(no subject)
Usually if I rant and rave on livejournal and cry my heart out, I feel better in the morning. Not one hundred percent, but better.
So I guess I know I'm super depressed when none of that helped, I have a huge migraine and I even stayed home from work. Maybe I should have just gone to work because this day seems just as shitty as yesterday. Except that I can barely stand up because I'm so shakey.
Oh yeah, and the fucking creepy stalker from work is sending me disgusting photos. It sucks that I don't want to hurt his feelings, because he's the only one who actually treats me normally among the guys. He can be nice... but then he fucking goes and says creepy things or does creepy things or doesn't leave me alone and it's like, fuck.
I'm like five seconds from going off on him, but I can't, because I have to work with the guy and work is already miserable as hell, I don't need to deal with this. And oh yeah, I can't report him because everyone fucking loves this guy. Or maybe they're like me, and just pretend to. I don't know though, my bosses already hate me so I don't want to give them another reason to. And chances are they wouldn't believe me anyway. Or they'd say, "Haha, that Marc, what a rascal! He's just joking around." Yeah, and it's offensive and creepy as fuck.
On another note, I had the worst dream last night. I dreamt I ran into my dad, realized he was alive, begged him to come back and he refused and then he left and I spent most of the dream trying to find him.
(There were other parts of the dream that were kind of awesome, though, like where I was building my own Batcave, where I became the person that rings the church bell at this really weird church that you had to be tied off in a full fall harness to get to the top, and I wanted to redecorate the church because it looked really shabby, and then I found a injured dog, some doctor came over and I told him not to do anything we should just take the dog to the vet, but he operated anyway and the dog died. And I was like, I fucking told you. And then the last part of the dream, I was arguing with my mom and brother, telling them I was sick and tired of living with them. So I got a place that was infested with spiders, mice, frogs, beetles, and all other sorts of horrible things.)
Also my niece threw a recorder at my head. It fucking hurt. Really helped the migraine.
ETA: For some reason LJ chopped out half my entry. Fucker.
So I guess I know I'm super depressed when none of that helped, I have a huge migraine and I even stayed home from work. Maybe I should have just gone to work because this day seems just as shitty as yesterday. Except that I can barely stand up because I'm so shakey.
Oh yeah, and the fucking creepy stalker from work is sending me disgusting photos. It sucks that I don't want to hurt his feelings, because he's the only one who actually treats me normally among the guys. He can be nice... but then he fucking goes and says creepy things or does creepy things or doesn't leave me alone and it's like, fuck.
I'm like five seconds from going off on him, but I can't, because I have to work with the guy and work is already miserable as hell, I don't need to deal with this. And oh yeah, I can't report him because everyone fucking loves this guy. Or maybe they're like me, and just pretend to. I don't know though, my bosses already hate me so I don't want to give them another reason to. And chances are they wouldn't believe me anyway. Or they'd say, "Haha, that Marc, what a rascal! He's just joking around." Yeah, and it's offensive and creepy as fuck.
On another note, I had the worst dream last night. I dreamt I ran into my dad, realized he was alive, begged him to come back and he refused and then he left and I spent most of the dream trying to find him.
(There were other parts of the dream that were kind of awesome, though, like where I was building my own Batcave, where I became the person that rings the church bell at this really weird church that you had to be tied off in a full fall harness to get to the top, and I wanted to redecorate the church because it looked really shabby, and then I found a injured dog, some doctor came over and I told him not to do anything we should just take the dog to the vet, but he operated anyway and the dog died. And I was like, I fucking told you. And then the last part of the dream, I was arguing with my mom and brother, telling them I was sick and tired of living with them. So I got a place that was infested with spiders, mice, frogs, beetles, and all other sorts of horrible things.)
Also my niece threw a recorder at my head. It fucking hurt. Really helped the migraine.
ETA: For some reason LJ chopped out half my entry. Fucker.