no title.
i dont really post here anymore.. im sure its all for good reason. i wonder why things turn out the way they do sometimes yanno? like if all this really matters to someone. things here have been good lately.. working mostly. i like saying im pretty financially stable. ive been able to buy my nerd toys and still have money for food and bills its great. ive pretty much stuck to myself lately i think ive done my fair share of trying to force myself into situations that just werent meant to be and now im to the point where i realize it all needs to be taken slow. i allow myself to get caught up in the idea that love is something that means something to two people and not just one..so being the only one in love generally leaves you holding your own broken heart and watching someone else skip away with a smile. ive also noticed i cant be or stay mad at anyone anymore..its so weird to find myself being so from the normal. i refuse to be the guy who always says "girls always fuck me over" ... because i cant. i fuck girls over too. ive lied. ive been less than the man ive tried to be..and thats human. ive caught myself saying things i didnt mean and ive been told things that they didnt mean. its vicious and no one ever wants to be honest. no one ever wants to own up to the things theyve done that are wrong. well i am. if anyone actually reads this then i guess we'll consider this somewhat of a confession of the wrong ive done. i want a clean slate. i want a new beginning. i want to cut myself off from everything and everyone that ive caused any kind of pain, joy, sorrow, or even grief. if you're someone that can forgive me for the things ive done wrong and dont mind watching me transform into the type of man i should be..please let me know. if you think i should fuck off i kind of want to know that as well..it makes cutting myself off easier. this is all.