(no subject)
Yay my PC is working. =O
I'm watching Bones. Jess and Rachel at work are really interested in this show but I'm not really getting into it. Mostly I just watch it to stare at David Boreanaz. There's really nothing more to get interested in. Dr. Brennan is just so boring as a main character. Booth on the other hand is sexy and that's all that matters.
Ugh. I missed work yesterday due to car stuff. I mean, I probably could've gone in, but I didn't feel like it and now I feel super guilty. I should have gone in. Instead I spent the day having loads of "fun" at Shelly's birthday dinner which was awkward and weird. The only real fun part was Kevin took me quadding and we got muddier than hell. It was awesome.
I never call in sick or am late, so I really shouldn't feel bad for calling in once. And it's not like I needed to be there, but I still feel terrible about it. I barely worked at all this week. I worked monday, thursday and friday and that's it. I had saturday and sunday off last week, then monday and tuesday and then I didn't work saturday and sunday again. Then I'll work tomorrow night and then have tuesday off. My paycheck is seriously going to suck. ass. this week. And I thought my paycheck for the last two weeks was terrible.
And I want to get a new car. Yeah, freakin' right. I want to get a Mitsubishi Eclipse, and I would be totally stoked to get a new car, but I don't want the bills. I like having just my phone bill. And it's not like I drive much anymore anyway. Mostly just to work and back. Kevin drives everywhere else, so what do I need a fancy shiny car for? I wouldn't really go anywhere in it.
So I'm thinking about just fixing up my car and maybe giving it a paint job. I could even go to pick-a-part and fix up the interior.
I don't know. These past couple days I've been really stressed out about everything. I couldn't even enjoy my time with Kevin before he goes away to Calgary again. I was so depressed I almost started to cry in front of him for no real reason. I wanted to talk to him about it but since he's going away, I don't want him to be worried about me while he's gone. It's partially because he is going away again and, yeah, I like my alone time, but I feel like I barely get to see him anymore except for weekends. All we do is hang out at his place and it's so. boring. D: I like quadding but there's only so much quadding you can do in a day before you get bored of that, too.
Not to mention his parents are really annoying. I mean, they're sweeter than hell, but everytime we get even the slightest bit intimate, one of them pops up. It's like they know. And, to be completely honest...
I feel cheap. Used a little bit. Because everytime we have sex, it's always in his car because he doesn't have a place, I don't have a place and there's really no where else to do it. Which is probably another reason why I can't enjoy it anymore. It's good, yes. But somewhat uncomfortable and emotionally, I feel like a hooker being paid to do it. Because afterwards, he's always like, "Okay, I gotta go." or "I gotta get you home." And that's that. Tonight it was because he had to go to bed early because he had to wake up early. Which, okay, I'm totally fine with but it happens every time. Once or twice in the car every MONTH, hell week, maybe I wouldn't care so much, but every time?
Not to mention he is so unromantic about the whole thing. He always says sweet things afterwards, but before hand there's nothing but him trying to see how fast he can get my clothes off. It's so frustrating. D:
But when I just want him to hold me and be focused on me, there's never time. He wants to watch TV or play video games (his recent obsession into Guitar Hero is entirely my fault). Apparently snuggling in front of something that puts me to sleep is a good time for him. Or when there is time and it is just me and him, his parents show up and it's like he's embarrassed about it. Dad walked in on us, Mom's seen us, even Michael burst into my room the night Kevin stayed over and I didn't bat an eye. I don't care. Let them think or see what they want. But I guess it's just the way he is with his parents. My parents see me as a mature, twenty year old young adult. His parents see him as a liability and a trouble maker, and he's no less, if not more, responsible as me. He's twenty-two and they have issues with us sleeping in the same bed.
Because, you know, we didn't go camping for four days by ourselves completely alone. And it's not even so much his mom. When it was just his mom, she allowed me to stay in his room, but when his dad is home, it's a completely different story. Maybe because his dad thinks he knows what Kevin would do. Half the time I think they should be more worried about me and what I would do to Kevin. Not to mention they never leave us alone for any period of time. Mom and Dad don't really care. I mean, Dad does, obviously, but he respects me enough to leave us alone. And if he really feels like he has to intrude, he bangs on the door, shouts some joke about kicking Kevin's ass for being alone in his daughter's room and then leaves. He doesn't come in, he doesn't intrude. He does it more for shits and giggles, really. And whatever, it's funny, but when it comes down to it, I love my parents because they respect me and trust me enough to take care of myself.
But anyway. Bottom Line: I feel like a cheap whore, I love my boyfriend, and I want to move in with him so that the parents can't get in the way of our happy fun time.
But, it's late and I should go to bed. Because I have work tomorrow. And Bones is putting me to sleep.
I'm watching Bones. Jess and Rachel at work are really interested in this show but I'm not really getting into it. Mostly I just watch it to stare at David Boreanaz. There's really nothing more to get interested in. Dr. Brennan is just so boring as a main character. Booth on the other hand is sexy and that's all that matters.
Ugh. I missed work yesterday due to car stuff. I mean, I probably could've gone in, but I didn't feel like it and now I feel super guilty. I should have gone in. Instead I spent the day having loads of "fun" at Shelly's birthday dinner which was awkward and weird. The only real fun part was Kevin took me quadding and we got muddier than hell. It was awesome.
I never call in sick or am late, so I really shouldn't feel bad for calling in once. And it's not like I needed to be there, but I still feel terrible about it. I barely worked at all this week. I worked monday, thursday and friday and that's it. I had saturday and sunday off last week, then monday and tuesday and then I didn't work saturday and sunday again. Then I'll work tomorrow night and then have tuesday off. My paycheck is seriously going to suck. ass. this week. And I thought my paycheck for the last two weeks was terrible.
And I want to get a new car. Yeah, freakin' right. I want to get a Mitsubishi Eclipse, and I would be totally stoked to get a new car, but I don't want the bills. I like having just my phone bill. And it's not like I drive much anymore anyway. Mostly just to work and back. Kevin drives everywhere else, so what do I need a fancy shiny car for? I wouldn't really go anywhere in it.
So I'm thinking about just fixing up my car and maybe giving it a paint job. I could even go to pick-a-part and fix up the interior.
I don't know. These past couple days I've been really stressed out about everything. I couldn't even enjoy my time with Kevin before he goes away to Calgary again. I was so depressed I almost started to cry in front of him for no real reason. I wanted to talk to him about it but since he's going away, I don't want him to be worried about me while he's gone. It's partially because he is going away again and, yeah, I like my alone time, but I feel like I barely get to see him anymore except for weekends. All we do is hang out at his place and it's so. boring. D: I like quadding but there's only so much quadding you can do in a day before you get bored of that, too.
Not to mention his parents are really annoying. I mean, they're sweeter than hell, but everytime we get even the slightest bit intimate, one of them pops up. It's like they know. And, to be completely honest...
I feel cheap. Used a little bit. Because everytime we have sex, it's always in his car because he doesn't have a place, I don't have a place and there's really no where else to do it. Which is probably another reason why I can't enjoy it anymore. It's good, yes. But somewhat uncomfortable and emotionally, I feel like a hooker being paid to do it. Because afterwards, he's always like, "Okay, I gotta go." or "I gotta get you home." And that's that. Tonight it was because he had to go to bed early because he had to wake up early. Which, okay, I'm totally fine with but it happens every time. Once or twice in the car every MONTH, hell week, maybe I wouldn't care so much, but every time?
Not to mention he is so unromantic about the whole thing. He always says sweet things afterwards, but before hand there's nothing but him trying to see how fast he can get my clothes off. It's so frustrating. D:
But when I just want him to hold me and be focused on me, there's never time. He wants to watch TV or play video games (his recent obsession into Guitar Hero is entirely my fault). Apparently snuggling in front of something that puts me to sleep is a good time for him. Or when there is time and it is just me and him, his parents show up and it's like he's embarrassed about it. Dad walked in on us, Mom's seen us, even Michael burst into my room the night Kevin stayed over and I didn't bat an eye. I don't care. Let them think or see what they want. But I guess it's just the way he is with his parents. My parents see me as a mature, twenty year old young adult. His parents see him as a liability and a trouble maker, and he's no less, if not more, responsible as me. He's twenty-two and they have issues with us sleeping in the same bed.
Because, you know, we didn't go camping for four days by ourselves completely alone. And it's not even so much his mom. When it was just his mom, she allowed me to stay in his room, but when his dad is home, it's a completely different story. Maybe because his dad thinks he knows what Kevin would do. Half the time I think they should be more worried about me and what I would do to Kevin. Not to mention they never leave us alone for any period of time. Mom and Dad don't really care. I mean, Dad does, obviously, but he respects me enough to leave us alone. And if he really feels like he has to intrude, he bangs on the door, shouts some joke about kicking Kevin's ass for being alone in his daughter's room and then leaves. He doesn't come in, he doesn't intrude. He does it more for shits and giggles, really. And whatever, it's funny, but when it comes down to it, I love my parents because they respect me and trust me enough to take care of myself.
But anyway. Bottom Line: I feel like a cheap whore, I love my boyfriend, and I want to move in with him so that the parents can't get in the way of our happy fun time.
But, it's late and I should go to bed. Because I have work tomorrow. And Bones is putting me to sleep.