STORIES
These will be updated as more stories are sent to me.
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2 bunnies were talking to each other. 1 was a girl and the other a boy. AFter talking they feel in love. Since they were in love they decided to go and get some coffee from Starbucks. The 2 bunnies went there. Got their coffee and while the girl bunny had her head turned the boy bunny slipped a roofie into her drink. That fat bastard bunny. But actually it turned out he got sold the wrong thing. The roofie turned out to be Adderall. So rather than passing out to have the boy bunny do whatever he so pleased with her the girl bunny never slept again. See the combination of Adderall in caffeine made it so she never had to sleep. AFter that she found out she didn't need the boy bunny. She didn't need anything because she didn't need sleep and that's what we all need. She learned how to do things with her time that normal bunnies could only imagine. But sadly after 4 days of no sleep she died. See since she didn't need anything anymore she also stopped eating and drinking. Well, the boy bunny blamed himself and hated himself until the next when he walked straight into snake country. After that he couldn't hate himself, because he was dead too. See it was like suicide. He knew the snakes would eat him. But really it was only one snake who got him. The snake swore after that it was the best bunny he'd ever had. That started the snake's quest to find an even better tasting bunny. So he ate a lot of bunnies. But never did he find one as good as the fat bastard bunny who accidently killed the girl bunny who was in love with him.
-emily
Once upon a time there was a crackwhore
he bathed in crack so much that he got herpes from it. The Herpes Manifested into him and he became a giant herpe. He goes around infecting people by touch to this day. You should be very very afraid.
The End.
-matt
and tehn the myspace monsters came from a talented mr ripply and rumpled a head of lettuce with their kike n shittz. why dont you come shoot a paty kid? asked the raven? why dont you come poop on my head>
-alida
ok, so there was this guy(we can call him elden), and he was totally diggin on this chick(we'll kall her bali), right? so theres this dance thingy coming up, and everyones all like "woah, dance, woah, i need a date, woah, " so like, allt he guys start askin the girls, right? so eldens like "o crap, man, bali is totally gonna get asked right waya, shes so pretty!" so hes like freakin out, and really, he was right, she did get asked right away, but the thing was, she had a special guy in mind and she turned everyone down. once elden heard this, he started freaking out even more because he figured, why would a girl like bali like a guy like him? so he decided it was worth a try. he got a rose and wrote a note, and stuck it in her band cubby(shes a flute player). then, once band rolled around, elden was REALLY freakin out. finally he sees her, and what do you know, shes holding the rose with a big smile on her face. she spots him and walks up and says "yes." ald...elden feels like doing backflips.
END
-alden
There was once a squirrel named Agnus. Agnus was a lonely squirrel. One day Agnus fell in love with a wonderful maple leaf named Freddy. They were a very happy couple. Until one summer day, when Freddy and Agnus were making...uh...friction, Freddy randomly combusted, killing himself and setting fire to Agnus. Luckily, Agnus survived. Sadly, she had to go under extreme reconstructional surgery, and many long hours of group therapy, that didn't really help. Agnus became a very ugly, hairless depressed squirrel, who only wanted her life to end. So, she tied a boulder to her leg and jumped into the river. Sadly, Agnus did not drown. The string snapped, as did her back when she hit a large rock lodged in the floor of the river. Agnus was paralyzed from the waist down. now, Agnus was really tired of living, so, to end her life she put a pistol in her mouth and pulled the trigger. Tragically she coughed as she pulled the trigger, and the bullet skimmed her brain stem. After hours of grueling surgery, she was fixed. Though the left side of her face sagged, and she was paralyzed from the neck down. So months passed, and Agnus grew more depressed until she met Jorje, a wonderful snail. And tey fell deeply in love. The next few months were blissful. She made a maraculous recovery and could walk with the aide of a cane. One fine evening, they were talking and Agnus told Jorje how happy she was to be alive and how much she loved him. jorje told her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and pulled out a beautiful wedding ring. Promptly after she said yes, she was hit by a bus abd died instantly.
Moral of the story: Eating peanut butter in the rain may result in immaculate conception.
-kayla
We’ll call him Señor Butt-chin. He was flying around on his magical vibrating Harry Potter broomstick that got recalled by Toys-R-Us. He bought it off of Ebay…in the GAY section…He thought he’d visit his Uncle, drum-teching for Poison and Monster Magnet when he cummed his pants
thinking about Billy Corgan. You’re not supposed to ride those broomsticks for
more that five minutes. He crashed in a corn-field and he ran into the dudes
from “Deliverance.” Long story short - “I want to hear you squeal like a
pig boy….”
-rachel