(no subject)

[inefablywritten]

you like it so much better
when you dont haveto think about me
and it shouldnt bother me so much
but it makes me feel more inadquate than before

so i dont know what feels worse
being with you and knowing it didnt fit
or not having you at all
and still grasping for your attention

so i ask myself over and over
why i constantly give power over to those so undeserving
but then i see that the answer is so clear...
that if i were actually in control
i'd have to take responsability for my own heart