Just a Lazy Sunday afternoon
Well yesterday was pretty busy for me I had to work most of the day which i did not mind. Right now with Tony gone on the road and nothing else to do except sit at home bored I am trying to work as many hours as I can. Tony was able to stop in here last night on his way to dallas...he is supposed to have half his load there at 7am tomorrow morning and then the other half of his load in I think Grand praire or something like that at 11am. He got here around 8ish last night and left about 130 this afternoon. It was nice to see him even for such a brief amount of time. This time i am handling him being gone alot better. I don't know what my deal was before I think I just got too used to him being here. Now I am getting too used to him being gone and coming in once every 2-3 weeks. I miss him still but in a way I kind of like having my freedom back...not that I did not have it before...but now I can pretty much watch whatevr I want, go wherever I want when I want,etc. In other words he is not here for me to have to factor in to all of my decisions. Ok now I just sound selfish...but still I think everyone likes to have their own space to do their own things from time to time.
He informed me last night that b/c his brother is not coming in until late august early september he will not be back until around that time. His bro was supposed to be here this w/e but that was changed to end of august/first of september sometime before this weekend. SInce he is coming in then he said he probably will not be able to make it in to go to Raw with me as we had originally planned. I told him he better let me know for sure by friday if he wants to go or not cause I am getting tickets when they go on sale. If he goes cool,if he does'nt cool eithter way I intend to have fun! I figure if I can go all the way to ohio on my own and do ok then I should be able to go to oKc alone and be alright. If I go alone I will probably go to okc on monday then stay the night and head back on Tuesday. It works out well for me cause I have tuesdays off. I may have to work some on Monday of the show but I am gonna try to get it off... If I can't I can work a few hours then get my butt to okc. I am very much looking forward to this show..if you can't tell LOL.
Ugh its too damn hot and gas prices are fucking insane...thats my 2 biggest complaints at the moment...but then again that seems to be alot of people's complaints so I am not alone.
I can't wait for friday to get here cause its payday and this is going to be a pretty good sized check which will be very nice for a change. I have beeen putting in alot more hours at work and I know it will have been worth it when I get that check. Its spent though on bills then tickets and getting cindy something for her birthday. I want to get her something nice..just don't know what yet.
I was chatting with a friend of mine that I met on a board I visit when I mentioned to her that I had just heard on the news an alligator was on the loose and how strange it was to hear that in Oklahoma. Well I knew she lived in Cali but I had'nt mentioned OK before...and she was like "omg you're an Okie TOo?" Turns out she grew up in Oklahoma and moved to Cali a few years back with her hubby. I thought that was pretty cool..we got to talking about Oklahoma and how people in cali always ask her about her accent.
I got to chat with a freind of mine today on the phone for a little bit and that was really nice. SHe asked me a question about the shows in the past and i have been thinking about that alot. I was happy to be going to the shows...but was I happy about the situation surronding me when going to the shows...not all the time. Now that statement has nothing remotely at all to do with the friends I attended the shows with..I loved being around my friends and just having fun. Still I can remember getting a sinking feeling in my stomach becasue I knew with each show I went to I was sinking further in debt. It was like any other addiction I guess I got so caught up in the shows that i cared about little else than when the next show was. This is why anytime someone asked me about a show I'd jump at the chance to go never thinking twice about it. I regret that cause my actions ended up hurting alot of people I care about includung my own mom. I left her so many times hanging with all the bills to pay by herself while I took my entire check to go to a show. This is something I will always regret for the rest of my life.
This whole week she has been scared I was going to take off on the truck with Tony and leave her here to pay everything again...I had to keep reassuring i had no plans to do that. I don't either...she did not deserve that then and she damn sure does not deserve it now. This is why I have toned down on my traveling and going to shows alot. So anyhow it was'nt the shows and it was'nt the people arpund me who made the last few shows I attended less enjoyable than others...it was the fact that my consience was getting to me and I was fighting my own personal demons. I was smiling and all but on the inside going through pure hell. I hate that I had to crash land but that crash landing helped me to pull myself up and get myself straightened out. I have a totally new outlook on life and a totally new respect for all of the people in my life. whew did not mean for that to be so long.
He informed me last night that b/c his brother is not coming in until late august early september he will not be back until around that time. His bro was supposed to be here this w/e but that was changed to end of august/first of september sometime before this weekend. SInce he is coming in then he said he probably will not be able to make it in to go to Raw with me as we had originally planned. I told him he better let me know for sure by friday if he wants to go or not cause I am getting tickets when they go on sale. If he goes cool,if he does'nt cool eithter way I intend to have fun! I figure if I can go all the way to ohio on my own and do ok then I should be able to go to oKc alone and be alright. If I go alone I will probably go to okc on monday then stay the night and head back on Tuesday. It works out well for me cause I have tuesdays off. I may have to work some on Monday of the show but I am gonna try to get it off... If I can't I can work a few hours then get my butt to okc. I am very much looking forward to this show..if you can't tell LOL.
Ugh its too damn hot and gas prices are fucking insane...thats my 2 biggest complaints at the moment...but then again that seems to be alot of people's complaints so I am not alone.
I can't wait for friday to get here cause its payday and this is going to be a pretty good sized check which will be very nice for a change. I have beeen putting in alot more hours at work and I know it will have been worth it when I get that check. Its spent though on bills then tickets and getting cindy something for her birthday. I want to get her something nice..just don't know what yet.
I was chatting with a friend of mine that I met on a board I visit when I mentioned to her that I had just heard on the news an alligator was on the loose and how strange it was to hear that in Oklahoma. Well I knew she lived in Cali but I had'nt mentioned OK before...and she was like "omg you're an Okie TOo?" Turns out she grew up in Oklahoma and moved to Cali a few years back with her hubby. I thought that was pretty cool..we got to talking about Oklahoma and how people in cali always ask her about her accent.
I got to chat with a freind of mine today on the phone for a little bit and that was really nice. SHe asked me a question about the shows in the past and i have been thinking about that alot. I was happy to be going to the shows...but was I happy about the situation surronding me when going to the shows...not all the time. Now that statement has nothing remotely at all to do with the friends I attended the shows with..I loved being around my friends and just having fun. Still I can remember getting a sinking feeling in my stomach becasue I knew with each show I went to I was sinking further in debt. It was like any other addiction I guess I got so caught up in the shows that i cared about little else than when the next show was. This is why anytime someone asked me about a show I'd jump at the chance to go never thinking twice about it. I regret that cause my actions ended up hurting alot of people I care about includung my own mom. I left her so many times hanging with all the bills to pay by herself while I took my entire check to go to a show. This is something I will always regret for the rest of my life.
This whole week she has been scared I was going to take off on the truck with Tony and leave her here to pay everything again...I had to keep reassuring i had no plans to do that. I don't either...she did not deserve that then and she damn sure does not deserve it now. This is why I have toned down on my traveling and going to shows alot. So anyhow it was'nt the shows and it was'nt the people arpund me who made the last few shows I attended less enjoyable than others...it was the fact that my consience was getting to me and I was fighting my own personal demons. I was smiling and all but on the inside going through pure hell. I hate that I had to crash land but that crash landing helped me to pull myself up and get myself straightened out. I have a totally new outlook on life and a totally new respect for all of the people in my life. whew did not mean for that to be so long.