life in general
so being nocturnal is interesting. tgi fridays closes at 2. my fashion sense/ my own style is changing. but is it me? what can i do in life? how much stuff can i possibly accomplish before i die? how many places can i visit before i die? how about italy? can i learn more languages? is there a future in being a waiter? wouldn't i love to know?
so, i'm going through withdrawals. everybody that knows me knows that i love the female sex. i have had SOO many crushes. because all girls are beautiful. and i know that i have this enfatuation with the opposite sex that isn't creepy, but i love women. thats why when people ask if i'm gay, i just shrug it off. but right now i'm in a rut. temecula is full of gorgeous girls. most of them, unfortunately, for some reason think that i'm gay. and this is b/c i care. b/c i don't act up front with the whole "hey your hot wanna bone?" persona. thats not me. my mom asks me why i don't have a girlfriend and i just use work as a crutch. it would be perfectly easy to maintain a relationship with my work schedule. but honestly, i don't know how to find that person. that person that just sees me for me. i know people have the capability. its weird, i have this mast, this facade. you have to break me down to see what i am. but what am i? i think, i'm a sensitive person who uses his head but thinks with his heart more. for people who i love and trust. i can drop everything for them. i will drop everything. but i don't see many people i am wiling to do that for, in my hometown. is this my hometown? how can it be? i have 1 friend from when i lived here before my move. nice hometown. its easy to blame it on temecula, especially when i have no idea how to make new friends without school. school was great. best thing a kid can go through is school. you meet EVERYBODY. but this. this bitter thing called life that i need to figure out. i can do it. i know i can. my brain can hold it.
so yea. girls... say hi to me
so, i'm going through withdrawals. everybody that knows me knows that i love the female sex. i have had SOO many crushes. because all girls are beautiful. and i know that i have this enfatuation with the opposite sex that isn't creepy, but i love women. thats why when people ask if i'm gay, i just shrug it off. but right now i'm in a rut. temecula is full of gorgeous girls. most of them, unfortunately, for some reason think that i'm gay. and this is b/c i care. b/c i don't act up front with the whole "hey your hot wanna bone?" persona. thats not me. my mom asks me why i don't have a girlfriend and i just use work as a crutch. it would be perfectly easy to maintain a relationship with my work schedule. but honestly, i don't know how to find that person. that person that just sees me for me. i know people have the capability. its weird, i have this mast, this facade. you have to break me down to see what i am. but what am i? i think, i'm a sensitive person who uses his head but thinks with his heart more. for people who i love and trust. i can drop everything for them. i will drop everything. but i don't see many people i am wiling to do that for, in my hometown. is this my hometown? how can it be? i have 1 friend from when i lived here before my move. nice hometown. its easy to blame it on temecula, especially when i have no idea how to make new friends without school. school was great. best thing a kid can go through is school. you meet EVERYBODY. but this. this bitter thing called life that i need to figure out. i can do it. i know i can. my brain can hold it.
so yea. girls... say hi to me