163
(note: www.163.com is worth approx 761.6 million USD as of April 2006, and maintains 1600 employees as of February 2006.)
i came to a realization five minutes ago that i've been avoiding for years.
i am not the type of girl that men marry. i am the type of girl who becomes a mistress.
so many of my "friends" from high school have gotten engaged or married in the past year, despite the fact that they are all between 18 and 22. They all seem so naively happy. Like... they're the types of couples who will have the 2.5 kids and the two story brick house and the SUV and the golden retriever and the beige carpet and the season tickets to Tarheel games.
and i'm conflicted.
every little girl dreams of her wedding, despite whether or not she is bisexual, homosexual, or straight. so did i. long ago. and what's saddest is that every time i ring some customer up who looks like the "marrying type" of guy, i wonder if he sees me as anything more than a rebellious little girl.
do i want to revert to the quiet, sophisticated, elegant woman that all my high school "friends" were when they became engaged? do i want to sacrifice my identity and individuality that sets me apart from those mindless women whom i do NOT want to become just to find someone who might consider marrying me so that i can have that simple life without having to worry about money? they won't worry about food or bills or new manicures or trips to the spa. I mean really. LOOK at the rocks those boys bought them.
what's most depressing is that every time i see a jewelry commercial on television, i laugh to myself and think "this is a commercial about rocks. literally... rocks." i always say i'd rather have a new car or a nicer honeymoon than a huge ring that i'll probably lose. and while that is ridiculously reasonable, would i really rather have the car or the honeymoon...
or the wedding at all?
i came to a realization five minutes ago that i've been avoiding for years.
i am not the type of girl that men marry. i am the type of girl who becomes a mistress.
so many of my "friends" from high school have gotten engaged or married in the past year, despite the fact that they are all between 18 and 22. They all seem so naively happy. Like... they're the types of couples who will have the 2.5 kids and the two story brick house and the SUV and the golden retriever and the beige carpet and the season tickets to Tarheel games.
and i'm conflicted.
every little girl dreams of her wedding, despite whether or not she is bisexual, homosexual, or straight. so did i. long ago. and what's saddest is that every time i ring some customer up who looks like the "marrying type" of guy, i wonder if he sees me as anything more than a rebellious little girl.
do i want to revert to the quiet, sophisticated, elegant woman that all my high school "friends" were when they became engaged? do i want to sacrifice my identity and individuality that sets me apart from those mindless women whom i do NOT want to become just to find someone who might consider marrying me so that i can have that simple life without having to worry about money? they won't worry about food or bills or new manicures or trips to the spa. I mean really. LOOK at the rocks those boys bought them.
what's most depressing is that every time i see a jewelry commercial on television, i laugh to myself and think "this is a commercial about rocks. literally... rocks." i always say i'd rather have a new car or a nicer honeymoon than a huge ring that i'll probably lose. and while that is ridiculously reasonable, would i really rather have the car or the honeymoon...
or the wedding at all?