loving might be a mistake but its worth making

[indulgenromance]

k i talked to justin last night and evidently me and andrew arent TECHNICALLY over or so thats what andrew says, fuck i wish hed make up his mind. he ACTUALLY talked to me today it was quite interesting. i knew that we were fixing to walk right passed each other and i didnt want to make him uncomfortable so i just sorta looked away thats when i hear someone whispering my name haa he had stopped on the wall to talk to me. that was a first in the last few weeks... i like how he says my name sometimes, only sometimes. we talked he asked if i was mad, i told him no. he mentions that we should talk about everything i say, obviously. so we'll talk about it, it wont change anything i dont think. i hope not. i was just starting to cope with it then i talked to justin and he made me think alot..a lot a lot... and we've decided that i miss andrew. and thats ok and its normal i know but like i REALLY miss him. i didnt think i would this much but like i do and its baaaad... i never missed mike #1 ever.. could be the fact he treated me like shit but u know, so did andrew, kinda. turns out andrew just decides he doesnt want a girlfriend so in order to end it without breaking my heart he doesnt talk to me for a week hoping that i'll break up with him. well i only think it made things worse cuz now its like i dont even want to be his friend cuz it was shitty and very immature. but we'll see what happens when actually ME AND HIM get to talk. corey might have been lying actually, i think he was because corey came up to me and andrew today n he was like trying to push us together to hug or something, n i was like, "corey stop, seriously, its not funny anymore." CHURCH TONIGHT! kim hasnt been at school the last few days, maybe she has hepatitis or something, we can only hope, just kidding, well, not really but ya know... hope shes not "SUFFERING" i really cant stand her know what i think shes scared of me, she should be, i'd dominate and kill her like WOAH! i put all of andrews stuff in a box the other day last night i went through it again while i was talking to justin, first i was like well this is a badddd idea but it turned out for the best i think. it helped me not to BLOW UP today when andrew attempted to talk to me and it made me realize that i dont have to get over him and move to the next guy until im ready and honestly i
dont
think
i
am
....yet