(no subject)

Aug 03, 2004 21:06

I'm making a public outcry for help. I'm under a lot of emotional stress right now and I need someone to help me alieve it. I don't know what to do. This is tearing me apart. I don't want to hurt anymore. I've lived like this for too long. I'm sick of it. I'm tired. I just need to get away and either have someone block him from my memory, or I need to forget him on my own. Vut I've been trying and I can't help it. I have found myself driving past his house more often lately then I did when we were together. Everywhere I go I think I might run into him, even if I'm with someone else. I'm tired of wishing he was there. I want to know how he is. I want to knwo he's ok. I want to know I can move on. I didn't like how he ended it, if that's what you want to call it. Just stopped calling. I want to tell him what happened, and I..uugh..I just want to forget him and move on. I can't have any other relationship without having him in the back of my head. I'll always think about him. It's gonna drive me crazy. I'm sitting here trying not to cry because I'm this pissed at myself because I can't even get over him. I need help. I need someone to locate him or something so I can talk to him. But even if I did get in touch with him, what would happen? Would we just go back to what we were? Would it be different since we've both grown up? Would he even want to be friends with me? So many of those thoughts and more have been rolling through my head lately. I've gotten more headaches now than I ever have before. I'm tired of this. I want it to all go away. I want to move on, but I can't. I need to know it's ok to move on. Help.
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