The things I cannot fix
Fandom: Pandora Hearts
Characters: Ada & Oz Vessalius
Summary: Oz hasn't shed a tear since Elliot's death which prompts a grief-stricken Ada to visit her brother in the hopes she can help..
Warnings: Mass amounts of angst and sad things.
“Brother?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I come in?”
A pause lingered after that before Oz decided to answer her, noting the utterly devoid-of-emotion tone her brother was speaking to her in. Frowning softly, Ada pursed her lips and started forwards as she placed a hand on the door and pushed it open until she could see her brother sitting all by himself in the room. The sight was enough to tug at her heart as she knew why he was looking that way, but there was something missing.
There was not even a single tear streak on either of his cheeks and that worried her.
It had been not even four days after Elliot’s death and she herself had spent a long while in her room after hearing the news. There was that and the fact that Vincent had gone missing as well and nobody had heard from him since that incident either and it had her heart torn in two, but she knew she had to be strong for her family.
For Oz.
The way he looked at her was heartbreaking; eyes blank and a forced smile on his lips that seemed so fake. Like if the smallest thing would cause it to break down and disappear. Ada wanted her brother to smile but this was no way to be living if you didn’t let yourself grieve properly and she knew her brother was just putting up this tough face when she had been able to tell just how close Elliot and Oz had been to one another. It must have hit him rather hard but… one of the people she wished she could console about this wasn’t even here now and it hurt not being able to help more people when they were feeling so upset
.
“Hello, brother. How are you doing?” Ada offered with a smile, coming to sit next to her brother on the couch, smoothing out a fold in her dress with eyes fixed on her ‘older’ brother. “Fine. Gil and Alice have already talked to me. I’m alright.” Oz nodded solemnly and Ada clenched her hands into light fists, bunching up the pastel material of her dress as her expression grew grim and she exhaled a deep breath as she shook her head, blond locks swaying with the soft movement.
“You’re not. You haven’t… cried since then, have you?”
Oz blinked a few times before looking away from her, causing Ada to steel forwards as she placed a hand on his shoulder tentatively, surprised to feel how still he was. Not shaking. Not even feeling anything and it just caused that tightness in her chest to tighten as tears welled up in the corners of her eyes as she inhaled and exhaled a breath she hadn’t even been aware she was holding. “…Please. You can, brother. I know Elliot meant a lot to you and you don’t have to hold it all back. If you cry, it’s okay! I won’t think any less of you at all. Please… it’s alright to mourn someone when he means a lot to you..”
A drawn out silence lingered in the air before Oz shook his head, eyes still cold and blank; hiding what she could only assume as a lot of pain and anguish. She couldn’t even imagine what kind of hurt he had felt. Gilbert had told her of this and she’d almost broken down right there, clinging to him and nearly ripping his shirt with how tightly she’d been holding onto him, it taking her Uncle walking into the room before she’d had to let go of him. The hurt she had felt after knowing she’d never get to see Elliot again or see him smile was wholly heartwrenching and she just… felt even worse knowing her brother was likely holding back and trying to be strong when it was just SO agonizing.
Boys were… Boys were so stubborn. Stupid.
Their pride was so hard to break and it hurt.
Tears started to roll down her cheeks; wet and salty as it trailed down her pale skin as she bowed her head, hand falling from it’s spot on Oz’s shoulder to clench back with the other in her lap where the other rested, soft blonde bangs falling to cover her eyes as tears flowed like endless rivers without an end in sight. Her entire body was shaking lightly and she couldn’t even see with her vision so heavily blurred, wet spots darkening on her dress where they fell. Even now… Oz was barely even blinking at this show of her sadness, that empty gaze looking at her threatening to make her break down even further than she already had.
“You’re… s-so stupid, b-brother. Why… are you holding back? He meant a lot… I… stupid.. he was your friend.. stop being like this… please…”
“I can’t. I don’t need to. I will be fine, Ada. Please… don’t.”
Ada shook her head insistently as a small sob left her lips, turning and grabbing onto her brother’s sleeve as she continued to cry. “Stupid… please… i-if you won’t c-cry… t-then I’ll cry f-for the both o-of us..” she choked out between sobs, feeling her brother’s hand as it came to rest atop her head. “Ada..I… It’ll be alright…”
She knew it wouldn’t.
Though it was small, if she could cry for them both then surely it would be alright.
Ada would do anything for her stubborn brother because she truly loved him and looked up to him. She would support him no matter what he did. This being one of those things. His fingers now threaded through her hair and he moved to hold her lightly but she never once felt a single tear drop, causing her fingers to tighten within his sleeve.
The one thing she would never understand were those who couldn’t let go but… when it was this bad… the concept that Oz wouldn’t cry for his best friend’s death was something she couldn’t comprehend. Even as she cried herself to sleep in his arms, tear streaks marring her pale cheeks the only indication of just how much it was hurting her.
Not just Elliot’s death but everyone disappearing and breaking away like this.
Something they never would be able to get back.
Characters: Ada & Oz Vessalius
Summary: Oz hasn't shed a tear since Elliot's death which prompts a grief-stricken Ada to visit her brother in the hopes she can help..
Warnings: Mass amounts of angst and sad things.
“Brother?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I come in?”
A pause lingered after that before Oz decided to answer her, noting the utterly devoid-of-emotion tone her brother was speaking to her in. Frowning softly, Ada pursed her lips and started forwards as she placed a hand on the door and pushed it open until she could see her brother sitting all by himself in the room. The sight was enough to tug at her heart as she knew why he was looking that way, but there was something missing.
There was not even a single tear streak on either of his cheeks and that worried her.
It had been not even four days after Elliot’s death and she herself had spent a long while in her room after hearing the news. There was that and the fact that Vincent had gone missing as well and nobody had heard from him since that incident either and it had her heart torn in two, but she knew she had to be strong for her family.
For Oz.
The way he looked at her was heartbreaking; eyes blank and a forced smile on his lips that seemed so fake. Like if the smallest thing would cause it to break down and disappear. Ada wanted her brother to smile but this was no way to be living if you didn’t let yourself grieve properly and she knew her brother was just putting up this tough face when she had been able to tell just how close Elliot and Oz had been to one another. It must have hit him rather hard but… one of the people she wished she could console about this wasn’t even here now and it hurt not being able to help more people when they were feeling so upset
.
“Hello, brother. How are you doing?” Ada offered with a smile, coming to sit next to her brother on the couch, smoothing out a fold in her dress with eyes fixed on her ‘older’ brother. “Fine. Gil and Alice have already talked to me. I’m alright.” Oz nodded solemnly and Ada clenched her hands into light fists, bunching up the pastel material of her dress as her expression grew grim and she exhaled a deep breath as she shook her head, blond locks swaying with the soft movement.
“You’re not. You haven’t… cried since then, have you?”
Oz blinked a few times before looking away from her, causing Ada to steel forwards as she placed a hand on his shoulder tentatively, surprised to feel how still he was. Not shaking. Not even feeling anything and it just caused that tightness in her chest to tighten as tears welled up in the corners of her eyes as she inhaled and exhaled a breath she hadn’t even been aware she was holding. “…Please. You can, brother. I know Elliot meant a lot to you and you don’t have to hold it all back. If you cry, it’s okay! I won’t think any less of you at all. Please… it’s alright to mourn someone when he means a lot to you..”
A drawn out silence lingered in the air before Oz shook his head, eyes still cold and blank; hiding what she could only assume as a lot of pain and anguish. She couldn’t even imagine what kind of hurt he had felt. Gilbert had told her of this and she’d almost broken down right there, clinging to him and nearly ripping his shirt with how tightly she’d been holding onto him, it taking her Uncle walking into the room before she’d had to let go of him. The hurt she had felt after knowing she’d never get to see Elliot again or see him smile was wholly heartwrenching and she just… felt even worse knowing her brother was likely holding back and trying to be strong when it was just SO agonizing.
Boys were… Boys were so stubborn. Stupid.
Their pride was so hard to break and it hurt.
Tears started to roll down her cheeks; wet and salty as it trailed down her pale skin as she bowed her head, hand falling from it’s spot on Oz’s shoulder to clench back with the other in her lap where the other rested, soft blonde bangs falling to cover her eyes as tears flowed like endless rivers without an end in sight. Her entire body was shaking lightly and she couldn’t even see with her vision so heavily blurred, wet spots darkening on her dress where they fell. Even now… Oz was barely even blinking at this show of her sadness, that empty gaze looking at her threatening to make her break down even further than she already had.
“You’re… s-so stupid, b-brother. Why… are you holding back? He meant a lot… I… stupid.. he was your friend.. stop being like this… please…”
“I can’t. I don’t need to. I will be fine, Ada. Please… don’t.”
Ada shook her head insistently as a small sob left her lips, turning and grabbing onto her brother’s sleeve as she continued to cry. “Stupid… please… i-if you won’t c-cry… t-then I’ll cry f-for the both o-of us..” she choked out between sobs, feeling her brother’s hand as it came to rest atop her head. “Ada..I… It’ll be alright…”
She knew it wouldn’t.
Though it was small, if she could cry for them both then surely it would be alright.
Ada would do anything for her stubborn brother because she truly loved him and looked up to him. She would support him no matter what he did. This being one of those things. His fingers now threaded through her hair and he moved to hold her lightly but she never once felt a single tear drop, causing her fingers to tighten within his sleeve.
The one thing she would never understand were those who couldn’t let go but… when it was this bad… the concept that Oz wouldn’t cry for his best friend’s death was something she couldn’t comprehend. Even as she cried herself to sleep in his arms, tear streaks marring her pale cheeks the only indication of just how much it was hurting her.
Not just Elliot’s death but everyone disappearing and breaking away like this.
Something they never would be able to get back.