178
(note: Scrooge McDuck first appeared in the comic Donald Duck Four Color #178 published December 1947.)
Hi. I often find that I really hate social networking. I'm not an incredibly private person, but there are some people that just do NOT need to know any and everything about me. That sounds conceited. But I mostly mean my mom's friends. They babysat me and took care of me when I was little, but that doesn't really mean we have anything to talk about now past "Oh you're so grown up!" I would love to say we have a million things to talk about, but we don't. A summary update of my life as of late is simply "I get up at 5am to go to work at Target stocking shelves and racks for about 5 hours. I ride my bike home. I watch movies all day and clean or paint or play video games. I often watch television shows on Netflix as well. When Andy comes home, we often go out to grab a bite to eat at the faster non-fast-food places in this tiny town, i.e. Chipotle, Subway, Panda Express, Rubio's, etc. We come home, eat in our rooms while reading the latest news online. Sometimes his friends come over to play Magic or Doom or other such geek games. Usually we are in bed by 10pm. Rinse and repeat.
Now even for me that is a lot of extra details that I feel would sound odd if I said them aloud to someone i was talking to. Does anyone care that i like Panda Express? Or that Andy plays Magic? No. Not really. In fact most of my mom's friends would stare at me blankly. They might try to engage and ask me what these things are, but for the most part it is a superficial conversation meant only for politeness' sake.
I don't really have that much in common with anyone past 45. Granted, i do have a wonderful friend at work named Becky who I will assume is in her mid 30's that I really like talking to. We feel like we can tell each other anything without being judged. The key phrase is WITHOUT BEING JUDGED. I can tell her things and she gives me an honest response and usually it's within the realm of logic I would have to begin with. We converse in an honest manner about anything and there's no being frowned upon because I'm young and have made mistakes. It's not "Oh you're 24! Why are you not back in school? Are you and Andy getting married? But you're living together! What are you going to do with your life?"
I have to say that of all my family, my brother and sister are the most understanding. Granted, I rarely talk to my brother so that's probably why that works out so well. I wish I could talk more with my sister, but it's not really like anything changes in my life enough to want to call and constantly update her with the minutiae about z racks and softlines at Target. We talk on holidays and mostly about our mother.
Speaking of my mother, I love her. She's my mother. I have no reason to NOT love her. But i have many a reason to dislike her. I don't ever want to stop growing and learning and changing and discovering new things that change my outlook. I don't ever want to be so set in my ways and ideas that i completely ignore and disregard anything that anyone else has to say (granted, when said idea or way is in fact a logical step and not simply idiotic.) I feel like my mother has stopped growing. There is no evolution of personality or mental capacity. This isn't meant as an insult. It just means that in addition to not having much to talk to, she's not willing to open up to new things or things I want to talk about. Conversations with my mother usually end in two ways: 1) she spends the entirety of the conversation lecturing me and telling me what to do. Granted, yes, it is a motherly response and entirely laudable. However, most of what she says I already know and/or have already done, and she is reiterating to me for the umpteenth time. It is excusable. 2) i try to engage in some sort of intelligent conversation about politics or news or movies or freaking anything and it turns into an argument and then into a yelling match in which she insists louder than anyone that her side is right and that i don't know what i'm talking about because i'm only 24 and haven't seen shit.
It's hard to explain to your own mother why you don't want to talk to her. Especially when you know it will hurt her feelings and she'll take you off her Facebook friends list... like she did with my sister. They haven't talked since before Thanksgiving. And when I tell her she should talk to my sister, she says my sister owes her an apology and that she won't talk to her until she does. Which is odd. I fully agree with my sister on this one, but even if i didn't, my mother is an adult. She's supposed to know which arguments are worth fighting for and which are the ones to back off cause it is not worth it. She doesn't. Know or back down, that is.
Long story short, my sister's dad and our mom don't get along. My mother doesn't like his way of life or the way he conducts himself. Instead of keeping the peace and keeping quiet, she always makes comments and asides in front of him. Yes, she has a right to not like him because of what he did to her 30 years or so ago. However, she doesn't have a right to make everyone else uncomfortable at holiday gatherings because of it. So my sister plans a trip every year to cut down a Christmas tree. It was her family's tradition and she often invited Mom and i to come with her. She always goes the weekend after Thanksgiving. This past year was no different. Except that now her Dad lives much closer to her and gets to come to all the family holidays, unlike years past. Mom knew this and invited her to Thanksgiving as well as the Christmas tree trip. My sister finally stood up for herself and said Mom could come to Thanksgiving but NOT on the trip. My mom got incredibly mad and they haven't talked since.
Now everyone might have a different opinion on this, understandably so. But the issue isn't their differing opinions, it's the fact that my sister tried to find common ground and allow Mom to come for half of the festivities, knowing that several of the other family members there would not enjoy Mom being there. Instead of being gracious and taking the common ground, my mom chose to put up a stink.
This whole drama filled event led to me and my sister talking for a looonnnggg time on the phone. We talked about our mother and how badly we both want a familial relationship that doesn't cause this much stress and literal aguish. I want to love my mother and have conversations with her that don't end in fights. I want to be able to tell her everything without her getting upset and telling me how much she loved me when i was little and i was such a good girl. She often pretends that we have this incredibly close-knit family, and it's just not true. So how can we tell her we want her to be a more bearable person before her time is up here? Granted, she's not incredibly old. And people in our family tend to live a long time. But... she's turning 60 next year. She has heart issues due to stress. The point is ANY OF US could go at any moment, including me. How can we tell her all of these things without her having a horrible reaction and deciding not to talk to us anymore? What would happen RIGHT NOW if (God forbid!) one of them died. Who would have remorse? Who would feel guilt and upset at the fact that there's no chance to take back the situation and how it was left?
Is it worth the risk of making that my plight if my mother can't handle our opinions of her? It's not like we want to look at our mother with anything but love, respect, and a sense of dignity. But how can you when those things just don't come to you no matter how hard you try and want them to? Then again, if I don't ever tell my mother these things, i might never get the chance to and then we'll always have these opinions of her.
It just makes me sad.
This has been incredibly long and mostly only for me to get my feelings into something tangible... or visual. Whatever. I have trouble NOT being honest. And it's hard to not be honest with someone you're supposed to care so much about.
Hi. I often find that I really hate social networking. I'm not an incredibly private person, but there are some people that just do NOT need to know any and everything about me. That sounds conceited. But I mostly mean my mom's friends. They babysat me and took care of me when I was little, but that doesn't really mean we have anything to talk about now past "Oh you're so grown up!" I would love to say we have a million things to talk about, but we don't. A summary update of my life as of late is simply "I get up at 5am to go to work at Target stocking shelves and racks for about 5 hours. I ride my bike home. I watch movies all day and clean or paint or play video games. I often watch television shows on Netflix as well. When Andy comes home, we often go out to grab a bite to eat at the faster non-fast-food places in this tiny town, i.e. Chipotle, Subway, Panda Express, Rubio's, etc. We come home, eat in our rooms while reading the latest news online. Sometimes his friends come over to play Magic or Doom or other such geek games. Usually we are in bed by 10pm. Rinse and repeat.
Now even for me that is a lot of extra details that I feel would sound odd if I said them aloud to someone i was talking to. Does anyone care that i like Panda Express? Or that Andy plays Magic? No. Not really. In fact most of my mom's friends would stare at me blankly. They might try to engage and ask me what these things are, but for the most part it is a superficial conversation meant only for politeness' sake.
I don't really have that much in common with anyone past 45. Granted, i do have a wonderful friend at work named Becky who I will assume is in her mid 30's that I really like talking to. We feel like we can tell each other anything without being judged. The key phrase is WITHOUT BEING JUDGED. I can tell her things and she gives me an honest response and usually it's within the realm of logic I would have to begin with. We converse in an honest manner about anything and there's no being frowned upon because I'm young and have made mistakes. It's not "Oh you're 24! Why are you not back in school? Are you and Andy getting married? But you're living together! What are you going to do with your life?"
I have to say that of all my family, my brother and sister are the most understanding. Granted, I rarely talk to my brother so that's probably why that works out so well. I wish I could talk more with my sister, but it's not really like anything changes in my life enough to want to call and constantly update her with the minutiae about z racks and softlines at Target. We talk on holidays and mostly about our mother.
Speaking of my mother, I love her. She's my mother. I have no reason to NOT love her. But i have many a reason to dislike her. I don't ever want to stop growing and learning and changing and discovering new things that change my outlook. I don't ever want to be so set in my ways and ideas that i completely ignore and disregard anything that anyone else has to say (granted, when said idea or way is in fact a logical step and not simply idiotic.) I feel like my mother has stopped growing. There is no evolution of personality or mental capacity. This isn't meant as an insult. It just means that in addition to not having much to talk to, she's not willing to open up to new things or things I want to talk about. Conversations with my mother usually end in two ways: 1) she spends the entirety of the conversation lecturing me and telling me what to do. Granted, yes, it is a motherly response and entirely laudable. However, most of what she says I already know and/or have already done, and she is reiterating to me for the umpteenth time. It is excusable. 2) i try to engage in some sort of intelligent conversation about politics or news or movies or freaking anything and it turns into an argument and then into a yelling match in which she insists louder than anyone that her side is right and that i don't know what i'm talking about because i'm only 24 and haven't seen shit.
It's hard to explain to your own mother why you don't want to talk to her. Especially when you know it will hurt her feelings and she'll take you off her Facebook friends list... like she did with my sister. They haven't talked since before Thanksgiving. And when I tell her she should talk to my sister, she says my sister owes her an apology and that she won't talk to her until she does. Which is odd. I fully agree with my sister on this one, but even if i didn't, my mother is an adult. She's supposed to know which arguments are worth fighting for and which are the ones to back off cause it is not worth it. She doesn't. Know or back down, that is.
Long story short, my sister's dad and our mom don't get along. My mother doesn't like his way of life or the way he conducts himself. Instead of keeping the peace and keeping quiet, she always makes comments and asides in front of him. Yes, she has a right to not like him because of what he did to her 30 years or so ago. However, she doesn't have a right to make everyone else uncomfortable at holiday gatherings because of it. So my sister plans a trip every year to cut down a Christmas tree. It was her family's tradition and she often invited Mom and i to come with her. She always goes the weekend after Thanksgiving. This past year was no different. Except that now her Dad lives much closer to her and gets to come to all the family holidays, unlike years past. Mom knew this and invited her to Thanksgiving as well as the Christmas tree trip. My sister finally stood up for herself and said Mom could come to Thanksgiving but NOT on the trip. My mom got incredibly mad and they haven't talked since.
Now everyone might have a different opinion on this, understandably so. But the issue isn't their differing opinions, it's the fact that my sister tried to find common ground and allow Mom to come for half of the festivities, knowing that several of the other family members there would not enjoy Mom being there. Instead of being gracious and taking the common ground, my mom chose to put up a stink.
This whole drama filled event led to me and my sister talking for a looonnnggg time on the phone. We talked about our mother and how badly we both want a familial relationship that doesn't cause this much stress and literal aguish. I want to love my mother and have conversations with her that don't end in fights. I want to be able to tell her everything without her getting upset and telling me how much she loved me when i was little and i was such a good girl. She often pretends that we have this incredibly close-knit family, and it's just not true. So how can we tell her we want her to be a more bearable person before her time is up here? Granted, she's not incredibly old. And people in our family tend to live a long time. But... she's turning 60 next year. She has heart issues due to stress. The point is ANY OF US could go at any moment, including me. How can we tell her all of these things without her having a horrible reaction and deciding not to talk to us anymore? What would happen RIGHT NOW if (God forbid!) one of them died. Who would have remorse? Who would feel guilt and upset at the fact that there's no chance to take back the situation and how it was left?
Is it worth the risk of making that my plight if my mother can't handle our opinions of her? It's not like we want to look at our mother with anything but love, respect, and a sense of dignity. But how can you when those things just don't come to you no matter how hard you try and want them to? Then again, if I don't ever tell my mother these things, i might never get the chance to and then we'll always have these opinions of her.
It just makes me sad.
This has been incredibly long and mostly only for me to get my feelings into something tangible... or visual. Whatever. I have trouble NOT being honest. And it's hard to not be honest with someone you're supposed to care so much about.