(no subject)
I wrote an entry for an RPG, but I don't know if I'll get the chance to post it ever, so I'm posting it here 'cause I actually like it. It's quite lengthy, too. Probably a bit emo, but it's what I felt like writing.
Some info: It's an OC in the HP world. Cassidy Boyd is a muggleborn wizard who teaches at Hogwarts (DADA). He was tortured by Death Eaters when he was 24, since he was an Auror. To top it off, his parents were killed when he was twelve by Death Eaters. He is kind of a Stu, but so sue me. I like him. ¬__¬
He stood for a long time that morning, staring in the mirror at his reflection. He had a deep ache in his bones and it made getting ready for the day extremely difficult. He'd nearly not gotten out of bed, but he knew if he stayed in his room alone, it would only be much worse. Pushing past the dull ache in his chest and back, he closed his eyes before opening them again, wishing with all his might that when he opened them, he would look... normal. Unblemished.
But as his eyes slowly adjusted to the dim light once more, his wishes were nothing more than just that. The thick white scars that covered his back and ran down his arms and legs hadn't disappeared like he so often wished. Magic would easily hide them. Even the long scar that ran down his face would disappear under an illusion charm. But that didn't stop them from existing. Even if no one else could see them, he would. He would feel them twist with every step he made. Feel the thick skin under his fingers.
He bowed his head and touched the only scar on his chest. It was worse than the others. Thicker and still red. Four years wasn't enough to make the darkened skin disappear. Not that one, anyway. He wondered, as he so often did, how he was still alive. How did Cassidy Boyd escape Hell with his life? He had been in the shadow of death, and yet, four years later, he walked and breathed as though nothing had ever occured.
Everyone else may have forgotten. Those who rescued him may have had other horrors to deal with. But the ill-fated Mister Boyd did not forget. He would never forget. When he closed his eyes, he could see the lights, feel the sting and the burn, feel his flesh being torn away from him again and again. He would forever relive those six months again and again, no matter how hard he tried to push it from his mind. No matter what he did to distract himself.
A bark from the pitbull laying at the foot of the bed disturbed Cassidy from his reverie. He glanced at his watch and sighed. He couldn't delay it any longer. Grabbing a collared shirt from the open trunk near the mirror, Cassidy was quick to be dressed. The pitbull barked again.
"Yeah, yeah, Finn," Cassidy muttered, pulling his robes on over top of his grey slacks and white shirt. He hated the shirt. Even with a short sleeved top underneath it, you could still see the scars along his arms. No, he could see the scars. No one else would be able to. No one would even notice that he was partially blind in one eye. No one would suspect so no one would ask.
He grabbed the black leash from where it sat on one of the large armed chairs that adorned the room and quickly attached it to the collar of his mostly well-behaved dog. Finn's entire body shook with excitement and anticipation as Cassidy lead him from his quarters and into the silent corridors. It was early and no one was awake. It was part of the conditions of keeping Finn with him at Hogwarts. Early and late walks, keeping him out of the students prying eyes.
After all, you make one exception to a rule, and everyone will be wanting that exception made for them. If no one knew he had a dog hidden away in his quarters, no one would be the wiser. And with a quick slip out a back door, no one would ever see him leaving with the dog, either.
Feeling the cold air on his face, Cassidy looked around the grounds and made sure the coast was clear before letting Finn off the leash. Immediately he took off, running this way and that, smelling every possible thing in eyeview of Cassidy. Though normally he would be out for a jog with Finn, Cassidy was in no mood and his body protested against every move and exertion.
Instead he took a seat in the dewy grass, careful to charm his clothes against water, just in case. His eyes fluttered sleepily and he leaned back on his elbows. Any energy he'd had early was escaping him. He wasn't really a morning person. Upon waking up, he'd probably be wide awake for an hour before sleep would threaten to overtake him again.
Being that it was quite early and he had some time before he had to do much of anything, Cassidy let the cool air sooth his aches before he lay completely back in the grass. He could hear Finn snuffling away somewhere nearby and he had no fear of the dog going anywhere. He was much too scared to leave his owner. The last time Finn had strayed too far, Cassidy had found him huddling in fear under a set of stairs. Eventually, after he had done his business, Finn came loping back to him before setting beside his owner who was already quickly drifting off.
The pressing warmth of his companion was a comfort to Cassidy. There was a reason he'd gotten a dog two years ago. He never felt entirely alone, even when he wanted to be left to his thoughts. And Finn was completely loyal to Cassidy. He probably wouldn't have parted with his owner for anything in the world.
With his eyes shut, Cassidy quickly fell back into sleep with little difficulty. But as easy as it had been to slip into slumber, it was much more difficult remaining at ease. Lately the dreams - the nightmares - had been much harder to shut out and ignore. Something was coming; Cassidy just somehow knew, and it was dredging up his past.
This dream, though, wasn't like the rest. It flickered back and forth between his memories, not remaining in one too long. It was blending them, making it difficult and confusing to understand which was which. And in the state of sleep he was in at this point, he didn't even begin to comprehend that what he was seeing wasn't real. In this moment in time, it was very real to Cassidy.
Every image, every pain, every feeling under his callused fingers. First a boy, then a man. Feeling the sting of heartbreak in the depths of the dungeon he'd been locked so long in. The voices laughing cruelly as they told him of his parents death. Aislin and Duncan were dead, they mocked. Laughing as they slashed and tore and burned.
Finn stirred as Cassidy's sleep turned restless. He was making small noises in the back of his throat - muffled versions of his scream. He twitched and his eyes fluttered beneath his closed lids. The dog whined and set his head on his companion's chest. If Finn were human, he would have done anything in his power to help Cassidy - to somehow comfort him and rid him of the visions and nightmares. But he was just a dog and all he could do was remain as close to his owner as possible.
Somewhere in his mind, Cassidy heard the mournful whining of his dog. It echoed and distorted and his subconcious misconstrued it. It wasn't the sound of a dog, but the whimper of a small boy, alone and afraid. It was a mournful wail of a tortured soul, the cry of a child and the scream of a man. In his dream, it was all Cassidy.
Some info: It's an OC in the HP world. Cassidy Boyd is a muggleborn wizard who teaches at Hogwarts (DADA). He was tortured by Death Eaters when he was 24, since he was an Auror. To top it off, his parents were killed when he was twelve by Death Eaters. He is kind of a Stu, but so sue me. I like him. ¬__¬
He stood for a long time that morning, staring in the mirror at his reflection. He had a deep ache in his bones and it made getting ready for the day extremely difficult. He'd nearly not gotten out of bed, but he knew if he stayed in his room alone, it would only be much worse. Pushing past the dull ache in his chest and back, he closed his eyes before opening them again, wishing with all his might that when he opened them, he would look... normal. Unblemished.
But as his eyes slowly adjusted to the dim light once more, his wishes were nothing more than just that. The thick white scars that covered his back and ran down his arms and legs hadn't disappeared like he so often wished. Magic would easily hide them. Even the long scar that ran down his face would disappear under an illusion charm. But that didn't stop them from existing. Even if no one else could see them, he would. He would feel them twist with every step he made. Feel the thick skin under his fingers.
He bowed his head and touched the only scar on his chest. It was worse than the others. Thicker and still red. Four years wasn't enough to make the darkened skin disappear. Not that one, anyway. He wondered, as he so often did, how he was still alive. How did Cassidy Boyd escape Hell with his life? He had been in the shadow of death, and yet, four years later, he walked and breathed as though nothing had ever occured.
Everyone else may have forgotten. Those who rescued him may have had other horrors to deal with. But the ill-fated Mister Boyd did not forget. He would never forget. When he closed his eyes, he could see the lights, feel the sting and the burn, feel his flesh being torn away from him again and again. He would forever relive those six months again and again, no matter how hard he tried to push it from his mind. No matter what he did to distract himself.
A bark from the pitbull laying at the foot of the bed disturbed Cassidy from his reverie. He glanced at his watch and sighed. He couldn't delay it any longer. Grabbing a collared shirt from the open trunk near the mirror, Cassidy was quick to be dressed. The pitbull barked again.
"Yeah, yeah, Finn," Cassidy muttered, pulling his robes on over top of his grey slacks and white shirt. He hated the shirt. Even with a short sleeved top underneath it, you could still see the scars along his arms. No, he could see the scars. No one else would be able to. No one would even notice that he was partially blind in one eye. No one would suspect so no one would ask.
He grabbed the black leash from where it sat on one of the large armed chairs that adorned the room and quickly attached it to the collar of his mostly well-behaved dog. Finn's entire body shook with excitement and anticipation as Cassidy lead him from his quarters and into the silent corridors. It was early and no one was awake. It was part of the conditions of keeping Finn with him at Hogwarts. Early and late walks, keeping him out of the students prying eyes.
After all, you make one exception to a rule, and everyone will be wanting that exception made for them. If no one knew he had a dog hidden away in his quarters, no one would be the wiser. And with a quick slip out a back door, no one would ever see him leaving with the dog, either.
Feeling the cold air on his face, Cassidy looked around the grounds and made sure the coast was clear before letting Finn off the leash. Immediately he took off, running this way and that, smelling every possible thing in eyeview of Cassidy. Though normally he would be out for a jog with Finn, Cassidy was in no mood and his body protested against every move and exertion.
Instead he took a seat in the dewy grass, careful to charm his clothes against water, just in case. His eyes fluttered sleepily and he leaned back on his elbows. Any energy he'd had early was escaping him. He wasn't really a morning person. Upon waking up, he'd probably be wide awake for an hour before sleep would threaten to overtake him again.
Being that it was quite early and he had some time before he had to do much of anything, Cassidy let the cool air sooth his aches before he lay completely back in the grass. He could hear Finn snuffling away somewhere nearby and he had no fear of the dog going anywhere. He was much too scared to leave his owner. The last time Finn had strayed too far, Cassidy had found him huddling in fear under a set of stairs. Eventually, after he had done his business, Finn came loping back to him before setting beside his owner who was already quickly drifting off.
The pressing warmth of his companion was a comfort to Cassidy. There was a reason he'd gotten a dog two years ago. He never felt entirely alone, even when he wanted to be left to his thoughts. And Finn was completely loyal to Cassidy. He probably wouldn't have parted with his owner for anything in the world.
With his eyes shut, Cassidy quickly fell back into sleep with little difficulty. But as easy as it had been to slip into slumber, it was much more difficult remaining at ease. Lately the dreams - the nightmares - had been much harder to shut out and ignore. Something was coming; Cassidy just somehow knew, and it was dredging up his past.
This dream, though, wasn't like the rest. It flickered back and forth between his memories, not remaining in one too long. It was blending them, making it difficult and confusing to understand which was which. And in the state of sleep he was in at this point, he didn't even begin to comprehend that what he was seeing wasn't real. In this moment in time, it was very real to Cassidy.
Every image, every pain, every feeling under his callused fingers. First a boy, then a man. Feeling the sting of heartbreak in the depths of the dungeon he'd been locked so long in. The voices laughing cruelly as they told him of his parents death. Aislin and Duncan were dead, they mocked. Laughing as they slashed and tore and burned.
Finn stirred as Cassidy's sleep turned restless. He was making small noises in the back of his throat - muffled versions of his scream. He twitched and his eyes fluttered beneath his closed lids. The dog whined and set his head on his companion's chest. If Finn were human, he would have done anything in his power to help Cassidy - to somehow comfort him and rid him of the visions and nightmares. But he was just a dog and all he could do was remain as close to his owner as possible.
Somewhere in his mind, Cassidy heard the mournful whining of his dog. It echoed and distorted and his subconcious misconstrued it. It wasn't the sound of a dog, but the whimper of a small boy, alone and afraid. It was a mournful wail of a tortured soul, the cry of a child and the scream of a man. In his dream, it was all Cassidy.