(no subject)
I have no clue what I could have possibly done to drive away one of my best friends. But I succeeded, and for some reason I can't stop running it all over in my head. However, it's not staying on the inside and more than my cheeks are covered in tears. One of these days I'll be able to open my eyes, and look at you without wondering. I've also no idea how long that will be.
..........................................
On second thought, I know exactly how long it will be. The more I sit and think about what happened, and solely that, it's all coming into perspecive. Ha. Our entire friendship, if you would like to call it that, was merely based on the way we treat one-and-other. All of the time we invested being "friends" was spent firing back and forth, with laughter in the middle. Now all of the laughter, all the talking for that matter, is gone. I get to see you every day and know that once again I have sufficiantly fabricated a connection with you. I know for a fact that this is a one-sided feeling, as you no longer value me as anything other than a peer. The others that you made friends with in the same time period proved more important, and that is A-OK. More than once I've tried forcing myself back into your life, and every time I've been rejected openly.
This is the end of that. Let me know if you ever have any interest in willingly spending your own time with me. Don't call me because everybody else is busy. Don't call me because you feel "obligated." Don't call me because someone told you that you should. Don't come talk to me just because I'm standing by myself. Don't talk to me just because one of your real friends is with me. Don't waste your money, time, and energy pretending to care about any of this. I can take care of myself now, and hopefully I'll be able to prove it to you and everybody else.
Please- and thank you.
oh&ps! don't assume.