(no subject)
i have been eerily preoccupied with my own death lately. it occurs most when i lay down to sleep. not the most comforting thought to have when trying to rest. thing is, it isnt the idea of passing that bothers me at all. death doesnt frighten me. i have seen it before, squared off with it, and i was victorious. what bothers me is what i havent yet done. what i am looking forward to, and the idea that if death came, i wouldnt be able to complete what it is i still want to do. the people i want to spend my life with have not yet spent enough life with me. thats the part that i am afraid of. being without the people i need. so i lay in bed, and resign myself to the fact that if it is coming, when it comes, all i can do is square off with it again.