(no subject)
It was absolutely freezing today, to a ridiculous standard for the way it has been the rest of the month. Anyhow, I hit up Central Park to go to strawberry fields and went to the John Lennon memorial vigil. It like, refreshed me. I needed something like that, as simplistic as it was, that was such like raw emotion of happiness and peace based on something terrible that happened to such an influential human being. It made me start considering that whole Peace Corp stage I went through last winter, and I'm starting to feel like I have a calling to do that. I just don't ever feel complete with my own life and myself and the things I start out to do. If i make a piece of art or write something or whatever I tend to destroy it 85% of the time. I'm incometent about what I say and do around people, even my best friends who I consider family more than my actual blood relatives. I at least want to try AmeriCorp maybe by Summer going into my Junior year of college if not sooner. I just want to feel harsh, raw emotion and have a complete spiritual awakening. I'm not sure I will find it there, but either way it's something I want to do. I want to jump start my life a little bit and feel something so undeniably real by seeing and helping in situations I really can't even fully imagine. My friends start coming home this week and I'm really looking forward to the next month, month and a half. College sucks, I hope I do A LOT better next semester. I butchered my first one so badly I need to back myself up if I ever want to get out of Hunter...