night before my trip to alaska
tomorrow I leave to go to alaska, (or as my dad calls it, "AK"), anyway, I do not really look forward to it. I did at one point, like maybe four years ago, maybe 5 or 6, when he first went, and told me when I am 15, he would take me. But now that I am 15, I do not know, I am not looking forward to it. I mean, the trip is not meant to be "fun," its a fishing trip. Everyday we will be either driving somewhere, eating, fishing, sleeping, or doing nothing. I mean my dad told me "the guys" will go out at night, meaning I will not. This has happened before, once we went to Florida, strictly for fishing, or so I was told. We got up very early, left to go fish, fished for most of the day, came baq, ate, and then I was left in the hotel room, while my dad and his friends went off and did whatever they did. I really do not mind. I might have fun during the nine days I am going to be there. I know when I get bored I could do my summer assignments...but I will try to talk to Jessica a little, cuz I do not want to go the whole time with out talking to her.
I already miss her. I am going to take several pictures, one of her and one of me and her. Today, we talked a bunch, I kinda want to be talking to her now, I say, kinda cuz she is with one of her friends right now, and spending the night with her, and I do not want to be selfish, she is at a friends house, I do not want to be talking on the phone with her all night when she should be doing something with a friend. I love her sooo much, if I am not with her, I want to know that she is safe, happy, and having fun. I do not want to be leaving her for about nine days, but I have to, if I do not go to alaska with my dad, he would be crushed. I will miss her while I am going, (like I said, I already do), but I know I will see when I get baq. I can not imagine losing her. And once, I felt like I could have.
That was on monday. It was very scary. It kinda started with me having to go to my swim meet to find out if it was going to be called off or not, really I did not want to go anyway. I was to stay home and talk to Jessica, cuz I knew she was not having the best of days, and I kinda did not at first help it. So when I went, they tried to start the meet, and then about maybe 2 hours later I think, they called it off. Some of my teammates wanted to go to Fuddruckers, (or Fuckers for short). I did not, I wanted to go home, I mean I was hungry, but I could have ate at home. But I knew patriq wanted to go. If I stayed home he would have to also, and he would have been bored, so i figured it wouldnot take that long, and I could get baq home and talk to Jessica. Well it turned out that the person giving us a ride, was giving everyone else a ride too, and just about everyone, wanted to go home first and change. So it took way longer than I thought, and I lost track of time, and I did not call Jessica yet. After we ate, I really just wanted to go home. BUt then Meg was like, hey why can't everyone come to my house and just chill and watch movies or soemthing, my mom baked a cake, and then patriq was like yeah dude I want to go, then I thought, well maybe Jessica could also come. So I used meg's cell, and called her. She seemed happy about it, and then said she would try to get ahold of her mom. she called me saying she could not get ahold of her, and then she told me that we needed to talk about soemthing. right then and there I got kinda scared. So then since she still could not get ahold of her mom, she went ahead and told me what was going on. She told me that they were going to get evicted if they did not come up with about 1200 dollars by friday. I freaked out, and I was telling her I am going to go home, and then I will call her then talk to her more about it. She thought I really wanted to go out or something, she kept trying to tell me to not go home, and to go have fun, as if I would never see her again, then I started to cry, I do not think she noticed, and I assured her that I just really wanted to go home, and talk to her. So I did, I left patriq cuz I knew he would probably be bored at the house, and I knew he wanted to go to meg's house, so I got peggy, ( a friend of mine that also did not want to go to meg's house) to give me a ride home. she noticed that I was kinda worry/sad/out of it. I told her, (not with details) what happened, and almost cried again. When I got home, we talked, we cried. I actually cried aLOT. It got better.
I know I will not lose her. The worst that will happen is that she will move in with her grandpa for a little bit, but that will not change us. I was really scared though, cuz I seriously thought I would be losing her, and I can not lose Jessica. She means way too much to me, and I love her too much. Its getting kinda late, I have to wake up early, I still have not heard from Jessica, but its okay. I wish could call me tomorrow mouring. I would really like to talk to her one last time before I left. To tell her how much I love her, and how much I will miss her. But I know she will read this, so this next part is for her:
Jessica, I love you sooo much. I can not wait till come baq and see you again. I miss you soo much, I miss laying next to you, I miss holding you, I miss kissing you, I miss all and everything we do together, and I will miss all of that over the next nine days, but I know it will be okay, I will be baq, and all the things I miss I will be with again. I will think about you all the time. I will be safe, and I will be baq soon, I love you. Bye.
I already miss her. I am going to take several pictures, one of her and one of me and her. Today, we talked a bunch, I kinda want to be talking to her now, I say, kinda cuz she is with one of her friends right now, and spending the night with her, and I do not want to be selfish, she is at a friends house, I do not want to be talking on the phone with her all night when she should be doing something with a friend. I love her sooo much, if I am not with her, I want to know that she is safe, happy, and having fun. I do not want to be leaving her for about nine days, but I have to, if I do not go to alaska with my dad, he would be crushed. I will miss her while I am going, (like I said, I already do), but I know I will see when I get baq. I can not imagine losing her. And once, I felt like I could have.
That was on monday. It was very scary. It kinda started with me having to go to my swim meet to find out if it was going to be called off or not, really I did not want to go anyway. I was to stay home and talk to Jessica, cuz I knew she was not having the best of days, and I kinda did not at first help it. So when I went, they tried to start the meet, and then about maybe 2 hours later I think, they called it off. Some of my teammates wanted to go to Fuddruckers, (or Fuckers for short). I did not, I wanted to go home, I mean I was hungry, but I could have ate at home. But I knew patriq wanted to go. If I stayed home he would have to also, and he would have been bored, so i figured it wouldnot take that long, and I could get baq home and talk to Jessica. Well it turned out that the person giving us a ride, was giving everyone else a ride too, and just about everyone, wanted to go home first and change. So it took way longer than I thought, and I lost track of time, and I did not call Jessica yet. After we ate, I really just wanted to go home. BUt then Meg was like, hey why can't everyone come to my house and just chill and watch movies or soemthing, my mom baked a cake, and then patriq was like yeah dude I want to go, then I thought, well maybe Jessica could also come. So I used meg's cell, and called her. She seemed happy about it, and then said she would try to get ahold of her mom. she called me saying she could not get ahold of her, and then she told me that we needed to talk about soemthing. right then and there I got kinda scared. So then since she still could not get ahold of her mom, she went ahead and told me what was going on. She told me that they were going to get evicted if they did not come up with about 1200 dollars by friday. I freaked out, and I was telling her I am going to go home, and then I will call her then talk to her more about it. She thought I really wanted to go out or something, she kept trying to tell me to not go home, and to go have fun, as if I would never see her again, then I started to cry, I do not think she noticed, and I assured her that I just really wanted to go home, and talk to her. So I did, I left patriq cuz I knew he would probably be bored at the house, and I knew he wanted to go to meg's house, so I got peggy, ( a friend of mine that also did not want to go to meg's house) to give me a ride home. she noticed that I was kinda worry/sad/out of it. I told her, (not with details) what happened, and almost cried again. When I got home, we talked, we cried. I actually cried aLOT. It got better.
I know I will not lose her. The worst that will happen is that she will move in with her grandpa for a little bit, but that will not change us. I was really scared though, cuz I seriously thought I would be losing her, and I can not lose Jessica. She means way too much to me, and I love her too much. Its getting kinda late, I have to wake up early, I still have not heard from Jessica, but its okay. I wish could call me tomorrow mouring. I would really like to talk to her one last time before I left. To tell her how much I love her, and how much I will miss her. But I know she will read this, so this next part is for her:
Jessica, I love you sooo much. I can not wait till come baq and see you again. I miss you soo much, I miss laying next to you, I miss holding you, I miss kissing you, I miss all and everything we do together, and I will miss all of that over the next nine days, but I know it will be okay, I will be baq, and all the things I miss I will be with again. I will think about you all the time. I will be safe, and I will be baq soon, I love you. Bye.