Been here before...
I know, I know - long time, no type. What can I say... I lurk therefore I am. ~I really should embroidered that on a pillow~. While I haven’t posted here much, I am around more on the nets at facebook and I’ve got a blog now random-ocity. Not that I’m really that more prolific there than I am here, but it does get updated more than once a eon.
So what’s new? What’d I miss? -- Babies? Husbands? Lovers? Jobs? Hobbies?
Now, enough about you all, back to me and my need to vent. I’m having to talk about this here and not over there cause there I’m sworn to secrecy on some info and there are peeps there who know the peeps (in R.L.) I’m talking about.
Long story confusing story made short - My little big sis (step, -2yrs) had a miscarriage last weekend. No one knew she was pregnant (they were waiting til the doc’s visit) and now no one but close family knows about it as B. is a v.V. private person which I totally get, especially on this subject. Well today little little sis (step, -4yrs) calls me and drops the knowledge bomb that she’s pregnant. Normally H. would’ve used a bull horn to let people in on this news (she’s a talker) but given B.’s recent trouble they’re keeping it on the down low and not telling anyone until their doc’s visit. While I’m honored that she decided to tell me (her hubby doesn’t even know I know) it’s killing me keeping this in. *BONUS* The app. isn’t for 3 weeks. ugh...
The reason why I’m saying “been here before” is cause this setup is errily similar to the one I went through a few years back with my H.S. ‘sisters’. One got pregnant, lost it. Soon after, the other one found out she was pregnant and had guilt over telling the first one the news. In that scenario it didn’t end well cause that pregnancy too ended in a miss and I while I’m very happy for H. I’ve got that nagging “been here before” feeling/fear going on right now that makes me... well scared.
*excuse me as I get irrational and egocentric*
So, last time with the H.S. ‘sisters’, I named their fetuses (peanut, tadpole), talked to their swollen bellies and bought stuff to spoil their kids with that they wouldn’t be able to use for years and it ended badly. I know my bonding exercises didn’t but the red X of death over their womb door but after it happened once and then twice, I started to wondered if I was pre-natally cursed.
And ever since I’ve keep pregnant ladies at a distance. I know I’m crazy, but if my being far away from mama’s to be keeps their babies being born then I’ll stay the distance cause the cost of disproving my therory is too much and I don’t know if I can take another niece/nephew (by blood or friendship) dying from me.
So what’s new? What’d I miss? -- Babies? Husbands? Lovers? Jobs? Hobbies?
Now, enough about you all, back to me and my need to vent. I’m having to talk about this here and not over there cause there I’m sworn to secrecy on some info and there are peeps there who know the peeps (in R.L.) I’m talking about.
Long story confusing story made short - My little big sis (step, -2yrs) had a miscarriage last weekend. No one knew she was pregnant (they were waiting til the doc’s visit) and now no one but close family knows about it as B. is a v.V. private person which I totally get, especially on this subject. Well today little little sis (step, -4yrs) calls me and drops the knowledge bomb that she’s pregnant. Normally H. would’ve used a bull horn to let people in on this news (she’s a talker) but given B.’s recent trouble they’re keeping it on the down low and not telling anyone until their doc’s visit. While I’m honored that she decided to tell me (her hubby doesn’t even know I know) it’s killing me keeping this in. *BONUS* The app. isn’t for 3 weeks. ugh...
The reason why I’m saying “been here before” is cause this setup is errily similar to the one I went through a few years back with my H.S. ‘sisters’. One got pregnant, lost it. Soon after, the other one found out she was pregnant and had guilt over telling the first one the news. In that scenario it didn’t end well cause that pregnancy too ended in a miss and I while I’m very happy for H. I’ve got that nagging “been here before” feeling/fear going on right now that makes me... well scared.
*excuse me as I get irrational and egocentric*
So, last time with the H.S. ‘sisters’, I named their fetuses (peanut, tadpole), talked to their swollen bellies and bought stuff to spoil their kids with that they wouldn’t be able to use for years and it ended badly. I know my bonding exercises didn’t but the red X of death over their womb door but after it happened once and then twice, I started to wondered if I was pre-natally cursed.
And ever since I’ve keep pregnant ladies at a distance. I know I’m crazy, but if my being far away from mama’s to be keeps their babies being born then I’ll stay the distance cause the cost of disproving my therory is too much and I don’t know if I can take another niece/nephew (by blood or friendship) dying from me.