lifes like a dick. when it gets hard, fuck it
well......i havent posted in forever so i thought now would be a good time to finally start writing again and hopefully ill keep up with my entries but i dont know, we'll see i guess.
so lets start with the good stuff but before i do i just want to clarify im not a very negative person. generally im very happy and cheerful, but when i feel like writing in my journal its always when im sad, sick, or in a bad mood. thsi is why im writing today because i havent felt well in a few days so i just feel like writing all of my thoughts down. so dont think that im depressed all of the time because of my journal but anyway back to the good things this week, my classes are sweet i absolutely love them! then tomorrow i think we might get out of a bio test because of this assembly tomorrow. me and christina are becoming good friends again and im soo happy because we used to be really good friends and then we kinda just grew apart. saturday is one of my favorite days of the year Solo and Ensomble which probably sounds gay to everyone reading this but i love it. i meet new people who for the most part have the same intrests as me and i get to express myself musically in front of people. i also went to jazz for the first time this week and im coming along really well with playing the saxophone.
anyways for the bad stuff.....i hate lunch cause i dont get to sit with any of my friends well maybe thatll change tomorrow but thats just what maddie said so i dont know what everyone else will want to do and at this point i dont really care. like i dont care that im sitting with who im sitting with ya know cause its like loni and nikki and fatima but its just that i cant sit with some of my best friends and i think im might just be blowing this out of proportion a lil but i have not had the greatest week this week and this just topped it off. ive felt sick for the past 4 days too ive had a migrane and ive felt like throwing up and i come home from school and it just gets worse. then i havent talked to jerome much this week and dont get me wrong i love him sooooooo much, ive never felt about anyone the way i feel about him but i get the feeling were getting farther apart than getting closer. but i cant worry about that cause i know (at least i hope) he loves me too. i nkow i had more bad stuff but i honestly cant think of it right now cause im more focused on other things.
but back to the good stuff me n loni and fatima went to subway and had a deep conversation which was really good. and on tuesday i had my first jazz rehersal like i said before. and the best thing is tomorrow is friday. o well im in the mood to do a survey so im about to steal one off of someones journal so ill hopefully write this weekend!
<3 ash
o yeah and eric its ok babe youll do better thursday and youll show those driving people what youre made of!!! i have confidence in you!!! love ya!