(no subject)
President George Walker Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C.
To President Bush and the person reading this out loud for him:
My name is Amanda Huff. I am seventeen years old and live in a small town in Michigan. I am writing to you because I would like you to consider my candidacy to replace Justice Sandra Day O'Connor on the United States Supreme Court. I feel that I am very qualified and could be easily approved by the Senate Judiciary Committee.
I know what you must be thinking. "Seventeen? Still in high school? No experience? When can you come into town?" I know these are great qualifications, but there are nine more that I feel you should consider:
01. I am not a rich, white, conservative Christian male.
The obvious flaws with Harriet Mier and Samuel Alito. The only way I could be farther from being a rich, white, conservative Christian male would be if I were black and Jewish. While religion bothers me a little, I am willing to go through the same steps as the author of the book Black Like Me.
02. I work at a public library.
I technically work for "the man" already. Plus, I have all of these resources at my disposal to prepare for my Senate hearings next week.
03. I am seventeen and a senior in high school.
I have not been corrupted by the system [much]. That, and I am technically more qualified than you are for your position, President Bush.
04. I am aware of all of my freedoms bestowed upon me by the United States Constitution.
Thanks in particular to my AP Government class, where we have spent most of the first semester covering the Constitution. Another qualification that doubles as a reason for me to usurp the presidency.
05. I am literate.
English is my favorite subject, so I know how to speak and write it fluently. I also know the difference between real English and the words people make up when they are high, drunk or both. Not that I am implying anything, however.
06. My friends are not stupid.
At least, the ones that will be in publicity photos with me.
07. My friends do not do stupid things.
At least, well...they do not get cauth, anyway.
08. I am not stupid.
I am not old, either. Since I will be appointed for life, I will be on the bench for a long, long time. And that is a good thing. I could even be Chief Justice some day.
09. I am a liberal, especially when it comes to social issues.
No matter what anyone tells you, this is a VERY good thing. And, since I am so content with your gulliability and inability to use a dictionary [let alone your inability to read and comprehend anything], I am not worried one bit.
There we have it. Nine exceptional reasons to choose me as your final nominee to replace Justice O'Connor on the Supreme Court.
Thank you for your time,
Amanda Huff
P.S. Remember: Friends don't let friends vote Republican!
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Disclaimer to any person who might possibly be from the FBI or CIA or some other government agency that feels like tracking me down and wants to bust me for terrorism or something that totally revokes my rights as a citizen of the United States [in this case, my freedom of speech]: This is a joke...sort of.
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C.
To President Bush and the person reading this out loud for him:
My name is Amanda Huff. I am seventeen years old and live in a small town in Michigan. I am writing to you because I would like you to consider my candidacy to replace Justice Sandra Day O'Connor on the United States Supreme Court. I feel that I am very qualified and could be easily approved by the Senate Judiciary Committee.
I know what you must be thinking. "Seventeen? Still in high school? No experience? When can you come into town?" I know these are great qualifications, but there are nine more that I feel you should consider:
01. I am not a rich, white, conservative Christian male.
The obvious flaws with Harriet Mier and Samuel Alito. The only way I could be farther from being a rich, white, conservative Christian male would be if I were black and Jewish. While religion bothers me a little, I am willing to go through the same steps as the author of the book Black Like Me.
02. I work at a public library.
I technically work for "the man" already. Plus, I have all of these resources at my disposal to prepare for my Senate hearings next week.
03. I am seventeen and a senior in high school.
I have not been corrupted by the system [much]. That, and I am technically more qualified than you are for your position, President Bush.
04. I am aware of all of my freedoms bestowed upon me by the United States Constitution.
Thanks in particular to my AP Government class, where we have spent most of the first semester covering the Constitution. Another qualification that doubles as a reason for me to usurp the presidency.
05. I am literate.
English is my favorite subject, so I know how to speak and write it fluently. I also know the difference between real English and the words people make up when they are high, drunk or both. Not that I am implying anything, however.
06. My friends are not stupid.
At least, the ones that will be in publicity photos with me.
07. My friends do not do stupid things.
At least, well...they do not get cauth, anyway.
08. I am not stupid.
I am not old, either. Since I will be appointed for life, I will be on the bench for a long, long time. And that is a good thing. I could even be Chief Justice some day.
09. I am a liberal, especially when it comes to social issues.
No matter what anyone tells you, this is a VERY good thing. And, since I am so content with your gulliability and inability to use a dictionary [let alone your inability to read and comprehend anything], I am not worried one bit.
There we have it. Nine exceptional reasons to choose me as your final nominee to replace Justice O'Connor on the Supreme Court.
Thank you for your time,
Amanda Huff
P.S. Remember: Friends don't let friends vote Republican!
----------
Disclaimer to any person who might possibly be from the FBI or CIA or some other government agency that feels like tracking me down and wants to bust me for terrorism or something that totally revokes my rights as a citizen of the United States [in this case, my freedom of speech]: This is a joke...sort of.