Le Sigh...

[inebrigoth]

Tonight I'm drinking Wodka & trying to compile a definitive colection of poetry that I've written. Since many of my poems are posted to my LJ and can be found no where else, I've ended up reading through several years worth of past entries and it's made me realize two things. #1 is how much I like me. My self esteem has been at a pretty low ebb lately, but re reading what I've written in the past, I love how I express myself, and I love how I amuse myself. I crack myself up over stupid shit that no one else probably gets, but to me it's funny as hell, even years later. And that's the super-ultra. #2 is how much I miss the Bay area. I miss my friends, I miss the fun times that we had. I miss too many people to even put into words. I miss ALL OF YOU!!! I wish that I could reinvent the past, or somehow pick up where I left off and make a go of it from there. But I suspect that there's been too much water under the bridge. Who knows... Anyway. Here's the rough draft of a new poem. Still needs some work probably, but it's something...

I walk the razor wire,
that stretches in between
Lucidity and Lunacy.
I'm forever chasing dreams
that seem insane & senseless
in the cold harsh light of day
but nonetheless they call to me
a Siren's melody
that overwhelms my senses,
and careens me out of touch
with those things I thought I wanted
sends me seeking in a rush
a fate that I've assured myself
will never be enough
to reconcile fantasy
and my ever springing hope
With reality's grim reaper
& the hangmans knotted rope
that hangs in readyness to catch me
if I perchance to fall
from the razor wire that I walk,
till I can't walk at all.