hopes that Jensen would black out or at least pretend he did. Instead he blinks his eyes open and immediately his eyes move from Jared’s chest to the look of abject terror Jared’s sure is on his face.
He smacks his lips and yawns. “Morning.”
Jared is taken by surprise by how calm it is, so he replies on instinct. “Um…good morning?”
Jensen sits up and laughs. “Man, I’m still drunk from last night.”
Jared feels his stomach sink. He definitely isn’t, which means he was less drunk at the time, which means he’s the one who should have known better.
“Oh,” is all he says.
Jensen makes a face, looking at his arm and the mess he’d slept in. “This is gross,” he says.
“Yeah,” Jared agrees, hoping they’re only talking about the sticky part and not the whole situtation. “We should shower.”
Jensen laughs. “You’re expecting way too much from me,” he says.
“I’ll help you, Jensen, come on.”
Jensen stands after Jared does, accepting a hand up. His steps are a little wobbly, but Jared knows he’s not drunk enough to have a problem standing or walking up the stairs on his own. When they get to the bathroom, Jared starts the water and turns to leave, but Jensen puts a hand on his shoulder.
“We should both go in at once.”
“What?”
“We should. The hot water won’t last that long, and you’ll have to wait around, and, I mean, why not, right? It’s not like we have anything to be modest about at this point. We’ve both, uh. I mean, well, we’ve seen what there is to see, so let’s not be impractical, right?”
“No, that’s fine,” Jared says. “I’ll take my chance with the hot water.”
Jensen frowns. “What if I die?”
“What?”
“What if my drunk ass slips? And I break my hip or something. And then I drown because I can’t get up. And you know, for the rest of your life you know, that it is your fault that I am dead.”
“Jensen, I can’t even begin to point out all the reasons why that was a stupid argument.”
He takes Jared’s wrists into his hands anyway and leads him forward. Jensen’s still naked, but Jared never really was, so Jensen bends down to slip his pants off and Jared gives up and pulls his shirt over his head.
“Wasn’t so hard, was it?” Jensen asks, stepping into the tub and the hot stream from the shower.
Jared can’t leave now, not when the water is dripping off Jensen and clinging to his eyelashes and all Jared wants to know is Why? If Jensen had just let him leave, he wouldn’t be stuck looking at this and wanting it and knowing how horrible he would be if he tried touching Jensen right now. Last night, he really couldn’t help himself. Now he can, he just doesn’t want to.
Jensen waits for Jared to join him with an impatient look. Jared tells himself Jensen doesn’t know, can’t know, how Jared feels about him, because if he did, this would be cruel. And Jensen may have his bitchy days, may like to act unpleasant to keep people at a safe distance, but deep down, he’s kind. He’s always been kind to Jared. He wouldn’t do this to Jared.
“Your head’ll feel better with the water,” Jensen says, stepping aside so Jared can take his spot in the direct line of the shower’s spray.
Jared steps forward, closing his eyes. It does work, makes his stomach calm down slightly, too. He lets himself relax and almost forgets Jensen’s there until there are hands on his back, rubbing soap down his spine. Jared turns to face Jensen, and Jensen’s looking at him with the same heated intensity he’d had last night.
“I still owe you,” he says.
Jared shakes his head. “No, you don’t.”
Jensen ignores it, falls to his knees right there. Jared hears the splash of the water pooling at their feet and the visual of Jensen like that nearly makes his knees give out.
Jensen reaches for him, puts one hand on his hip and is about to wrap the other around his cock when Jared stops him.
“Jensen, no.”
“Why not? You want it.”
“It doesn’t matter. You’re drunk.”
“I’m not that drunk, Jay. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t be,” he looks around and lets the situation finish the sentence for him.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m not taking advantage of you.”
“Jared, please let me. Please.”
Jared somehow finds the strength to shake his head again, coaxes Jensen back onto his feet. “Trust me, it’s not a good idea, okay?”
Jensen’s bottom lip sticks out slightly and Jared nearly leans forward to suck it into his mouth, but he stops himself. Instead he reaches for the shampoo on the shelf behind Jensen’s head and squeezes some into his palm. Jensen closes his eyes and leans in as Jared works his fingers through Jensen’s hair until the lather has rinsed out completely.
They both finish cleaning themselves in quiet. Jared helps Jensen out of the shower, watches him towel dry, chooses the pajamas he stumbles into, forces a glass of water and a few Tylenol on him, and leads him to bed-not because Jensen needs the help, but because Jensen is accepting it. He smiles and rolls onto his side as Jared arranges the comforter around him and his breath evens out after a few moments.
_______________________________________________________________
When Jensen rises for the day, he is frustratingly calm on the subject of…well, on The Subject. He greets Jared the same way he does every other morning, smiling when Jared turns to put a fresh pot of coffee to brew.
“Bet I feel more like shit right now than you do,” he says playfully, heading for the medicine cabinet.
“At least you got more than a few hours of sleep,” Jared says.
Jensen’s lips turn down as he turns to face Jared. “You didn’t get back to sleep?”
Jared shakes his head just once.
“Sorry,” says Jensen.
“So about last night…”
“Yeah, let’s not talk about it, okay?”
“What?”
“Look, it happened. It’s over now. Let’s just move on.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I’m totally serious. What’s there to talk about? We were drunk and horny, we fucked. I’m a consenting adult, you’re a consenting adult. End of story. It was kind of nice, and I, for one, don’t regret it.”
“I’m not asking you to regret it, I just want to know if it changes-”
“See? That’s exactly why I don’t want to talk about it. It doesn’t change anything, Jared. You were completely sloshed and you wanted to get off. You don’t need to have a crisis and reevaluate your sexuality or try to see if something has to be different. Nothing has to be different. It’s not a big deal.”
“It’s not a big deal?”
“Yeah, Jared. It was just sex.”
Jared shakes his head. “No, Jensen, it is a big deal. It is a big deal because I’m in love with you.”
Jensen’s eyes widen and his mouth drops open a little and Jared knows this is where he’s supposed to stop. Jensen will still love him, in the way Jensen does, even knowing Jared has less-than-platonic feelings for him. Sure, it might be awkward at first, which is why Jared’s kept it from him all these months, but he’ll get used to it. Or he would, if Jared knew when to keep his mouth shut. Instead he keeps going, says everything that pops into his head, and by the time he’s done, he doesn’t really think he’ll be able to blame Jensen if he does totally freak out on him.
“And not like, ‘Oh, he’s kind of hot, this’ll be fun.’ Or even, ‘we should get drunk and have sex more often.’ It’s more like, ‘I want to wake up next to him every morning for the rest of my life.’ So the fact that we fucked and I had no idea what it meant? Yeah, it kind of mattered. But don’t worry, because I guess I’ve got the answer I was looking for. I know what it meant for you, so I’ll just forget about...whatever I thought maybe I was allowed to think about.”
“Wow,” Jensen says slowly, letting everything Jared just said sink in.
Jared feels his face beginning to burn red. “God, sorry. I just. I’m gonna go to my room and let you think things over. And possibly never come back out.”
He turns but Jensen catches his wrist. “Wait.”
Jared faces him, waiting for Jensen to continue.
“I’m sorry I said it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t know.”
“Well, now you do.”
“If I’d known, Jare.”
“What? You wouldn’t have let me get you drunk and take advantage of you? Wasn’t really your fault.”
“Jared, you sucked my dick, I don’t really think there’s a way to do that while taking advantage of someone.”
“And you are wrong.”
“Okay, but here’s my counter,” Jensen says. He steps forward, cupping Jared’s face between his hands. “You could never take advantage of me.” Jensen presses forward then, kisses Jared without a drop of alcohol in his system to excuse it.
“Jensen?” Jared asks, reluctantly breaking the contact.
“I’ve been waiting years to hear you say that, Jared.” Jensen tries to rush forward again, but Jared stops him.
“But you didn’t wanna talk about it. You looked upset.”
“I didn’t want to know if you were having second thoughts.” He breaks off and laughs a little bitterly, scratching the back of his neck. “I thought I took advantage of you. That’s why I didn’t wanna talk about it. I was ashamed. But I couldn’t-I wasn’t thinking. God, I just wanted you so bad. Didn’t think I’d ever get another chance.”
Jared palms Jensen’s face and leans in for a quick kiss, mostly just to shut him up.
“Stupid, drunk idiots,” he mumbles into Jensen’s mouth. He feels Jensen grinning back as he responds to the kiss.
After a few moments, Jensen pulls away and presses his forehead to Jared’s, rubbing the tip of his nose on Jared’s.
Jared laughs. “Eskimo kisses, really Jensen?”
“Shh,” Jensen says, nuzzling closer. “Don’t talk. You ruin everything when you talk.”
Jared decides to take Jensen’s friendly advice and finds a better way to keep his mouth busy.
Fandom: Real Person Fic - CW
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Genre: Schmoop, Flangst, Smut
Rating: NC-17 for Explicit Sexual Content (Drunken First Time), Language, and Alcohol Consumption
Word Count: 3,858
Author’s Note: Written for akintay’s birthday. She asked for: “Sam/Dean or Jared/Jensen - I love fics with lots of banter and flirting and touching. Maybe a fic where Jared and Jensen are co-workers. There is a slight possibility that I like fics where the boys take showers together, or bathe together, or are in the pool together…yeah.” I decided to go Non-AU…which kind of counts as making the boys co-workers? I know you like Non-AU, so hopefully you won’t mind! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANNA!! <3333 I hope it’s a really great one and that you enjoy this story. Sorry this is a little late, I had to post a bigbang on your birthday and I wanted to give the people watching my writing comm a chance to recover. Thank you to my beautiful elvensapphire for looking it over for me! ETA 5/7/2013: Thanks to eos_rose, you can now read this in epub format here.
Summary: Non-AU: This is one of those times when Jared really wishes he stopped to think about things before he did them. At least, that’s what he would be thinking if he wasn’t so damn drunk.
As far as ideas go, this probably wasn’t the best one Jared’s ever had.
But Vancouver is really fucking cold in the winter and thanks to the snow storm going on outside, there hasn’t been electricity for hours. Without electricity there’s no heater and no way to spend the time, so ‘let’s finish the tequila and light the fireplace’ seemed like a two-birds, one-stone kind of situation.
Now Jared just wants to know who is going to be the responsible adult if the blaze somehow spreads. He turns his head to the left and watches the flames dance, wondering if maybe sitting this close to a fire with this much alcohol in his system is asking for trouble.
“Hey, Jensen?”
“Mmm,” says Jensen.
“I don’t want to get set on fire. Not ever.”
“That’s a valid concern, Jared. I think that would probably suck.”
“Okay. Glad we agree.”
Jensen shifts a little next to him. “But it’s so warm.”
“Dude, that’s two times in a row we agree.”
“Uncanny.” Jensen startles, then makes an upset sound. “Your dog is licking me again, man.”
“He’s just saying ‘hello’,” Jared defends.
“Make him go away.” Jensen tries to push Harley’s face away from him, but he’s too drunk to be effective, and Harley seems to take it as a sign Jensen wants to play with him.
“I can’t. I don’t speak Dog and Harley doesn’t speak Human. Sadie’s the one who knows other languages. She’s really smart.”
“Tell Sadie to tell him, then.”
Jared frowns. “I don’t think she speaks English. German, though. Can you speak German?”
“Nein,” Jensen replies, trying to keep a straight face but immediately cracking up. “Why does your dog speak every language except the one that’ll be useful?”
“I don’t know, come to think of it. That was kind of rude.” Jared sits up and looks down at Sadie, who is curled at his feet calmly. “Why, Sadie, why?”
She wags her tail when she realizes she’s being addressed and it hits Jensen’s leg repeatedly.
“Can’t you make them go away? For me?”
Jared frowns. “I could. But they get so scared during storms. You know how rescue dogs are.”
“Oh, that’s lovely. Now I look like an asshole.”
“Jensen, you are-”
“Can it, Padalecki.”
“If you can still pronounce my last name, you didn’t have enough tequila.”
“Trust me,” Jensen says. “I had enough.”
“I don’t think we have any left, anyway.”
Jared directs his attention to the coffee table just a foot away from where they’re laying on the floor. Glaring down at him are all of the reminders of how Jared and Jensen ended up here: a box of salt, an empty bottle of Jose Cuervo, and a few decimated pieces of lime.
Oh, awesome, Jared thinks. I’ve been needing to get rid of those limes.
Jensen draws in closer to Jared, a few fingers slipping under his shirt. “You’re warm,” he says.
Jared freezes at the touch, curses himself because he should have realized this would happen. He’d forgotten how handsy Jensen gets when he’s drunk, hasn’t gotten drunk with his best friend since before he realized he wanted Jensen to be more than that.
Now it’s not funny anymore. Jared can’t tease Jensen for the fact that he goes from being Mr. Personal Space to, well, to acting like Jared usually does in the time it takes him to down a few beers. All Jared can do is try to think of every unattractive thing he’s ever seen and not the fact that Jensen’s fingers are moving up his shirt and Jensen has no idea what he’s doing.
He sits up on his elbows and shakes his head. “I think I should go to bed.”
The dogs hear the keyword ‘bed’ and immediately take off, running to take their places on his mattress. Jared attempts to follow them, but Jensen’s hand spreads out on his chest and tries to force him down. Jared could easily resist the touch and Jensen wouldn’t be upset, but the floor feels magnetic right now and there’s too much of him that would rather torture itself by taking whatever Jensen will give him than be sensible and leave.
“Stay,” Jensen says. “Just a little longer. I’m not tired yet.”
“Okay,” Jared agrees, sinking to the floor.
Badideabadideabadidea, screams the part of his brain that’s still working.
“Wow,” Jared says. “Even my thought process is slurring.”
Jensen chuckles. “You’re funny. Sometimes.”
“What about the rest of the time?”
“Sweaty,” Jensen says. “And loud.”
“Not nice,” Jared responds. He knows he should think of a rebuttal, but he’s not up to it.
“What?” Jensen asks.
“Huh?”
“You just said rebuttal out of nowhere. And then you giggled. But that’s okay, because rebuttal is a funny word.” Jensen pauses, then adds, “Rebuttal!”
Shit. Now is not the time to be saying everything that pops into your head, Jared, he tells himself.
“There are worse times,” Jensen replies.
“What’re you thinking, then?” Jared asks.
“That it’s been about 800 years since I got laid, and I really fucking miss it.”
“Wow. So that was direct.”
“You asked.”
“You could’ve declined.”
“You know, I think you’re the only person I’ve ever met who has a better vocabulary drunk than sober.”
“Cognitive,” Jared replies. “Extraneous. Jalopy. Inebriated? That’s a big word, and I can use it in a sentence. I’m feeling a little inebriated right now. Palindrome. Antagonize.”
Jensen starts laughing, and Jared keeps throwing out any bullshit word that pops into his head, because any distraction is better than thinking about the fact that Jensen just basically announced-
“I’m horny.”
Just literally announced that.
“Sounds like a personal problem.”
“It is a personal problem. Deeply personal.”
Jensen moves the hand he isn’t using to torture Jared down, between his legs, rubbing his dick through his pants.
“I’m gonna go to bed and leave you two alone,” Jared says, trying to sit up again.
“Stop,” Jensen says. “Don’t.”
“I, Jensen, you’re…”
“It’s been even longer for you, hasn’t it?”
Jared swallows hard. He hasn’t gone on a date or picked a girl up at a cast party since it hit him that he isn’t going to get what he wants from them, because all he wants is Jensen. He tries to calculate exactly how long that means but immediately gives up.
“801 years.”
“That’s such a long time,” Jensen says sadly. “We should do something about that.”
“Yeah, Jen. But there aren’t really very many chicks here to pick up.”
“No, there aren’t,” he agrees. “Just you. And then there’s me. There’s you and me.”
“We’ll go out tomorrow if we’re not snowed in.”
“But until then.”
“It’s just a day, dude. You made it a few weeks, you’ll make it another day.”
“There’s us,” Jensen continues, like Jared hadn’t spoken. “We’ll do.”
Jensen tilts his head up to look at Jared and Jared’s brain nearly shuts down. His lips are wet and shiny and his hair is mussed and fuck, that’s it. Jared’s dick immediately goes hard and Jensen pushes his body against Jared’s side. Also hard.
Told you it was a bad idea, Jared’s brain says.
“Oh, like you’re so great,” he snaps at it.
Jensen laughs, moving very suddenly until he’s straddling Jared. He must think the comment was directed at him, because he smiles a cocky Dean Winchester smile and leans down to whisper right against Jared’s ear. “I’ll show you.”
He pulls his thin grey t-shirt off in one clean motion. Jared just blinks up at him, mind completely incapable of processing what’s going on.
“Your turn,” Jensen says, tugging at the bottom of Jared’s shirt. Jared shivers and doesn’t move to obey, so Jensen starts pushing it up out of the way, hands on his bare chest again.
“Jensen.” Jared groans and thrusts up; Jensen takes it as encouragement. He leans down and kisses Jared, just a brief touching of lips, hardly enough for Jared to taste the tequila on Jensen’s tongue, but more than enough to send him completely over the edge.
He flips Jensen off of him, and Jensen lands on his back. He looks up at Jared, eyes wide. “You mad?” he asks.
Jared shakes his head for a second before he crashes down and pushes his tongue into Jensen’s mouth, deep and hungry and almost animalistic.
When he pulls away, Jensen smiles at him stupidly, reaches a hand up, fisting it in Jared’s hair and trying to pull him back down into another kiss. Jared doesn’t let him, though. He looks down at Jensen, lets his eyes completely take in all the pale, freckled skin under him.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Jared says, because his mouth never has known when to stop.
Jensen laughs. “You don’t have to butter me up, Jared. I’m feeling pretty buttered already.”
Jared ignores it, moves down immediately, fighting to get Jensen’s jeans open and fuck, who needs three fucking buttons on their jeans, anyway? It’s like Jensen’s never heard of zippers.
“I can too use zippers,” Jensen says petulantly before gasping as Jared drags his pants and underwear down and reaches for his dick.
He strokes it slowly, watching Jensen closely, trying to memorize exactly the way his breath hitches and his body arches up. Jared’s face draws closer to him and he licks his lips, meeting Jensen’s eyes.
“Is this what you want?” Jared asks, because he’s obviously a masochist. He wants Jensen to say yes and this is what I’ve always wanted, but of course that’s not what happens.
“Yeah. Suck me,” Jensen practically begs. “I mean, if you want. I want.”
Worst idea yet! screams the annoying little voice in Jared’s head and Jared pulls away, about ready to listen to it for the first time all night. But Jensen sees it and looks disappointed and Jared can’t.
He leans back down, wrapping his lips around the head of Jensen’s cock, keeping his fingers curled around the base, stroking what he can’t take as he pushes his mouth down the shaft.
Jensen moans. Jensen moans Jared’s name, over and over, and Jared nearly chokes himself trying to take more, make it better for him, anything to hear Jensen say his name like that, louder and louder and louder.
Jared doesn’t know if it’s a long time or not before he pulls away, Jensen’s come on his lips, and stares at his best friend, still breathing too hard, body shaking, and looking at Jared with wide-blown eyes. It didn’t feel like long enough.
“Hey,” Jensen says, sitting up. He touches Jared’s cheek and Jared closes his eyes. Jensen’s voice is warm and content when he continues, “Lie down, Jay.”
Jared nods, will do pretty much anything Jensen asks him to do right now, and Jensen carefully mounts him again, much slower this time. Almost sweet. He opens just the top of Jared’s jeans and reaches in, working his hand on Jared’s cock without even looking at it.
“I’m gonna ride you,” he says. “I’m gonna let you fuck me.”
Jared thrusts into his fist and Jensen just keeps promising all the filthy things he’s going to do, doesn’t actually move to do any of them, but it doesn’t matter. Jared’s so fucking close and Jensen’s getting him so hot that the friction he’s getting as Jensen touches him is more than enough to bring him off.
“Mine,” Jensen murmurs. “It’s supposed to be mine.”
Jared doesn’t actually know what that means, knows there’s a whole conversation going on in Jensen’s head and he’s only getting the bits that slip out. But he lets himself pretend that Jensen means that Jared is his, because Jensen wants him to be. He closes his eyes and whispers Jensen’s name and shoots hot white strings that hit the parts of Jared’s chest that Jensen had exposed and begin to cool on his skin.
Should clean that up, Jared thinks. He’s distantly aware of Jensen resting his head on his shoulder before he’s out completely.
_______________________________________________________________
A few hours later, Jared wakes up. The sun is in his face, which is what happens when you fall asleep on the floor in the living room instead of in your nice, curtained bedroom. His head feels like it’s been bombed, he’s freezing, something is squishing him.
He looks down. His dick is out, his chest is covered with dry come, and Jensen is snoring lightly, arms wrapped around him. Everything that happened the night before slams into him like a semi-truck and Jared can’t help the groan he lets out.
Jensen stirs. Which, fuck. If Jared had kept his mouth shut, he could have snuck off in the hopes that Jensen would black out or at least pretend he did. Instead he blinks his eyes open and immediately his eyes move from Jared’s chest to the look of abject terror Jared’s sure is on his face.
He smacks his lips and yawns. “Morning.”
Jared is taken by surprise by how calm it is, so he replies on instinct. “Um…good morning?”
Jensen sits up and laughs. “Man, I’m still drunk from last night.”
Jared feels his stomach sink. He definitely isn’t, which means he was less drunk at the time, which means he’s the one who should have known better.
“Oh,” is all he says.
Jensen makes a face, looking at his arm and the mess he’d slept in. “This is gross,” he says.
“Yeah,” Jared agrees, hoping they’re only talking about the sticky part and not the whole situtation. “We should shower.”
Jensen laughs. “You’re expecting way too much from me,” he says.
“I’ll help you, Jensen, come on.”
Jensen stands after Jared does, accepting a hand up. His steps are a little wobbly, but Jared knows he’s not drunk enough to have a problem standing or walking up the stairs on his own. When they get to the bathroom, Jared starts the water and turns to leave, but Jensen puts a hand on his shoulder.
“We should both go in at once.”
“What?”
“We should. The hot water won’t last that long, and you’ll have to wait around, and, I mean, why not, right? It’s not like we have anything to be modest about at this point. We’ve both, uh. I mean, well, we’ve seen what there is to see, so let’s not be impractical, right?”
“No, that’s fine,” Jared says. “I’ll take my chance with the hot water.”
Jensen frowns. “What if I die?”
“What?”
“What if my drunk ass slips? And I break my hip or something. And then I drown because I can’t get up. And you know, for the rest of your life you know, that it is your fault that I am dead.”
“Jensen, I can’t even begin to point out all the reasons why that was a stupid argument.”
He takes Jared’s wrists into his hands anyway and leads him forward. Jensen’s still naked, but Jared never really was, so Jensen bends down to slip his pants off and Jared gives up and pulls his shirt over his head.
“Wasn’t so hard, was it?” Jensen asks, stepping into the tub and the hot stream from the shower.
Jared can’t leave now, not when the water is dripping off Jensen and clinging to his eyelashes and all Jared wants to know is Why? If Jensen had just let him leave, he wouldn’t be stuck looking at this and wanting it and knowing how horrible he would be if he tried touching Jensen right now. Last night, he really couldn’t help himself. Now he can, he just doesn’t want to.
Jensen waits for Jared to join him with an impatient look. Jared tells himself Jensen doesn’t know, can’t know, how Jared feels about him, because if he did, this would be cruel. And Jensen may have his bitchy days, may like to act unpleasant to keep people at a safe distance, but deep down, he’s kind. He’s always been kind to Jared. He wouldn’t do this to Jared.
“Your head’ll feel better with the water,” Jensen says, stepping aside so Jared can take his spot in the direct line of the shower’s spray.
Jared steps forward, closing his eyes. It does work, makes his stomach calm down slightly, too. He lets himself relax and almost forgets Jensen’s there until there are hands on his back, rubbing soap down his spine. Jared turns to face Jensen, and Jensen’s looking at him with the same heated intensity he’d had last night.
“I still owe you,” he says.
Jared shakes his head. “No, you don’t.”
Jensen ignores it, falls to his knees right there. Jared hears the splash of the water pooling at their feet and the visual of Jensen like that nearly makes his knees give out.
Jensen reaches for him, puts one hand on his hip and is about to wrap the other around his cock when Jared stops him.
“Jensen, no.”
“Why not? You want it.”
“It doesn’t matter. You’re drunk.”
“I’m not that drunk, Jay. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t be,” he looks around and lets the situation finish the sentence for him.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m not taking advantage of you.”
“Jared, please let me. Please.”
Jared somehow finds the strength to shake his head again, coaxes Jensen back onto his feet. “Trust me, it’s not a good idea, okay?”
Jensen’s bottom lip sticks out slightly and Jared nearly leans forward to suck it into his mouth, but he stops himself. Instead he reaches for the shampoo on the shelf behind Jensen’s head and squeezes some into his palm. Jensen closes his eyes and leans in as Jared works his fingers through Jensen’s hair until the lather has rinsed out completely.
They both finish cleaning themselves in quiet. Jared helps Jensen out of the shower, watches him towel dry, chooses the pajamas he stumbles into, forces a glass of water and a few Tylenol on him, and leads him to bed-not because Jensen needs the help, but because Jensen is accepting it. He smiles and rolls onto his side as Jared arranges the comforter around him and his breath evens out after a few moments.
_______________________________________________________________
When Jensen rises for the day, he is frustratingly calm on the subject of…well, on The Subject. He greets Jared the same way he does every other morning, smiling when Jared turns to put a fresh pot of coffee to brew.
“Bet I feel more like shit right now than you do,” he says playfully, heading for the medicine cabinet.
“At least you got more than a few hours of sleep,” Jared says.
Jensen’s lips turn down as he turns to face Jared. “You didn’t get back to sleep?”
Jared shakes his head just once.
“Sorry,” says Jensen.
“So about last night…”
“Yeah, let’s not talk about it, okay?”
“What?”
“Look, it happened. It’s over now. Let’s just move on.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I’m totally serious. What’s there to talk about? We were drunk and horny, we fucked. I’m a consenting adult, you’re a consenting adult. End of story. It was kind of nice, and I, for one, don’t regret it.”
“I’m not asking you to regret it, I just want to know if it changes-”
“See? That’s exactly why I don’t want to talk about it. It doesn’t change anything, Jared. You were completely sloshed and you wanted to get off. You don’t need to have a crisis and reevaluate your sexuality or try to see if something has to be different. Nothing has to be different. It’s not a big deal.”
“It’s not a big deal?”
“Yeah, Jared. It was just sex.”
Jared shakes his head. “No, Jensen, it is a big deal. It is a big deal because I’m in love with you.”
Jensen’s eyes widen and his mouth drops open a little and Jared knows this is where he’s supposed to stop. Jensen will still love him, in the way Jensen does, even knowing Jared has less-than-platonic feelings for him. Sure, it might be awkward at first, which is why Jared’s kept it from him all these months, but he’ll get used to it. Or he would, if Jared knew when to keep his mouth shut. Instead he keeps going, says everything that pops into his head, and by the time he’s done, he doesn’t really think he’ll be able to blame Jensen if he does totally freak out on him.
“And not like, ‘Oh, he’s kind of hot, this’ll be fun.’ Or even, ‘we should get drunk and have sex more often.’ It’s more like, ‘I want to wake up next to him every morning for the rest of my life.’ So the fact that we fucked and I had no idea what it meant? Yeah, it kind of mattered. But don’t worry, because I guess I’ve got the answer I was looking for. I know what it meant for you, so I’ll just forget about...whatever I thought maybe I was allowed to think about.”
“Wow,” Jensen says slowly, letting everything Jared just said sink in.
Jared feels his face beginning to burn red. “God, sorry. I just. I’m gonna go to my room and let you think things over. And possibly never come back out.”
He turns but Jensen catches his wrist. “Wait.”
Jared faces him, waiting for Jensen to continue.
“I’m sorry I said it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t know.”
“Well, now you do.”
“If I’d known, Jare.”
“What? You wouldn’t have let me get you drunk and take advantage of you? Wasn’t really your fault.”
“Jared, you sucked my dick, I don’t really think there’s a way to do that while taking advantage of someone.”
“And you are wrong.”
“Okay, but here’s my counter,” Jensen says. He steps forward, cupping Jared’s face between his hands. “You could never take advantage of me.” Jensen presses forward then, kisses Jared without a drop of alcohol in his system to excuse it.
“Jensen?” Jared asks, reluctantly breaking the contact.
“I’ve been waiting years to hear you say that, Jared.” Jensen tries to rush forward again, but Jared stops him.
“But you didn’t wanna talk about it. You looked upset.”
“I didn’t want to know if you were having second thoughts.” He breaks off and laughs a little bitterly, scratching the back of his neck. “I thought I took advantage of you. That’s why I didn’t wanna talk about it. I was ashamed. But I couldn’t-I wasn’t thinking. God, I just wanted you so bad. Didn’t think I’d ever get another chance.”
Jared palms Jensen’s face and leans in for a quick kiss, mostly just to shut him up.
“Stupid, drunk idiots,” he mumbles into Jensen’s mouth. He feels Jensen grinning back as he responds to the kiss.
After a few moments, Jensen pulls away and presses his forehead to Jared’s, rubbing the tip of his nose on Jared’s.
Jared laughs. “Eskimo kisses, really Jensen?”
“Shh,” Jensen says, nuzzling closer. “Don’t talk. You ruin everything when you talk.”
Jared decides to take Jensen’s friendly advice and finds a better way to keep his mouth busy.