Fic: Friendly Conversation (Kirk/McCoy)
Title: Friendly Conversation
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Summary: Jim has a talk with Chekov then has lunch with Scotty
Rating: Teen/PG13
Word Count: 3515
A/N: #15 in the Two Men & a Starship series. Follows Restless Night. Thank you to everyone who reads/comments!
Despite getting off to a rocky start, the morning seems to be shaping up pretty well. It’s the last day that the Enterprise is orbiting Scorching Monotony, so the science department is scrambling to get whatever last minute samples and readings that they want. It’s not normally a difficult task, but the reduction of their manpower due to humans not being able to work down there has caused a lag in productivity. Jim thinks that they’re managing pretty well, all things considered, and he’s interested in the reports he’s given from science, even if he doesn’t understand all the specifics.
The first half of his shift is spent reviewing correspondence and reading reports. The sheer amount of paperwork involved with being a captain is a lot more than Starfleet tells them. Sure, he knows about the basic reports that officers deal with, but it’s all the minutia that adds up. He’s just glad that he can get most of the information on his PADD and take it with him wherever he wants to go, even if he usually works on it in his office or on the bridge. The scary thing is that he’s getting used to it all, and actually expects a minimal amount every day that he would have thought was too much just a few months ago.
Once he finishes with the correspondence, he meets with Chekov to discuss the course that they’ll take to the designated space station to pick up supplies and then the best way to get to the colony for delivery. If their calculations are correct, which of course they are, they should be to the colony in four Terran days. That means that he’ll be released from light duty by then, hopefully, and he can go dirtside for a day. He’s looking forward to that, not only because he can spend time with Bones without the whole secretive thing, but because he can enjoy being outside and working off some excess energy.
He looks at Chekov and notices him frowning at the computer. “Everything okay?”
“Oh, yes, Keptin,” Chekov says, looking up and smiling slightly. “I am just having bad morning.”
“Did you sleep poorly?” Jim can definitely understand that since he’s running on just a couple hours of sleep that he got after sneaking into bed with Bones.
Chekov hesitates before he nods. “I was not able to sleep well. I was worried about Lieutenant Sulu’s nose, so I stayed awake in case it started bleeding again.” He ducks his head and yawns.
“He’ll be fine,” Jim tells him. “I’ve had a few broken noses in my day, and they always get better. Next time, he’ll be more cautious and get out of the way.”
“I am wery sorry that I made him bleed,” Chekov admits. “He has not been angry with me, but he was not talking much, either. We must share a room and work together, so I try to be friends with him. It is not always so easy.”
“It’ll get easier,” he says confidently. “It isn’t common to just meet someone and immediately be close friends. It usually takes some work, but the effort is rewarded, you know? I don’t think that Sulu’s going to stop being your friend because you bested in a hand-to-hand combat lesson.”
“Did it take work for you and Doctor McCoy?” Chekov asks curiously. “I have heard about your friendship being wery close during all of academy. Gaila says you have both been inseparable as long as she’s known of you. She is my first close friend, but it is never difficult talking with her. It is easy, and she calls me her little Russian brother.”
Jim isn’t really sure how they’ve gone from navigating a course to the space station to discussing different types of friendship, but Chekov seems to suffer from the same ‘thinking about too many things at once’ condition that he occasionally experiences himself. He scratches the back of his neck and considers how to honestly answer the question without considering the newest complexities in his relationship with Bones.
“My friendship with Doctor McCoy happened rather quickly, but it still takes work some times. We’re pretty different people in a lot of ways, which is probably one reason why there are people from the academy who were surprised by us being friends,” he tells him. “Hell, it even surprised me, since I hadn’t ever had a best friend before. We argue sometimes, but we get over it and remain friends.”
“You do not call him Doctor McCoy normally yet you do now,” Chekov observes. “That is curious. Does anyone else call him by the name you use? Gaila is the only one who calls me brother, but I do not call her anything other than Gaila. Should I? Would it assist my goal to become friends with Sulu if I call him by something other than his name?”
“You mean Bones? Well, that’s what I call him personally, but, professionally, he’s Doctor McCoy, so I try to remember that. I gave him that nickname before we even became proper friends, when I found out his medical specialty was orthopedic surgery. That is, he’s a bone doctor, or was before joining Starfleet. Bones seemed to suit him, and he’s been that to me ever since.” He looks at Chekov and grins. “The first time we met was on the shuttle from Iowa to Starfleet, and he puked on me. If I can get over that and still become friends with him, I think you’re okay with the whole broken nose thing without having to think about giving Sulu a nickname.”
“I think your choice of name is appropriate.” Chekov considers it. “I do not think that vomit is the same as breaking a nose,” he decides. “Sulu might not want to be friends anyway. He thinks I am an excitable child. I heard him say that to someone. Gaila tells me that I worry too much, but I want to be friends with the man I am sharing a room with. Otherwise, it is strained and wery awkward.”
“I think Gaila’s right. You can’t force a friendship, Chekov. It either happens or it doesn’t. Gaila and I are an example of that. We’ve become good friends recently despite our initial meeting being, uh, not friendship causing,” he says. “Sulu’s a good guy, and he’ll see that you’re a lot more than an excitable kid. Are you having trouble sharing a room with him?”
“Why would sex not be friendship causing?” Chekov tilts his head slightly. “I am sorry, Keptin. I should not have asked such personal questions.” He shakes his head. “There is no trouble. He is polite and keeps room tidy. We are becoming friends, I think, but then I break his nose, so I am not so sure now.”
“You do need to be careful about asking inappropriate questions to your colleagues,” Jim informs him, becoming captain for a moment. “If you aren’t certain that the other person is comfortable having a personal discussion, it is best to keep conversation general and casual.” He reaches out and claps his hand on Chekov’s shoulder. “I’m not answering as your captain now, but as a friend. Sex can be really enjoyable when there’s nothing but attraction involved. However, it becomes better when you’re sharing it with someone you know and care about.”
Chekov smiles sheepishly. “I am almost eighteen, Keptin. I do not need that kind of talk,” he admits. Jim has to laugh because, damn, this conversation is definitely not going in his captain’s log. Somehow, he doubts many people understand why he was discussing friendship and sex with his teenage navigator. “It is fun but empty without more there.”
“Yeah, it is,” he agrees, thinking about Bones and how doing nothing but kissing can arouse him more than some of his one night stands ever did. He clears his throat and arches a brow. “If you decide to have any more of that fun, you’ll go see Doctor McCoy for the necessary precautions, I trust?”
Chekov blushes and looks at the computer. “I will be careful, Keptin. I do not intend to have that fun right now. It is silly, but I want more than feeling empty.”
“That’s not silly, Chekov,” he says honestly. “It took me a lot longer to ever know the difference, much less make such a choice. You should be proud of yourself for figuring it out at seventeen when there are a lot of people out there who still don’t get it.”
“I am almost eighteen,” Chekov corrects but grins as he looks back up. “Thank you, Keptin.”
“Anytime. Only, if you want to talk about this sort of thing, don’t call me Captain, okay? It’s a little weird.” He smiles before picking up his PADD. “And on that note, I need to get back to work. Are you going to be okay about the broken nose thing?”
Chekov nods. “I will be fine. I want for me and Sulu to be friends, but, as you say, it takes time for that to happen. He does not seem wery angry at me about his nose, so I will not worry.”
“Good. Back to work,” he says before he leaves the office. As he walks away, he tries to figure out how that conversation came about. It doesn’t really matter. Chekov’s worried about sharing a room with someone who doesn’t want to become friends. That somehow led to Jim’s realization that kissing and touching Bones, even without mutual orgasm involved, is still better than the endless stream of one night stands that he’s had in the past. They were a lot of fun and gave him what he needed at the time, but maybe he just needs different things now.
When he gets to his office, he sits down, tilts his head back, and closes his eyes. He isn’t sure if he’s meeting Bones for lunch or not. After what happened this morning, neither of them said anything about it. Bones went to medical, and Jim came to the bridge. They had sort of settled things before leaving Bones’ quarters, but had they really? The argument from last night was resolved. They’d both acted stupid about it, and he respected Bones’ medical opinion, just as he acknowledged that Bones’ initial response had been as his Bones and not as his doctor.
The more important thing, in Jim’s opinion, is the way Bones pushed him away after he woke up and lost his erection. He’s really trying to be understanding about this. It isn’t easy, not when he can’t help but feel rejected despite knowing it’s not like that. What he knows and how he feels aren’t always the same thing, after all. In a way, though, he’s right. Bones can’t help his physical reaction. Jim was trying desperately to get him to come, to fix it, and that didn’t matter. He can accept that Bones’ body just isn’t working properly yet when it comes to sex. What he isn’t sure that he can keep accepting is how Bones continues to rebuff him in other ways.
It’s not about the sex, not really. It’s about how Bones would be right there trying everything the damn books say whether Jim wanted him to be or not if the situation was reversed. Yet Bones won’t let him touch, not when he’s awake. It happened yesterday, too, in his office. After his orgasm, he tried to touch Bones but couldn’t because Bones moved. Whatever is causing the impotency isn’t just beginning as CMO and training and all that stressful work stuff that started it.
Things are sort of settled on the ship now, as much as they ever really can be, and Bones knows that problem. The guide that Jim’s trying to use to help in this says that identifying the cause of the stress is a key factor in getting past the impotency thing. So, if Bones has identified that as a cause but the problem is still here, maybe there’s another cause? Jim doesn’t really know what it might be, since they’ve even had talks about their relationship and acknowledged that that’s what they’re in now, so he can’t think of any personal stress.
Bones doesn’t even seem to realize what he’s doing to Jim when he pushes him away or doesn’t let him touch. There was kissing yesterday, though, and he allowed that. He participated, and it was obvious that he was aroused even if his dick didn’t get hard. But after Jim came, Bones wouldn’t let him touch him. It doesn’t make sense, and thinking about it just puts him in a bad mood because he can’t figure out how to fix it. He’s had some various ideas, trying to follow the helpful guide of ways to make the situation better and possibly help treat it, but it’s difficult to do that much when Bones won’t really let him in to share part of the burden.
He groans and rubs his temples before he pushes away the frustration and hurt that he’s feeling right now. It can go to the back of his mind for now because thinking about it is just making him more aggravated. Bones is dealing with so much that Jim can’t make this about him and his needs and him wanting to help. He can’t turn it into something about how he’s feeling because this isn’t about him, even if it does affect him.
There’s a part of him that can sympathize with the Ex, that can understand why she maybe had trouble dealing with it if Bones acted the same way. Despite understanding the psychological impotency thing, he feels hurt and rejected when Bones pushes him away. Bones said she never even tried to understand it, which is probably one reason why Jim’s trying so hard to be supportive and give Bones what he didn’t have in the past, only Bones doesn’t seem to even want it.
A glance at the chronometer confirms that he’s spent too much time sitting here feeling sorry for himself. He focuses on his work, answering some new correspondence and providing probable arrival times for the space station now that they’ve chartered the course. When he’s done, he grabs his PADD and goes to the science department. He speaks with several different crew members about the reports he’s been reading, and tries to understand more clearly what they’re doing here. Since he was in the command program, he didn’t have to take more than basic science classes, so he’s glad that they’re able to speak in a way that he can follow along with instead of feeling stupid for not totally getting it.
Spock is down on Scorching Monotony, enjoying the chance to explore and nose around now that Jim’s back from medical leave, so he doesn’t get as much information from Science as he will later. Spock doesn’t often use terms and explanations that make it easy for Jim to understand the scientific stuff, but he’s thorough when asked questions, so it’ll let Jim have a bit more background on what they’ve been discovering. Not only does he need to know in case Starfleet asks questions, but he wants to know what’s on his ship, in case there’s any potential for accidents. So far, it seems to mostly be plants with various properties that could potentially be used in different ways, none of which are harmful or a threat to the crew, though he did find one of the damn rock creatures secured for observation. That thing had better be one of the samples they’re dropping at the space station because he doesn’t want it on his ship indefinitely.
Once he finishes with the science department, it’s time for lunch, so he heads to the mess hall. Gaila’s doing Beta shift this week, so he doesn’t see her anywhere, but he spots Scotty sitting alone, so he decides that’s where he’ll eat. Bones isn’t here, either, and maybe that’s not a bad thing. Not that Jim’s going to avoid him, not at all, but he’s spent too many hours recently thinking about relationships and impotency and rejection and all that confusing shit. Having a brief break to listen to Scotty actually doesn’t sound that bad.
He gets his food and makes his way to the table. “Anyone sitting here?” he asks as he pulls out an empty chair and sits down. “Now someone is.”
“Oi! I might have been expecting guests,” Scotty tells him.
“Then they can sit in one of the other chairs.” Jim smirks before he takes a bite of his sandwich. “How’re things in Engineering?”
“Great. My lovely lady is tired of this orbiting nonsense, but she’s looking forward to a bit more action.” Scotty takes a drink and grins. “A supply pick-up, eh?”
“My lady is definitely ready to get away from this place and open up some speed,” he agrees. “After this assignment, maybe we’ll have a chance to explore for a bit and we can let her do more than just orbit.” He nods. “And, yeah, a supply trip. Picking up then dropping off. Not too exciting, but better than dealing with dignitaries.”
“Did you get my inventory request?” Scotty asks. “Our girl needs a few things to get her fixed all pretty.”
“I did. I gave my approval and forwarded it on earlier. If we’re lucky, we’ll be able to pick that stuff up when we dock at the space station in a couple of days. I’ll forward any information I get about it to you, of course.” He smiles as he leans back in his chair. “What do you think the chances are that I could take Jess--my bike--down for a ride when we reach the colony?”
“Hmm. I dunno,” Scotty says thoughtfully. “Terran mechanical equipment can usually work fine on most planets, but there are factors to consider. I can do a little research on it for you, let you know. Wouldn’t want to risk damaging her or anything.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” Jim agrees. He tells Scotty the name of the colony before taking another bite of his sandwich. “If there’s even a slight risk, I’m not going to take the chance.”
“I’ll look into it tonight after my shift and tell you what I find out,” Scotty promises. “I’d like to see that beauty in action sometime. She’s gotta be tired of just sitting around.”
“I’m sure she is. She’s used to going out nearly every day, and going fast at least a couple of nights a week usually. Being stuck on here must be tough,” he says, understanding it because there are some days when being stuck on a ship with nowhere else to go gets to him, and he loves his ship. The fact that Scotty just nods in agreement and doesn’t even blink at the fact that Jim talks about Jessica like she’s a person is probably the main reason they’ve become friends, along with a shared love for the Enterprise and good whiskey.
“She’ll be alright, Captain. She didn’t get left behind, and that matters more than going out for a ride every night,” Scotty tells him solemnly. He suddenly grins. “So, what’s this I hear about Chekov knocking the snot out of Sulu? It’s been all over the ship this morning, and I know you must have details.”
“You gossip too much,” Jim informs him. “Don’t people have anything better to do with their time?”
Scotty considers it before he laughs. “Nah. We’re stuck on this ship for five years, so we have to find our entertainment somewhere. ‘sides, it’s harmless gossip. Did’ja know that I’m allegedly having a fling with Kramer, the lovely brunette,” Scotty holds his hands up as if to indicate a substantial chest, “from Security. Alas, I’ve never even properly met her. Just rode the turbolift with her the other day and helped her when she tripped getting out of it. Still, better than the rumor about you taking some vow of celibacy in exchange for that captain chair.”
Jim snorts. “That’s what they’re saying about me?” He’s actually glad to hear that since it’s better than hearing suspicions of him having sex with most his crew or, more importantly, being involved with Bones. He’s curious what other gossip might be out there, especially about Bones, but he isn’t going to ask or encourage that sort of ridiculous stuff.
“Aye. So, what happened with Chekov? If you don’t tell me, I’ll just ask Gaila when she comes in for her shift later,” he says with a smile.
“They were doing training last night, and Chekov broke Sulu’s nose,” he says with a shrug. “I was there, and it was just an accident.”
Scotty frowns. “Well, that’s bloody disappointing. I was hoping for something a little more exciting.”
“Sorry.” He grins and takes another bite, relaxing as he listens to Scotty mutter. “Now, tell me more about these plans you’ve got to make our girl even prettier.”
End
#14: Restless Night | #16: Good Start
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Summary: Jim has a talk with Chekov then has lunch with Scotty
Rating: Teen/PG13
Word Count: 3515
A/N: #15 in the Two Men & a Starship series. Follows Restless Night. Thank you to everyone who reads/comments!
Despite getting off to a rocky start, the morning seems to be shaping up pretty well. It’s the last day that the Enterprise is orbiting Scorching Monotony, so the science department is scrambling to get whatever last minute samples and readings that they want. It’s not normally a difficult task, but the reduction of their manpower due to humans not being able to work down there has caused a lag in productivity. Jim thinks that they’re managing pretty well, all things considered, and he’s interested in the reports he’s given from science, even if he doesn’t understand all the specifics.
The first half of his shift is spent reviewing correspondence and reading reports. The sheer amount of paperwork involved with being a captain is a lot more than Starfleet tells them. Sure, he knows about the basic reports that officers deal with, but it’s all the minutia that adds up. He’s just glad that he can get most of the information on his PADD and take it with him wherever he wants to go, even if he usually works on it in his office or on the bridge. The scary thing is that he’s getting used to it all, and actually expects a minimal amount every day that he would have thought was too much just a few months ago.
Once he finishes with the correspondence, he meets with Chekov to discuss the course that they’ll take to the designated space station to pick up supplies and then the best way to get to the colony for delivery. If their calculations are correct, which of course they are, they should be to the colony in four Terran days. That means that he’ll be released from light duty by then, hopefully, and he can go dirtside for a day. He’s looking forward to that, not only because he can spend time with Bones without the whole secretive thing, but because he can enjoy being outside and working off some excess energy.
He looks at Chekov and notices him frowning at the computer. “Everything okay?”
“Oh, yes, Keptin,” Chekov says, looking up and smiling slightly. “I am just having bad morning.”
“Did you sleep poorly?” Jim can definitely understand that since he’s running on just a couple hours of sleep that he got after sneaking into bed with Bones.
Chekov hesitates before he nods. “I was not able to sleep well. I was worried about Lieutenant Sulu’s nose, so I stayed awake in case it started bleeding again.” He ducks his head and yawns.
“He’ll be fine,” Jim tells him. “I’ve had a few broken noses in my day, and they always get better. Next time, he’ll be more cautious and get out of the way.”
“I am wery sorry that I made him bleed,” Chekov admits. “He has not been angry with me, but he was not talking much, either. We must share a room and work together, so I try to be friends with him. It is not always so easy.”
“It’ll get easier,” he says confidently. “It isn’t common to just meet someone and immediately be close friends. It usually takes some work, but the effort is rewarded, you know? I don’t think that Sulu’s going to stop being your friend because you bested in a hand-to-hand combat lesson.”
“Did it take work for you and Doctor McCoy?” Chekov asks curiously. “I have heard about your friendship being wery close during all of academy. Gaila says you have both been inseparable as long as she’s known of you. She is my first close friend, but it is never difficult talking with her. It is easy, and she calls me her little Russian brother.”
Jim isn’t really sure how they’ve gone from navigating a course to the space station to discussing different types of friendship, but Chekov seems to suffer from the same ‘thinking about too many things at once’ condition that he occasionally experiences himself. He scratches the back of his neck and considers how to honestly answer the question without considering the newest complexities in his relationship with Bones.
“My friendship with Doctor McCoy happened rather quickly, but it still takes work some times. We’re pretty different people in a lot of ways, which is probably one reason why there are people from the academy who were surprised by us being friends,” he tells him. “Hell, it even surprised me, since I hadn’t ever had a best friend before. We argue sometimes, but we get over it and remain friends.”
“You do not call him Doctor McCoy normally yet you do now,” Chekov observes. “That is curious. Does anyone else call him by the name you use? Gaila is the only one who calls me brother, but I do not call her anything other than Gaila. Should I? Would it assist my goal to become friends with Sulu if I call him by something other than his name?”
“You mean Bones? Well, that’s what I call him personally, but, professionally, he’s Doctor McCoy, so I try to remember that. I gave him that nickname before we even became proper friends, when I found out his medical specialty was orthopedic surgery. That is, he’s a bone doctor, or was before joining Starfleet. Bones seemed to suit him, and he’s been that to me ever since.” He looks at Chekov and grins. “The first time we met was on the shuttle from Iowa to Starfleet, and he puked on me. If I can get over that and still become friends with him, I think you’re okay with the whole broken nose thing without having to think about giving Sulu a nickname.”
“I think your choice of name is appropriate.” Chekov considers it. “I do not think that vomit is the same as breaking a nose,” he decides. “Sulu might not want to be friends anyway. He thinks I am an excitable child. I heard him say that to someone. Gaila tells me that I worry too much, but I want to be friends with the man I am sharing a room with. Otherwise, it is strained and wery awkward.”
“I think Gaila’s right. You can’t force a friendship, Chekov. It either happens or it doesn’t. Gaila and I are an example of that. We’ve become good friends recently despite our initial meeting being, uh, not friendship causing,” he says. “Sulu’s a good guy, and he’ll see that you’re a lot more than an excitable kid. Are you having trouble sharing a room with him?”
“Why would sex not be friendship causing?” Chekov tilts his head slightly. “I am sorry, Keptin. I should not have asked such personal questions.” He shakes his head. “There is no trouble. He is polite and keeps room tidy. We are becoming friends, I think, but then I break his nose, so I am not so sure now.”
“You do need to be careful about asking inappropriate questions to your colleagues,” Jim informs him, becoming captain for a moment. “If you aren’t certain that the other person is comfortable having a personal discussion, it is best to keep conversation general and casual.” He reaches out and claps his hand on Chekov’s shoulder. “I’m not answering as your captain now, but as a friend. Sex can be really enjoyable when there’s nothing but attraction involved. However, it becomes better when you’re sharing it with someone you know and care about.”
Chekov smiles sheepishly. “I am almost eighteen, Keptin. I do not need that kind of talk,” he admits. Jim has to laugh because, damn, this conversation is definitely not going in his captain’s log. Somehow, he doubts many people understand why he was discussing friendship and sex with his teenage navigator. “It is fun but empty without more there.”
“Yeah, it is,” he agrees, thinking about Bones and how doing nothing but kissing can arouse him more than some of his one night stands ever did. He clears his throat and arches a brow. “If you decide to have any more of that fun, you’ll go see Doctor McCoy for the necessary precautions, I trust?”
Chekov blushes and looks at the computer. “I will be careful, Keptin. I do not intend to have that fun right now. It is silly, but I want more than feeling empty.”
“That’s not silly, Chekov,” he says honestly. “It took me a lot longer to ever know the difference, much less make such a choice. You should be proud of yourself for figuring it out at seventeen when there are a lot of people out there who still don’t get it.”
“I am almost eighteen,” Chekov corrects but grins as he looks back up. “Thank you, Keptin.”
“Anytime. Only, if you want to talk about this sort of thing, don’t call me Captain, okay? It’s a little weird.” He smiles before picking up his PADD. “And on that note, I need to get back to work. Are you going to be okay about the broken nose thing?”
Chekov nods. “I will be fine. I want for me and Sulu to be friends, but, as you say, it takes time for that to happen. He does not seem wery angry at me about his nose, so I will not worry.”
“Good. Back to work,” he says before he leaves the office. As he walks away, he tries to figure out how that conversation came about. It doesn’t really matter. Chekov’s worried about sharing a room with someone who doesn’t want to become friends. That somehow led to Jim’s realization that kissing and touching Bones, even without mutual orgasm involved, is still better than the endless stream of one night stands that he’s had in the past. They were a lot of fun and gave him what he needed at the time, but maybe he just needs different things now.
When he gets to his office, he sits down, tilts his head back, and closes his eyes. He isn’t sure if he’s meeting Bones for lunch or not. After what happened this morning, neither of them said anything about it. Bones went to medical, and Jim came to the bridge. They had sort of settled things before leaving Bones’ quarters, but had they really? The argument from last night was resolved. They’d both acted stupid about it, and he respected Bones’ medical opinion, just as he acknowledged that Bones’ initial response had been as his Bones and not as his doctor.
The more important thing, in Jim’s opinion, is the way Bones pushed him away after he woke up and lost his erection. He’s really trying to be understanding about this. It isn’t easy, not when he can’t help but feel rejected despite knowing it’s not like that. What he knows and how he feels aren’t always the same thing, after all. In a way, though, he’s right. Bones can’t help his physical reaction. Jim was trying desperately to get him to come, to fix it, and that didn’t matter. He can accept that Bones’ body just isn’t working properly yet when it comes to sex. What he isn’t sure that he can keep accepting is how Bones continues to rebuff him in other ways.
It’s not about the sex, not really. It’s about how Bones would be right there trying everything the damn books say whether Jim wanted him to be or not if the situation was reversed. Yet Bones won’t let him touch, not when he’s awake. It happened yesterday, too, in his office. After his orgasm, he tried to touch Bones but couldn’t because Bones moved. Whatever is causing the impotency isn’t just beginning as CMO and training and all that stressful work stuff that started it.
Things are sort of settled on the ship now, as much as they ever really can be, and Bones knows that problem. The guide that Jim’s trying to use to help in this says that identifying the cause of the stress is a key factor in getting past the impotency thing. So, if Bones has identified that as a cause but the problem is still here, maybe there’s another cause? Jim doesn’t really know what it might be, since they’ve even had talks about their relationship and acknowledged that that’s what they’re in now, so he can’t think of any personal stress.
Bones doesn’t even seem to realize what he’s doing to Jim when he pushes him away or doesn’t let him touch. There was kissing yesterday, though, and he allowed that. He participated, and it was obvious that he was aroused even if his dick didn’t get hard. But after Jim came, Bones wouldn’t let him touch him. It doesn’t make sense, and thinking about it just puts him in a bad mood because he can’t figure out how to fix it. He’s had some various ideas, trying to follow the helpful guide of ways to make the situation better and possibly help treat it, but it’s difficult to do that much when Bones won’t really let him in to share part of the burden.
He groans and rubs his temples before he pushes away the frustration and hurt that he’s feeling right now. It can go to the back of his mind for now because thinking about it is just making him more aggravated. Bones is dealing with so much that Jim can’t make this about him and his needs and him wanting to help. He can’t turn it into something about how he’s feeling because this isn’t about him, even if it does affect him.
There’s a part of him that can sympathize with the Ex, that can understand why she maybe had trouble dealing with it if Bones acted the same way. Despite understanding the psychological impotency thing, he feels hurt and rejected when Bones pushes him away. Bones said she never even tried to understand it, which is probably one reason why Jim’s trying so hard to be supportive and give Bones what he didn’t have in the past, only Bones doesn’t seem to even want it.
A glance at the chronometer confirms that he’s spent too much time sitting here feeling sorry for himself. He focuses on his work, answering some new correspondence and providing probable arrival times for the space station now that they’ve chartered the course. When he’s done, he grabs his PADD and goes to the science department. He speaks with several different crew members about the reports he’s been reading, and tries to understand more clearly what they’re doing here. Since he was in the command program, he didn’t have to take more than basic science classes, so he’s glad that they’re able to speak in a way that he can follow along with instead of feeling stupid for not totally getting it.
Spock is down on Scorching Monotony, enjoying the chance to explore and nose around now that Jim’s back from medical leave, so he doesn’t get as much information from Science as he will later. Spock doesn’t often use terms and explanations that make it easy for Jim to understand the scientific stuff, but he’s thorough when asked questions, so it’ll let Jim have a bit more background on what they’ve been discovering. Not only does he need to know in case Starfleet asks questions, but he wants to know what’s on his ship, in case there’s any potential for accidents. So far, it seems to mostly be plants with various properties that could potentially be used in different ways, none of which are harmful or a threat to the crew, though he did find one of the damn rock creatures secured for observation. That thing had better be one of the samples they’re dropping at the space station because he doesn’t want it on his ship indefinitely.
Once he finishes with the science department, it’s time for lunch, so he heads to the mess hall. Gaila’s doing Beta shift this week, so he doesn’t see her anywhere, but he spots Scotty sitting alone, so he decides that’s where he’ll eat. Bones isn’t here, either, and maybe that’s not a bad thing. Not that Jim’s going to avoid him, not at all, but he’s spent too many hours recently thinking about relationships and impotency and rejection and all that confusing shit. Having a brief break to listen to Scotty actually doesn’t sound that bad.
He gets his food and makes his way to the table. “Anyone sitting here?” he asks as he pulls out an empty chair and sits down. “Now someone is.”
“Oi! I might have been expecting guests,” Scotty tells him.
“Then they can sit in one of the other chairs.” Jim smirks before he takes a bite of his sandwich. “How’re things in Engineering?”
“Great. My lovely lady is tired of this orbiting nonsense, but she’s looking forward to a bit more action.” Scotty takes a drink and grins. “A supply pick-up, eh?”
“My lady is definitely ready to get away from this place and open up some speed,” he agrees. “After this assignment, maybe we’ll have a chance to explore for a bit and we can let her do more than just orbit.” He nods. “And, yeah, a supply trip. Picking up then dropping off. Not too exciting, but better than dealing with dignitaries.”
“Did you get my inventory request?” Scotty asks. “Our girl needs a few things to get her fixed all pretty.”
“I did. I gave my approval and forwarded it on earlier. If we’re lucky, we’ll be able to pick that stuff up when we dock at the space station in a couple of days. I’ll forward any information I get about it to you, of course.” He smiles as he leans back in his chair. “What do you think the chances are that I could take Jess--my bike--down for a ride when we reach the colony?”
“Hmm. I dunno,” Scotty says thoughtfully. “Terran mechanical equipment can usually work fine on most planets, but there are factors to consider. I can do a little research on it for you, let you know. Wouldn’t want to risk damaging her or anything.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” Jim agrees. He tells Scotty the name of the colony before taking another bite of his sandwich. “If there’s even a slight risk, I’m not going to take the chance.”
“I’ll look into it tonight after my shift and tell you what I find out,” Scotty promises. “I’d like to see that beauty in action sometime. She’s gotta be tired of just sitting around.”
“I’m sure she is. She’s used to going out nearly every day, and going fast at least a couple of nights a week usually. Being stuck on here must be tough,” he says, understanding it because there are some days when being stuck on a ship with nowhere else to go gets to him, and he loves his ship. The fact that Scotty just nods in agreement and doesn’t even blink at the fact that Jim talks about Jessica like she’s a person is probably the main reason they’ve become friends, along with a shared love for the Enterprise and good whiskey.
“She’ll be alright, Captain. She didn’t get left behind, and that matters more than going out for a ride every night,” Scotty tells him solemnly. He suddenly grins. “So, what’s this I hear about Chekov knocking the snot out of Sulu? It’s been all over the ship this morning, and I know you must have details.”
“You gossip too much,” Jim informs him. “Don’t people have anything better to do with their time?”
Scotty considers it before he laughs. “Nah. We’re stuck on this ship for five years, so we have to find our entertainment somewhere. ‘sides, it’s harmless gossip. Did’ja know that I’m allegedly having a fling with Kramer, the lovely brunette,” Scotty holds his hands up as if to indicate a substantial chest, “from Security. Alas, I’ve never even properly met her. Just rode the turbolift with her the other day and helped her when she tripped getting out of it. Still, better than the rumor about you taking some vow of celibacy in exchange for that captain chair.”
Jim snorts. “That’s what they’re saying about me?” He’s actually glad to hear that since it’s better than hearing suspicions of him having sex with most his crew or, more importantly, being involved with Bones. He’s curious what other gossip might be out there, especially about Bones, but he isn’t going to ask or encourage that sort of ridiculous stuff.
“Aye. So, what happened with Chekov? If you don’t tell me, I’ll just ask Gaila when she comes in for her shift later,” he says with a smile.
“They were doing training last night, and Chekov broke Sulu’s nose,” he says with a shrug. “I was there, and it was just an accident.”
Scotty frowns. “Well, that’s bloody disappointing. I was hoping for something a little more exciting.”
“Sorry.” He grins and takes another bite, relaxing as he listens to Scotty mutter. “Now, tell me more about these plans you’ve got to make our girl even prettier.”
End
#14: Restless Night | #16: Good Start