(no subject)
Hospice says my mom and I shouldn't be afraid to give my dad "permission".....
I came on here to vent about this absoulte fucked up situation but whatever I say I can't help but want to beat my own ass cause its as if I'm making the whole private situation dramatic...
I just don't understand how I am supposed to give someone permission to die if I don't want them to. Everyone says but think of all the pain he may be in and how uncomfortable he is. Thanks. Thanks for making me feel selfish. But you know what, I am. He's my dad. I'm supposed to want him here. I want him to watch me turn 21 so we can share that shot of Jack. I want him to be apart of my wedding. I want him here for Lane. To teach him about fishing. And so that when Lane turns 12 my dad and him can make fun of the stupid things I did when I was his age......we don't even know whats going to happen...if he'll snap out of this or if this is it.......
Fucking shit. How am I supposed to end an entry like this???
Oh we spent the evening in the ER because Lane was running a fever of 104 that wouldn't go down. Turns out he has major ear infections in both ears.
I came on here to vent about this absoulte fucked up situation but whatever I say I can't help but want to beat my own ass cause its as if I'm making the whole private situation dramatic...
I just don't understand how I am supposed to give someone permission to die if I don't want them to. Everyone says but think of all the pain he may be in and how uncomfortable he is. Thanks. Thanks for making me feel selfish. But you know what, I am. He's my dad. I'm supposed to want him here. I want him to watch me turn 21 so we can share that shot of Jack. I want him to be apart of my wedding. I want him here for Lane. To teach him about fishing. And so that when Lane turns 12 my dad and him can make fun of the stupid things I did when I was his age......we don't even know whats going to happen...if he'll snap out of this or if this is it.......
Fucking shit. How am I supposed to end an entry like this???
Oh we spent the evening in the ER because Lane was running a fever of 104 that wouldn't go down. Turns out he has major ear infections in both ears.