narcisister

Jul 16, 2005 20:25

I had an entry to go with the icon, but I thought that was too narcissistic.

Basically, I took a bunch of pictures of my new hairdo and made an icon out of it. I would've given you still shots, but that's why the entry's deleted, isn't it? Hate this face.

I'd like to go on the record as saying a) I hate to look at myself- I avoid it at all costs- and b) The reason I make funny faces is because it makes me feel better.

(If you act stupid, you look stupid. If you naturally look stupid, like me, you can accentuate it by making stupid faces and everyone will think you're strange, that's all. Makes no sense at all.)

My mom is making me get those goddawful senior pictures. She is getting that big package, too, so I will be required to pose in all these awkward positions in front of some strangers. Does tension show up with the opaque chemicals? Or is it right from the get-go?

I'm irritated.
I want to go out and be a slut sometime, but I can't erase the past. It's like some fundamental glitch in my mind, something painful. I'm deathly afraid of sexual intrusion.
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