(no subject)
Last night was not a good night for sleep. I had possibly the most terrifying dream that I've ever dreamt. I won't retell it - it's really difficult to explain, because it wasn't so much what happened in the dream, but rather how I was feeling in it and my experience (and it was an experience.) It probably sounds stupid and rather silly, but it felt like my soul was literally being sucked away from my body. I figure I must have been so scared by the dream I had a panic attack and while I was sleeping that's just what my mind decided to think it was - that my soul was being pulled away.
When I woke up - which was so painfully slow, as though I was taking time to come back into myself - I laid there for a few minutes (to be honest, I can't say how long - I have no idea), terrified to open my eyes. I was so afraid of what I would see. And then when I finally managed to suck up the courage to do so, I scrambled from my bed to throw the light on.
I was so relieved to find my mom was awake. I must have scared her when I'd come out of my bedroom (the noise I was making scrambling about to turn on the light), but she gives me this look and I'm still recovering from the panic attack and all I can say is, "I've had a nightmare."
Now I've had pretty freaky dreams in the past, so I think she must have shrugged it off until I started trying to tell her the dream and I had to pause at certain parts because I felt like I was going to have another panic attack. I was gulping breaths and then as I got to the end of the dream - the part that scared me the most, I just broke down and started sobbing. My poor mother must have had no idea what to do. How do you comfort someone when they've had a terrible dream that they can't properly explain?
But I feel like I need to explain at least the end of the dream, the part that freaked me out the most: Basically I was following a woman (who was dead, a spirit or ghost or something) because she needed my help. Or at least, I assumed she needed my help. She couldn't leave the house or, you know, move on. So she leads me to a ladder and glides away into an attic (square hole in the ceiling kind). I start to follow her and then she starts to say my full name from the dark crack in the attic hole, over and over (in a foreign accent, the way she said it was freaky in and of itself) until her voice just becomes a great whooshing - like she was sucking in her breath and not stopping. And it felt like she was literally pulling me away from my body and I knew that she was trying to kill me or at least do something absolutely horrible, and I remember clinging to the ladder saying, "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!" And then it stopped, but it took a while for me to come back into myself (or wake up.)
I cannot even explain the shear terror I felt when she was pulling me away. There was an earlier part in the dream where I literally collapsed and started screaming over and over, but even that fear couldn't compare to this one.
I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. I've never had such a horrible dream. It almost compares to the one where Milo was lying on my chest while I slept and I thought I was drowning (but even that didn't scare me, it was more like - this is an interesting feeling.)
My mom, of course, has her theories as to what it actually was (Dark Spirits for 100, Alex) but I just don't even care. All I can remember is the terror and fear. Even now, when I think about it, my heart feels like it's going a mile a minute and I want to cry.
I just felt like I needed to post this because I'm sure I'll want to remember later. No matter how bad it was, it was... interesting seems the wrong word, but I don't want to forget it (though chances are, I never will.)
After I stopped crying, I had to turn on all the lights in the house. I don't know what it was, but my mom jokingly said, "Don't go into the light!" And I kind of looked at her and shook my head and said, "No. Don't go into the dark."
When I woke up - which was so painfully slow, as though I was taking time to come back into myself - I laid there for a few minutes (to be honest, I can't say how long - I have no idea), terrified to open my eyes. I was so afraid of what I would see. And then when I finally managed to suck up the courage to do so, I scrambled from my bed to throw the light on.
I was so relieved to find my mom was awake. I must have scared her when I'd come out of my bedroom (the noise I was making scrambling about to turn on the light), but she gives me this look and I'm still recovering from the panic attack and all I can say is, "I've had a nightmare."
Now I've had pretty freaky dreams in the past, so I think she must have shrugged it off until I started trying to tell her the dream and I had to pause at certain parts because I felt like I was going to have another panic attack. I was gulping breaths and then as I got to the end of the dream - the part that scared me the most, I just broke down and started sobbing. My poor mother must have had no idea what to do. How do you comfort someone when they've had a terrible dream that they can't properly explain?
But I feel like I need to explain at least the end of the dream, the part that freaked me out the most: Basically I was following a woman (who was dead, a spirit or ghost or something) because she needed my help. Or at least, I assumed she needed my help. She couldn't leave the house or, you know, move on. So she leads me to a ladder and glides away into an attic (square hole in the ceiling kind). I start to follow her and then she starts to say my full name from the dark crack in the attic hole, over and over (in a foreign accent, the way she said it was freaky in and of itself) until her voice just becomes a great whooshing - like she was sucking in her breath and not stopping. And it felt like she was literally pulling me away from my body and I knew that she was trying to kill me or at least do something absolutely horrible, and I remember clinging to the ladder saying, "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!" And then it stopped, but it took a while for me to come back into myself (or wake up.)
I cannot even explain the shear terror I felt when she was pulling me away. There was an earlier part in the dream where I literally collapsed and started screaming over and over, but even that fear couldn't compare to this one.
I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. I've never had such a horrible dream. It almost compares to the one where Milo was lying on my chest while I slept and I thought I was drowning (but even that didn't scare me, it was more like - this is an interesting feeling.)
My mom, of course, has her theories as to what it actually was (Dark Spirits for 100, Alex) but I just don't even care. All I can remember is the terror and fear. Even now, when I think about it, my heart feels like it's going a mile a minute and I want to cry.
I just felt like I needed to post this because I'm sure I'll want to remember later. No matter how bad it was, it was... interesting seems the wrong word, but I don't want to forget it (though chances are, I never will.)
After I stopped crying, I had to turn on all the lights in the house. I don't know what it was, but my mom jokingly said, "Don't go into the light!" And I kind of looked at her and shook my head and said, "No. Don't go into the dark."