Real Person Fic - J2: The Ugly Duckling
Title: The Ugly Duckling
Fandom: RPF - J2
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Genre: Fluff
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,119
Author’s Note: Written as an incredibly late holiday story for kros_21 who requested: “Jared is Jensen's best friend’s baby brother. Jensen knows these new feelings could get him in trouble with his friend but that doesn't stop him to go visit his friend more often than usual...and maybe for the wrong reasons. Happy ending, please! ;D” I really hope this is what you were hoping for and that you like it! Also fits tamingthemuse prompt # 184 - Transformation. ETA 5/7/2013: Thanks to eos_rose, you can now read this in epub format here.
Summary: AU: Jared is Jensen’s best friend’s little brother. So why does he look forward to seeing Jared more than Jeff lately?
Jared has always been around. Obviously. It’s his house, too. In all fairness, it’s more Jared’s than it is Jensen’s, even if Jensen was crawling around it while Jared was still kicking around in his mama’s belly. Jensen never really paid attention to Jared. Not much, anyway. He never disliked him, the age difference was always just too big and Jeff never wanted his baby brother around. Jensen certainly didn’t want Mac following him everywhere, so he understood why Jeff got so pissy whenever he had to take Jared out.
But Jared…Jensen had always liked him in a removed way. He was nice, stupidly nice sometimes. He always agreed to do things to help Jeff and was apparently oblivious to the fact that Jeff never returned the favor. And Jared had always liked Jensen. After the one time Jensen finally told Jeff off for bullying Jared when he was 12, Jared had really liked Jensen. Jared had looked at Jensen with his big eyes starry and been even nicer to Jeff while Jensen was around so that he would let him hang out with them. Sometimes Jeff would joke about his little brother’s crush on him, but Jensen had always laughed it off. Sure, sometimes Jared would blush or run off shyly, but mostly, Jared was an outgoing kid who didn’t really seem to dislike anyone. If he liked Jensen more than most people, it was probably just because he’d always been around. Because Jensen was like a big brother only without all the sibling rivalry and he and Jared just got along well.
When Jensen left for college, Jared was still 14 and Jensen had a lot more to worry about than not seeing his best friend’s little brother as often. Hell, Jensen had to worry about not seeing his best friend. He said goodbye to Jared in a rush out the door after hugging Jeff’s parents goodbye for too long and having the silent-manly “we’ll still hang out on weekends” stare off with Jeff. If Jared seemed particularly upset, Jensen didn’t notice.
But now…well, a lot of things change in four years. Jensen feels out of place in Jeff’s house for the first time in his life-it had been a second home to him and now it’s like he’s a stranger. He and Jeff are still friends, but only “best friends” as far as the label goes. On the rare occasion Jensen had visited Jeff at school, he’d been his best friend from home and Jensen caught what it meant and he knew he did the same thing when Jeff was with him. Between different colleges and the fact that Jensen stayed in Cali getting internships or went travelling every summer, they drifted apart. Jensen was over it by now, as much as it had sucked at first. He and Jeff had been a convenience thing and once they both had new friends and new interests, that wasn’t as strong. Jensen still loved seeing Jeff. They still had fun, but it wasn’t the same. Home wasn’t the same, not his own and not Jeff’s, and this-feeling so awkward sitting on the coach he’d spent so many nights asleep on because he and Jeff had passed out watching some crap movie instead of going to bed like Mrs. Padalecki told them to just for the sake of not listening to her-it made it all hurt a little bit all over again.
Jensen was considering leaving.
“You know, you don’t have to sit there looking like you’re waiting for the doctor to call you in and tell you you’ve got herpes.”
Jensen lifted his eyes from the spot on the wall he’d been mindlessly staring at for fifteen minutes.
“Huh?”
“I just…you look like you want to die, man.”
Jensen is on the verge of asking “Who the hell are you?” when he takes a closer look at the stranger and feels as if something heavy has just been dropped on his head. It’s Jared. But it’s not the short, chubby, acne-ridden teenager Jensen had been so comfortably indifferent to when he left. He’s gone through some kind of ugly duckling transformation and this new Jared is…well, glorious. Jensen’s mouth almost waters.
“I…uh…umm.”
“Wow and I thought college was supposed to make you smarter.”
“Bite me.” Oh, shit. Jensen should probably try not to say things he means.
Jared smiles. It’s soft and warm and it reminds him of the kid who’d always brought him a new soda without being asked, only now it’s attached to over six feet of muscle and hair that is just begging to be tugged and hands that Jensen can imagine would be very useful indeed. He feels dirty. Really, really fucking dirty. But it’s impossible not to stare at this kid.
“Did Jeff get in touch with you? He’s stuck at work for an extra thirty.”
“Yeah, I got his text. But I was already here so I just let myself in. And figured I’d sit here and wait for him. Is that…I mean, that’s okay, right?”
“Yeah, of course, man. You’re still mom’s favorite son.” Jared winks playfully and Jensen’s stomach flips and then it turns because this is fucking disturbing. He tries to remember Jared as a kid because that should, theoretically, make it easier to ignore the fact that he’s now the world’s sexiest lumberjack, but Jensen can’t remember any Jared but this one. He likes this one. Or at least, his dick likes this one. Shitshitshitshitshit.
“Wanna play some Wii? I was playing Halo, but I’ve got a pretty serious collection of games if there’s something you prefer.”
Jensen hesitates.
“Or you could stay out here staring at the wall. I guess it’d be pretty lame to hang out with me, huh?”
“No, I’d really like that.”
Jensen follows Jared into his room and leaps headfirst into what is guaranteed to be a very ugly situation.
Jensen is almost disappointed when Jeff gets home 45 minutes later. Which is wrong and he knows it. But he’d been having fun with Jared, really genuinely having fun, and not just when Jared was distracted and Jensen could sneak peeks at him. Jared is funnier than Jensen remembered and smart now that he’s not a teenager and Jensen is only a little bitter that Jared is eighty times better than him at every game they try playing.
He’s having a great day until Jeff shows up and they go out and it’s so. fucking. weird. Jensen remembers why he felt so uncomfortable hanging out at Jeff’s earlier and why even just calling him and saying “I’m home, let’s hang out,” had been so daunting. They don’t have anything to talk about, they pass by their old haunts and it’s not fun anymore. Jensen just wants to get back on a fucking plane and start college all over again.
All Jensen can really think about half the time is Jared, when he’ll get to see him again, and he doesn’t think twice before asking where Jared’s going to school in the middle of Jeff talking about some girl at a party or something equally butch that Jensen can’t even fake interest in.
“Some hippie school in Cali, just like you. He’s studying English, or something gay like that.”
Jensen rolls his eyes and Jeff kind of looks sorry.
“I’m sure he’ll like it. It’s a great place to study.”
“Dude, who cares where my little brother’s going to school?”
Jensen conspicuously avoids the question.
When Jeff calls to invite him to a family dinner a few nights later, Jensen briefly considers saying no. He’s been working an internship at one of the local hospitals for nine hours straight and all he wants to do is have some of his mama’s pie, grab a beer, and sit out on the porch like an old person until he decides he’s ready to sleep.
He can hear family chaos in the background, Megan is talking excitedly to someone and Mr. and Mrs. Padalecki seem to be having a good-natured disagreement over how best to cook a potato. When he hears one of them ask for Jared’s opinion on the matter and Jared makes some smartass remark Jensen only recognizes from the snickers of the others, the word “yes” is out of his mouth before his brain even knows there’s a debate it should probably be involved in.
Jensen takes too long to dress and gets to the house fifteen minutes late which is, he swears, just because he wants to maintain the high opinion Jeff’s parents have of him. It has nothing to do with anything else. Really, nothing at all.
When he arrives he finds that the someone Megan had been chattering with was Sandy, who Jensen vaguely remembers as being Jared’s ex-girlfriend-turned-best-friend in middle school. And Jesus-there must be something in the Texas water supply nowadays that makes kids grow up to look like movie stars. Sandy had been cute as a kid, but even Jensen can appreciate that she got insanely hot. Jeff stares at her like a piece of meat and Jensen wonders if that makes his slight crush on Jared okay.
Only, Jeff was the kind of guy you wanted your daughter to bring home-at least, he knew how to fake it-and Jensen was a gay guy in Texas who would probably get a punch from Jared if he ever tried being half as straightforward as Jeff is being and, if by some miracle Jared was gay and went for it, Mr. Padalecki would probably chase him down the street with a shotgun as if he’d just gotten Megan pregnant.
After dinner, Jared offers to clear the table and because Jensen seems to have developed turrets when Jared is involved, he volunteers to help. Jeff seems to think Jensen is trying to get him time alone with Sandy and sends him a “you get 500 friend points” smile before leading her away to pick a movie for them to watch. Jensen is pretty content not to correct him.
“Thanks for helping, Jen,” Jared says, taking an armful of plates and landing them in the sink. “You really didn’t have to, you know.”
Jensen hardly manages to contain his blush at Jared’s nickname and he smiles back hoping it looks as unconcern as it isn’t.
“It’s no problem. Didn’t really wanna be around the love birds, anyway.”
Jared laughs a little. “Yeah, it’s kind of awkward, huh? Hitting on your little brother’s ex-girlfriend?”
Jensen pauses to consider if crushing on your best friend’s little brother is more or less awkward.
“I don’t think it’s that weird. I mean, he already knows she’s cool, right? And it’s not like you’re still dating her. Four years isn’t that much of an age difference.”
Jared looks at Jensen for a long time and then smiles a private smile.
“Yeah, I like that.”
Jensen is sure he imagines their fingers brushing when Jared hands him a plate to dry.
After that, Jensen spends the first two months of the summer making up reasons to go over and hang at Jeff’s. If anybody thinks it’s weird that these excuses generally end with Jensen staying the whole day (usually shacked up in Jared’s room playing video games), they don’t say anything. Eventually, Jensen stops pretending. He passes Jeff on the way in and they exchange some kind of “hey man, what’s up?” and then Jared comes out making his “I totally wasn’t expecting you,” face, Jensen replies with his “I totally wasn’t planning to come over or anything,” face, and they head back to Jared’s room immediately.
Jensen’s mostly stopped thinking about the fact that fucking Jared would be a really great time because just hanging out with him is good enough. They get each other; they click in a way Jensen and Jeff didn’t even click in their heyday. Jared is quickly becoming Jensen’s best friend ever and sure, that only makes Jensen want him more, but just having Jared around is something at least.
“How’s my cock taste?” Jared asks seriously as he passes Jensen. Jensen lets out a string of obscenities while Bowser takes a red shell and watches Yoshi pass him just before the finish line. Jensen was the Mario Kart champion at school. This was total bullshit.
“That good, huh?”
“Fuck off; at least I don’t play with fucking Yoshi.”
“Yoshi’s awesome! Don’t be bitter just because you and your overcompensation turtle got your ass kicked. Again.”
“Rematch, asshole. And not that sissy Flower Cup you like so much. One of the hard ones.”
“Wow, you must really enjoy the taste of my cock.”
“I’m gonna win this time, and then you can suck my dick.”
“Hey sure, whatever man. I get it. I mean, look at your face. That face does not look complete without a dick in there. You were doomed from birth.”
Jensen has heard enough gay face jokes in his life to be over it, even before he was out, but he still has to wonder how much Jeff has told Jared. Jensen is way past being ashamed of how he feels about Jared and is probably over being worried about how Jared’s family would react. Jensen wants Jared so much it hurts. And if Jared is trying to tell him something in return, he figures it’s worth risking whatever else would happen.
“Oh, haha. Sounds like wishful thinking to me.”
Jared freezes up for a second and looks a little sick. He actually loses the next round of Mario Kart and doesn’t even seem to care. After they finish the round, Jared says something about Jensen probably being tired of hanging out with him and Jensen takes the cue to leave. He’s been in the situation enough to recognize the discomfort of someone getting too close to guessing; half of him wants to tell Jared that it’s okay, that he’s gay, too, and that people will be much more accepting in college when he gets the hell out of Texas. But the half of him that wins out takes off before he can do anything that even resembles taking advantage of Jared’s situation.
Jensen decides to give Jared some space and he doesn’t go over or hear from him for another week. When he gets a call from Jeff’s house phone, his spirits lift a little at the thought that it’s Jared acknowledging the fact that he’s bored out of his skull without Jensen around to make feel like less of a video gamer. When he answers, it’s Jeff and he sounds pissed.
He asks Jensen to come over because they “need to talk,” Jensen agrees and heads over immediately. Jeff doesn’t bother with decorum when he sees Jensen at the door; he steps out, slams it behind him, and turns on Jensen.
“What the fuck did you do to my brother?”
“What the fuck do you mean what did I do to your brother? I didn’t do shit to your brother.”
“Oh, yeah? Because you spend a few days with him and suddenly he’s coming out to me. That’s pretty fucking suspicious.”
“Dude, it’s not contagious. I didn’t-I mean, I had no idea Jared was…”
“I meant it when I said I don’t care who you fuck and that was hard enough, man. My parents are gonna be pissed if they find out he’s a fagg-“
“Finish that and I’ll punch you.”
“Whatever. Look, he’s a kid and he’s confused, but he’s not gay. So whatever little pride speeches you’ve been giving him? Back off. I mean, what are you thinking, dude? It’s disgusting.”
“If there were anything going on with me and Jared, there wouldn’t be anything wrong with it except that his brother’s a dick. But for the last fucking time, I haven’t even told him I’m gay, okay? We were just hanging out. I didn’t fucking do anything.”
“You’re obviously having some kind of influence on him and there’s no reason for you to be hanging out with my brother, anyway. Get the fuck out of here, and don’t come back.”
Jensen wants to try and get in to talk to Jared and make sure he’s okay, but he knows he’d have to fight Jeff to get in, and this is already bad enough. He gives his friend one last disappointed look before he turns and walks back to his car.
By the time Jensen gets home, there’s another car parked outside and Jared’s sitting on the stairs outside his house looking dejected. Jensen is relieved Jared isn’t home to deal with Jeff’s mood.
“Hey,” Jared says softly.
“Hey.” Jensen sits next to Jared on the other side of the steps, careful to give Jared some space.
“I wanted to apologize. I didn’t know that Jeff was gonna take it out on you. I mean, I was kind of hoping he was going to take it a lot better than he did, but if I’d known you were…I mean, I thought maybe you were, but I wouldn’t have told him if I knew he’d take it out on you.”
“It’s fine, alright. You don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m used to it by now.”
“Naw, you’re used to pretending to be used to it by now. Can’t ever get used to this.”
Jensen knew exactly what Jared was feeling and his heart hurt a little because Jared was right.
“It gets easier.”
“Yeah, I guess. After your whole family’s done hating you.”
“Jeff took it badly when I told him, too. He’ll get over it, really, he will. And I know your parents. Ain’t a thing in the world that could make them stop caring about you.”
Jensen smiles encouragingly and surprisingly, Jared returns it.
“You know…” Jared snickers, “You were the first guy I ever had a crush on. Back when I was a kid.”
“I hope your taste has improved a bit since then,” Jensen jokes, trying to ignore that Jared had a crush on him in the past tense.
“It hasn’t.”
Jensen swallows hard and stares at the dirt in front of him, but Jared is determined to get his point across.
“You know, the place I’m going to school isn’t that far from you.”
“Yeah, I, uh, I’d noticed that.”
Jared takes Jensen’s hand and moves a little bit closer to him.
“Jensen?”
“Yeah?” He finally turns to look at Jared. He hadn’t realized just how close he’d gotten.
“Say something so I know it’s not just me here.”
Jensen doesn’t say anything. He kisses Jared instead.
[3]
Fandom: RPF - J2
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Genre: Fluff
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,119
Author’s Note: Written as an incredibly late holiday story for kros_21 who requested: “Jared is Jensen's best friend’s baby brother. Jensen knows these new feelings could get him in trouble with his friend but that doesn't stop him to go visit his friend more often than usual...and maybe for the wrong reasons. Happy ending, please! ;D” I really hope this is what you were hoping for and that you like it! Also fits tamingthemuse prompt # 184 - Transformation. ETA 5/7/2013: Thanks to eos_rose, you can now read this in epub format here.
Summary: AU: Jared is Jensen’s best friend’s little brother. So why does he look forward to seeing Jared more than Jeff lately?
Jared has always been around. Obviously. It’s his house, too. In all fairness, it’s more Jared’s than it is Jensen’s, even if Jensen was crawling around it while Jared was still kicking around in his mama’s belly. Jensen never really paid attention to Jared. Not much, anyway. He never disliked him, the age difference was always just too big and Jeff never wanted his baby brother around. Jensen certainly didn’t want Mac following him everywhere, so he understood why Jeff got so pissy whenever he had to take Jared out.
But Jared…Jensen had always liked him in a removed way. He was nice, stupidly nice sometimes. He always agreed to do things to help Jeff and was apparently oblivious to the fact that Jeff never returned the favor. And Jared had always liked Jensen. After the one time Jensen finally told Jeff off for bullying Jared when he was 12, Jared had really liked Jensen. Jared had looked at Jensen with his big eyes starry and been even nicer to Jeff while Jensen was around so that he would let him hang out with them. Sometimes Jeff would joke about his little brother’s crush on him, but Jensen had always laughed it off. Sure, sometimes Jared would blush or run off shyly, but mostly, Jared was an outgoing kid who didn’t really seem to dislike anyone. If he liked Jensen more than most people, it was probably just because he’d always been around. Because Jensen was like a big brother only without all the sibling rivalry and he and Jared just got along well.
When Jensen left for college, Jared was still 14 and Jensen had a lot more to worry about than not seeing his best friend’s little brother as often. Hell, Jensen had to worry about not seeing his best friend. He said goodbye to Jared in a rush out the door after hugging Jeff’s parents goodbye for too long and having the silent-manly “we’ll still hang out on weekends” stare off with Jeff. If Jared seemed particularly upset, Jensen didn’t notice.
But now…well, a lot of things change in four years. Jensen feels out of place in Jeff’s house for the first time in his life-it had been a second home to him and now it’s like he’s a stranger. He and Jeff are still friends, but only “best friends” as far as the label goes. On the rare occasion Jensen had visited Jeff at school, he’d been his best friend from home and Jensen caught what it meant and he knew he did the same thing when Jeff was with him. Between different colleges and the fact that Jensen stayed in Cali getting internships or went travelling every summer, they drifted apart. Jensen was over it by now, as much as it had sucked at first. He and Jeff had been a convenience thing and once they both had new friends and new interests, that wasn’t as strong. Jensen still loved seeing Jeff. They still had fun, but it wasn’t the same. Home wasn’t the same, not his own and not Jeff’s, and this-feeling so awkward sitting on the coach he’d spent so many nights asleep on because he and Jeff had passed out watching some crap movie instead of going to bed like Mrs. Padalecki told them to just for the sake of not listening to her-it made it all hurt a little bit all over again.
Jensen was considering leaving.
“You know, you don’t have to sit there looking like you’re waiting for the doctor to call you in and tell you you’ve got herpes.”
Jensen lifted his eyes from the spot on the wall he’d been mindlessly staring at for fifteen minutes.
“Huh?”
“I just…you look like you want to die, man.”
Jensen is on the verge of asking “Who the hell are you?” when he takes a closer look at the stranger and feels as if something heavy has just been dropped on his head. It’s Jared. But it’s not the short, chubby, acne-ridden teenager Jensen had been so comfortably indifferent to when he left. He’s gone through some kind of ugly duckling transformation and this new Jared is…well, glorious. Jensen’s mouth almost waters.
“I…uh…umm.”
“Wow and I thought college was supposed to make you smarter.”
“Bite me.” Oh, shit. Jensen should probably try not to say things he means.
Jared smiles. It’s soft and warm and it reminds him of the kid who’d always brought him a new soda without being asked, only now it’s attached to over six feet of muscle and hair that is just begging to be tugged and hands that Jensen can imagine would be very useful indeed. He feels dirty. Really, really fucking dirty. But it’s impossible not to stare at this kid.
“Did Jeff get in touch with you? He’s stuck at work for an extra thirty.”
“Yeah, I got his text. But I was already here so I just let myself in. And figured I’d sit here and wait for him. Is that…I mean, that’s okay, right?”
“Yeah, of course, man. You’re still mom’s favorite son.” Jared winks playfully and Jensen’s stomach flips and then it turns because this is fucking disturbing. He tries to remember Jared as a kid because that should, theoretically, make it easier to ignore the fact that he’s now the world’s sexiest lumberjack, but Jensen can’t remember any Jared but this one. He likes this one. Or at least, his dick likes this one. Shitshitshitshitshit.
“Wanna play some Wii? I was playing Halo, but I’ve got a pretty serious collection of games if there’s something you prefer.”
Jensen hesitates.
“Or you could stay out here staring at the wall. I guess it’d be pretty lame to hang out with me, huh?”
“No, I’d really like that.”
Jensen follows Jared into his room and leaps headfirst into what is guaranteed to be a very ugly situation.
Jensen is almost disappointed when Jeff gets home 45 minutes later. Which is wrong and he knows it. But he’d been having fun with Jared, really genuinely having fun, and not just when Jared was distracted and Jensen could sneak peeks at him. Jared is funnier than Jensen remembered and smart now that he’s not a teenager and Jensen is only a little bitter that Jared is eighty times better than him at every game they try playing.
He’s having a great day until Jeff shows up and they go out and it’s so. fucking. weird. Jensen remembers why he felt so uncomfortable hanging out at Jeff’s earlier and why even just calling him and saying “I’m home, let’s hang out,” had been so daunting. They don’t have anything to talk about, they pass by their old haunts and it’s not fun anymore. Jensen just wants to get back on a fucking plane and start college all over again.
All Jensen can really think about half the time is Jared, when he’ll get to see him again, and he doesn’t think twice before asking where Jared’s going to school in the middle of Jeff talking about some girl at a party or something equally butch that Jensen can’t even fake interest in.
“Some hippie school in Cali, just like you. He’s studying English, or something gay like that.”
Jensen rolls his eyes and Jeff kind of looks sorry.
“I’m sure he’ll like it. It’s a great place to study.”
“Dude, who cares where my little brother’s going to school?”
Jensen conspicuously avoids the question.
When Jeff calls to invite him to a family dinner a few nights later, Jensen briefly considers saying no. He’s been working an internship at one of the local hospitals for nine hours straight and all he wants to do is have some of his mama’s pie, grab a beer, and sit out on the porch like an old person until he decides he’s ready to sleep.
He can hear family chaos in the background, Megan is talking excitedly to someone and Mr. and Mrs. Padalecki seem to be having a good-natured disagreement over how best to cook a potato. When he hears one of them ask for Jared’s opinion on the matter and Jared makes some smartass remark Jensen only recognizes from the snickers of the others, the word “yes” is out of his mouth before his brain even knows there’s a debate it should probably be involved in.
Jensen takes too long to dress and gets to the house fifteen minutes late which is, he swears, just because he wants to maintain the high opinion Jeff’s parents have of him. It has nothing to do with anything else. Really, nothing at all.
When he arrives he finds that the someone Megan had been chattering with was Sandy, who Jensen vaguely remembers as being Jared’s ex-girlfriend-turned-best-friend in middle school. And Jesus-there must be something in the Texas water supply nowadays that makes kids grow up to look like movie stars. Sandy had been cute as a kid, but even Jensen can appreciate that she got insanely hot. Jeff stares at her like a piece of meat and Jensen wonders if that makes his slight crush on Jared okay.
Only, Jeff was the kind of guy you wanted your daughter to bring home-at least, he knew how to fake it-and Jensen was a gay guy in Texas who would probably get a punch from Jared if he ever tried being half as straightforward as Jeff is being and, if by some miracle Jared was gay and went for it, Mr. Padalecki would probably chase him down the street with a shotgun as if he’d just gotten Megan pregnant.
After dinner, Jared offers to clear the table and because Jensen seems to have developed turrets when Jared is involved, he volunteers to help. Jeff seems to think Jensen is trying to get him time alone with Sandy and sends him a “you get 500 friend points” smile before leading her away to pick a movie for them to watch. Jensen is pretty content not to correct him.
“Thanks for helping, Jen,” Jared says, taking an armful of plates and landing them in the sink. “You really didn’t have to, you know.”
Jensen hardly manages to contain his blush at Jared’s nickname and he smiles back hoping it looks as unconcern as it isn’t.
“It’s no problem. Didn’t really wanna be around the love birds, anyway.”
Jared laughs a little. “Yeah, it’s kind of awkward, huh? Hitting on your little brother’s ex-girlfriend?”
Jensen pauses to consider if crushing on your best friend’s little brother is more or less awkward.
“I don’t think it’s that weird. I mean, he already knows she’s cool, right? And it’s not like you’re still dating her. Four years isn’t that much of an age difference.”
Jared looks at Jensen for a long time and then smiles a private smile.
“Yeah, I like that.”
Jensen is sure he imagines their fingers brushing when Jared hands him a plate to dry.
After that, Jensen spends the first two months of the summer making up reasons to go over and hang at Jeff’s. If anybody thinks it’s weird that these excuses generally end with Jensen staying the whole day (usually shacked up in Jared’s room playing video games), they don’t say anything. Eventually, Jensen stops pretending. He passes Jeff on the way in and they exchange some kind of “hey man, what’s up?” and then Jared comes out making his “I totally wasn’t expecting you,” face, Jensen replies with his “I totally wasn’t planning to come over or anything,” face, and they head back to Jared’s room immediately.
Jensen’s mostly stopped thinking about the fact that fucking Jared would be a really great time because just hanging out with him is good enough. They get each other; they click in a way Jensen and Jeff didn’t even click in their heyday. Jared is quickly becoming Jensen’s best friend ever and sure, that only makes Jensen want him more, but just having Jared around is something at least.
“How’s my cock taste?” Jared asks seriously as he passes Jensen. Jensen lets out a string of obscenities while Bowser takes a red shell and watches Yoshi pass him just before the finish line. Jensen was the Mario Kart champion at school. This was total bullshit.
“That good, huh?”
“Fuck off; at least I don’t play with fucking Yoshi.”
“Yoshi’s awesome! Don’t be bitter just because you and your overcompensation turtle got your ass kicked. Again.”
“Rematch, asshole. And not that sissy Flower Cup you like so much. One of the hard ones.”
“Wow, you must really enjoy the taste of my cock.”
“I’m gonna win this time, and then you can suck my dick.”
“Hey sure, whatever man. I get it. I mean, look at your face. That face does not look complete without a dick in there. You were doomed from birth.”
Jensen has heard enough gay face jokes in his life to be over it, even before he was out, but he still has to wonder how much Jeff has told Jared. Jensen is way past being ashamed of how he feels about Jared and is probably over being worried about how Jared’s family would react. Jensen wants Jared so much it hurts. And if Jared is trying to tell him something in return, he figures it’s worth risking whatever else would happen.
“Oh, haha. Sounds like wishful thinking to me.”
Jared freezes up for a second and looks a little sick. He actually loses the next round of Mario Kart and doesn’t even seem to care. After they finish the round, Jared says something about Jensen probably being tired of hanging out with him and Jensen takes the cue to leave. He’s been in the situation enough to recognize the discomfort of someone getting too close to guessing; half of him wants to tell Jared that it’s okay, that he’s gay, too, and that people will be much more accepting in college when he gets the hell out of Texas. But the half of him that wins out takes off before he can do anything that even resembles taking advantage of Jared’s situation.
Jensen decides to give Jared some space and he doesn’t go over or hear from him for another week. When he gets a call from Jeff’s house phone, his spirits lift a little at the thought that it’s Jared acknowledging the fact that he’s bored out of his skull without Jensen around to make feel like less of a video gamer. When he answers, it’s Jeff and he sounds pissed.
He asks Jensen to come over because they “need to talk,” Jensen agrees and heads over immediately. Jeff doesn’t bother with decorum when he sees Jensen at the door; he steps out, slams it behind him, and turns on Jensen.
“What the fuck did you do to my brother?”
“What the fuck do you mean what did I do to your brother? I didn’t do shit to your brother.”
“Oh, yeah? Because you spend a few days with him and suddenly he’s coming out to me. That’s pretty fucking suspicious.”
“Dude, it’s not contagious. I didn’t-I mean, I had no idea Jared was…”
“I meant it when I said I don’t care who you fuck and that was hard enough, man. My parents are gonna be pissed if they find out he’s a fagg-“
“Finish that and I’ll punch you.”
“Whatever. Look, he’s a kid and he’s confused, but he’s not gay. So whatever little pride speeches you’ve been giving him? Back off. I mean, what are you thinking, dude? It’s disgusting.”
“If there were anything going on with me and Jared, there wouldn’t be anything wrong with it except that his brother’s a dick. But for the last fucking time, I haven’t even told him I’m gay, okay? We were just hanging out. I didn’t fucking do anything.”
“You’re obviously having some kind of influence on him and there’s no reason for you to be hanging out with my brother, anyway. Get the fuck out of here, and don’t come back.”
Jensen wants to try and get in to talk to Jared and make sure he’s okay, but he knows he’d have to fight Jeff to get in, and this is already bad enough. He gives his friend one last disappointed look before he turns and walks back to his car.
By the time Jensen gets home, there’s another car parked outside and Jared’s sitting on the stairs outside his house looking dejected. Jensen is relieved Jared isn’t home to deal with Jeff’s mood.
“Hey,” Jared says softly.
“Hey.” Jensen sits next to Jared on the other side of the steps, careful to give Jared some space.
“I wanted to apologize. I didn’t know that Jeff was gonna take it out on you. I mean, I was kind of hoping he was going to take it a lot better than he did, but if I’d known you were…I mean, I thought maybe you were, but I wouldn’t have told him if I knew he’d take it out on you.”
“It’s fine, alright. You don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m used to it by now.”
“Naw, you’re used to pretending to be used to it by now. Can’t ever get used to this.”
Jensen knew exactly what Jared was feeling and his heart hurt a little because Jared was right.
“It gets easier.”
“Yeah, I guess. After your whole family’s done hating you.”
“Jeff took it badly when I told him, too. He’ll get over it, really, he will. And I know your parents. Ain’t a thing in the world that could make them stop caring about you.”
Jensen smiles encouragingly and surprisingly, Jared returns it.
“You know…” Jared snickers, “You were the first guy I ever had a crush on. Back when I was a kid.”
“I hope your taste has improved a bit since then,” Jensen jokes, trying to ignore that Jared had a crush on him in the past tense.
“It hasn’t.”
Jensen swallows hard and stares at the dirt in front of him, but Jared is determined to get his point across.
“You know, the place I’m going to school isn’t that far from you.”
“Yeah, I, uh, I’d noticed that.”
Jared takes Jensen’s hand and moves a little bit closer to him.
“Jensen?”
“Yeah?” He finally turns to look at Jared. He hadn’t realized just how close he’d gotten.
“Say something so I know it’s not just me here.”
Jensen doesn’t say anything. He kisses Jared instead.
[3]