(no subject)
i love that i have random spurts of inspiration for life getting better and everything atleast having a sunny side even though as soon as i put down the piece of paper and go on to the next thing, i forget all my previously made goals and just get pushed down by whatever is going wrong next. it's like, what's the point? why do i keep building it up just to make a minimal effort to get nowhere? it's never enough, because honestly, what can you do to change things around when your life is being dictated by a new relationship and promises of things that will never happen? i'm all talk, i've realized. and it really just pisses me off.
things are going too fast, in every way possible. i don't like this whole "getting older" thing, and that's all i'm sure about anymore.
but, bright side, i'm done with my stupid ass drug classes. and, not-so-bright side, probation won't be ending until december 20th of this year. i believe that's seven months. maybe six. i don't know. i don't really care about anything anymore. i just want to do something with myself and it doesn't seem worth it to try. i'm getting nowhere fast.
i'm contradicting myself like fucking crazy.
whatever.
things are going too fast, in every way possible. i don't like this whole "getting older" thing, and that's all i'm sure about anymore.
but, bright side, i'm done with my stupid ass drug classes. and, not-so-bright side, probation won't be ending until december 20th of this year. i believe that's seven months. maybe six. i don't know. i don't really care about anything anymore. i just want to do something with myself and it doesn't seem worth it to try. i'm getting nowhere fast.
i'm contradicting myself like fucking crazy.
whatever.