call me a safe bet - I'm betting I'm not
Really, though.
I mean, I feel really evil saying this, but how can a recovering alcoholic be such a lightweight? One hit off the beer bong, and she was gone. Gone as in going according to plan until passing out in the car a mere 20 minutes later. Like, wow. It's no wonder everyone in your life is telling you to stay away from the juice. Wake up and smell the fresh sharpie. She should stop pretending to be a rock star and stop telling me that she's a reborn, mature, freshly-educated piece of work.
I mean, honestly. She became so predictable the day I told her I was "done" from that final civil conversation that we had - just from the look on her face and the sudden change in the tone of voice. It was easy for me to see that she would play these stupid high school games. Only hours after that talk, word was passed on - "she said she's going to get completely fucked up and be all over everyone there - try to put on a show to make you jealous." No shit?
Maybe 18 is too young. I thought I was hot shit at that age, too...but thanks to written records, I have been able to establish the fact that I was, indeed, just another retarded kid. But even I didn't play games. Even then, I chose honesty and straight-forwardness over depecption and social bloodthirst.
Jealousy has got to be the least productive emotion a human being can display. ...or...whatever the fuck it is...
I guess jealousy wouldn't be it. Um... Bitterness? Lots of that, but also a lot more than that. Resentment, perhaps. It's...a self-driven desire to disallow contentedness of those no longer under your influence. If there's not a word for that, there should be. Taking suggestions on what that word should be!
Anyway. Yeah, for a split second, I was split between being kinda pissed off, really depressed, and immeasurably concerned. I'll admit that I fell victim to the game that I knew was coming. But it didn't last long, and I wasn't really even given the chance to lose out any further. So it's like... *shrug*
I survived the night. That's what counts. Still undefeated in all videogames played at mikail's - minus that one blight of a game that I got my revenge for tonight. And...the rest is insignificant, I guess. Not that any of the aforementioned shit holds any relevance in the grand scheme of things. I got through another party 100% sober, and managed to follow through on all of my goals: A) no standing in a corner B) no leaving early C) making it the entire evening without having anyone ask me "are you okay?"
Big steps, I know! But you've gotta walk before you can run.
Also, pretty much everyone there (barring Specimen A) was a pretty cool drunk. That's not always the case.
I mean, I feel really evil saying this, but how can a recovering alcoholic be such a lightweight? One hit off the beer bong, and she was gone. Gone as in going according to plan until passing out in the car a mere 20 minutes later. Like, wow. It's no wonder everyone in your life is telling you to stay away from the juice. Wake up and smell the fresh sharpie. She should stop pretending to be a rock star and stop telling me that she's a reborn, mature, freshly-educated piece of work.
I mean, honestly. She became so predictable the day I told her I was "done" from that final civil conversation that we had - just from the look on her face and the sudden change in the tone of voice. It was easy for me to see that she would play these stupid high school games. Only hours after that talk, word was passed on - "she said she's going to get completely fucked up and be all over everyone there - try to put on a show to make you jealous." No shit?
Maybe 18 is too young. I thought I was hot shit at that age, too...but thanks to written records, I have been able to establish the fact that I was, indeed, just another retarded kid. But even I didn't play games. Even then, I chose honesty and straight-forwardness over depecption and social bloodthirst.
Jealousy has got to be the least productive emotion a human being can display. ...or...whatever the fuck it is...
I guess jealousy wouldn't be it. Um... Bitterness? Lots of that, but also a lot more than that. Resentment, perhaps. It's...a self-driven desire to disallow contentedness of those no longer under your influence. If there's not a word for that, there should be. Taking suggestions on what that word should be!
Anyway. Yeah, for a split second, I was split between being kinda pissed off, really depressed, and immeasurably concerned. I'll admit that I fell victim to the game that I knew was coming. But it didn't last long, and I wasn't really even given the chance to lose out any further. So it's like... *shrug*
I survived the night. That's what counts. Still undefeated in all videogames played at mikail's - minus that one blight of a game that I got my revenge for tonight. And...the rest is insignificant, I guess. Not that any of the aforementioned shit holds any relevance in the grand scheme of things. I got through another party 100% sober, and managed to follow through on all of my goals: A) no standing in a corner B) no leaving early C) making it the entire evening without having anyone ask me "are you okay?"
Big steps, I know! But you've gotta walk before you can run.
Also, pretty much everyone there (barring Specimen A) was a pretty cool drunk. That's not always the case.