hypocritical
"Once upon a time she had suffered under the illusion that if only she exerted herself hard enough, the whole world would change."
read that last night, in Kim Stanley Robinson's Blue Mars. It definitely struck me, but I'm not sure yet how I feel about it.
Aside from that I have been in a bit of turmoil lately - I talk big about the way to live, yet here I am still living in a city that can't get its head out of its rear end long enough to actually let one of their public transportation plans come into existence, nor, of course, fix - or let their residents fix - the other myriad problems. So here I am, living 5 blocks north and 13 west of city center and still having to drive near everywhere I go. yeah, I could walk, or bike, and sometimes do - but in my neighborhood, thats a stupid idea at night (not that its stopped me, but ...) and well, thats all well and great for me, but anyone I may be doing something with, thats a no.
And then there is the issue of the water and the outdoors. I can't get into the harbor or the creeks for fear of very real bodily harm from untreated sewage, and worse. And I can't take my dogs to the parks because while I may have the sense not to chew on heroin needles and discarded condoms, they don't.
So the question is, do I continue living a life with a much larger impact footprint than I'd like, and hope that some of my effort for change will eventually catch on, and be miserable in the meantime, or do I stop being a hypocrite and move somewhere I can live the life I want? Like Portland ...
yeah, west coast jonesin.