Eek dan gets personal
Well, first post in a quite a long while, and first REAL post in a long time. Nobody really uses livejournal anymore so I don't expect this to be read too much if at all but it will at least be nice to get it out.
Well might as well go out and state it right away. I think I have panic attacks. Hah funny right? Or sad. Either way I didn't really know that I had them or at least never thought of it in that way. I don't get them super can't function at all bad but they are enough to get me scared. Not scared but panicing whatever you want to call it. It used to happen in a lot of situations, like crowds of people I didn't know and so on but I worked on that shit and I've probably only had it happen in a crowd 1 time in the past 8 years or so. The main place it happens now is in driving. Everytime I am driving to a difficult location or somewhere that I have never been before my mouth gets dry, my heart beats faster and I get plain uncomfortable. It usually is increased by how much traffic is around. If it was all suburb driving I wouldn't really give a shit I guess it's the highways that get me. And a lot of times when I have never been to where I am going there is a good chance I am nervous about something like the destination is a job interview or going someplace where I don't know anybody who is going to be there.
Well that is just my explanation about that, just feels good to talk about it even if it is to nobody. I really don't know how to fix it, I mean I try using the same methods I used to get over shyness (well get over it as much as possible) but they just don't always work. Anyway I guess that is all for that rant.
As for what is going on with my life right now? Absolutely nothing at all, I am susposed to be looking for a job but that gets me nervous. There I said it. I am terrified of going to job interviews (and the drive there). I've only been to 2 interviews in my life. Anyway I am trying very hard to look for a job but those things are stunting me. I hang out with friends like 1 time a week if even that, usually it is a party. People want me to call them if I am ever bored or to hang out but I am just not that kind of person. If left to my own will I will do nothing at all. But irregardless of what I am doing I will drop it to go hang out with friends if I am invited to do so. Well this is WAY too much into my personal life for now so I am going to stop writing for now and go to bed. Night all.
Well might as well go out and state it right away. I think I have panic attacks. Hah funny right? Or sad. Either way I didn't really know that I had them or at least never thought of it in that way. I don't get them super can't function at all bad but they are enough to get me scared. Not scared but panicing whatever you want to call it. It used to happen in a lot of situations, like crowds of people I didn't know and so on but I worked on that shit and I've probably only had it happen in a crowd 1 time in the past 8 years or so. The main place it happens now is in driving. Everytime I am driving to a difficult location or somewhere that I have never been before my mouth gets dry, my heart beats faster and I get plain uncomfortable. It usually is increased by how much traffic is around. If it was all suburb driving I wouldn't really give a shit I guess it's the highways that get me. And a lot of times when I have never been to where I am going there is a good chance I am nervous about something like the destination is a job interview or going someplace where I don't know anybody who is going to be there.
Well that is just my explanation about that, just feels good to talk about it even if it is to nobody. I really don't know how to fix it, I mean I try using the same methods I used to get over shyness (well get over it as much as possible) but they just don't always work. Anyway I guess that is all for that rant.
As for what is going on with my life right now? Absolutely nothing at all, I am susposed to be looking for a job but that gets me nervous. There I said it. I am terrified of going to job interviews (and the drive there). I've only been to 2 interviews in my life. Anyway I am trying very hard to look for a job but those things are stunting me. I hang out with friends like 1 time a week if even that, usually it is a party. People want me to call them if I am ever bored or to hang out but I am just not that kind of person. If left to my own will I will do nothing at all. But irregardless of what I am doing I will drop it to go hang out with friends if I am invited to do so. Well this is WAY too much into my personal life for now so I am going to stop writing for now and go to bed. Night all.