(no subject)
Okay, so I haven’t updated in a really long time. Brett comes back tonight/tomorrow morning and prom is today. I have so much shit to do and way too much crap on my mind. I have been breaking down and crying every night for the past 5 days while I’m on the phone with Brett, not because of anything to do with him, but mostly family related stuff, and the fact that EVERYONE in my life has abandoned me at some point in time, and I’m just waiting for the people I do have to just drop me like a bad habit. I know some of you will say different, but I can’t help if there is that voice in the back of my head that says “THEY WILL LEAVE YOU” Like I said to Brett last night, it’s like living in a world full of light, and you see everything for what it is, and you haven’t closed your eyes once, and then you go blind, and nothing is what it was, and you don’t know what reality is anymore, because your senses may be lying to you.
And then there’s the whole… ummmmmm………… family thing. I called my mom last night before I talked to Brett, and as soon as I said hello, she hung up. My brother is supposed to be in town this weekend, or next or............... I don’t even know. But that’s the thing, I don’t know when my own brother is coming in town, and I think that’s bull shit. My mom has the number, the address, she knows where I work, she knows when I’m in school, she knows how to get to where I live, SO WHY IS MY FAMILY ACTING LIKE A BRICK WALL.
I’m in school right now, and now I need to go do something, because I’m gonna fucking cry.............................. again. I hate this shit.
And then there’s the whole… ummmmmm………… family thing. I called my mom last night before I talked to Brett, and as soon as I said hello, she hung up. My brother is supposed to be in town this weekend, or next or............... I don’t even know. But that’s the thing, I don’t know when my own brother is coming in town, and I think that’s bull shit. My mom has the number, the address, she knows where I work, she knows when I’m in school, she knows how to get to where I live, SO WHY IS MY FAMILY ACTING LIKE A BRICK WALL.
I’m in school right now, and now I need to go do something, because I’m gonna fucking cry.............................. again. I hate this shit.