Oct 18, 2006 06:41
I feel overwhelmed. The move is ok.... it's coming along but believe it or not.... this is not why I feel this way.
I am filled with joy and hope and no doubt when it comes to this one person. But I am sad and a little angry.
I didn't think I could fell so deeply for someone I never met. I mean right now at this very moment I am getting all teary eyed... Listening to something he created, thinking of him now, missing him.... Am I driving myself mad? I know when the time is right we will met and be together... I love him. I shouldn't.... but I can't help it.... and were not even together. WOw. I sound like a rambling idiot I am sure. I just need to vent. I think of him a lot. And now I haven't talked to him in a while I miss him as if I am having withdraws. How do I slow down and not become a junkie? I don't think I should refure to him as a drug. But I want my fix.
I want to stop feeling sad because I cant talk to him. Heh I can't help it. Hes the last thing I think of before bed. First thing when I wake up. My dreams incorporate him.
I know he feels the same. Hes told me.... I suppose it's good that its like this right now.... if he was here... would we have been rushing into something? I want this to be done right and not rushed. I feel so strong about him... to the point that in a way I am frighten that I have thoughts of being with him and being married and traveling and happy. heh
I need to stop rambling. I needed to do this some where. Myspace has to many people stalking me and making sure I am not doing anything anyone approves of. BAH. I usually don't care but this time... We have been laying low so his ex wont freak and drama wont arise. So far were successful. But for how long?