don't think about all those things you feel | just be glad to be here
So I don't know...
I guess I should go back to being myself...and just do it more openly. I tried, for a mere 2 days, of violating my own personal rule number 1: no games. No messing with people's heads. No sending mixed messages or twisted signals. No...acting. No Misdirection, and no smoke or mirrors. Just be straight up 100%. ...yeah, that all kinda rolled into one. That's my briefly half-explained 'rule number 1'.
Anyway, I promised a while back not to get involved in love triangles. So upon discovering that I was putting myself right smack in the middle of another one...well, naturally, I got a little...hesitant. About the whole thing. And I made a quick choice to play it off and force myself to become less interested in her somehow. To force myself out of the picture by acting like I didn't care at all. And from there, after having realized that this is the exact kind of behavior that chicks completely dig for some odd and unexplainably fucked up reason, I then made another quick choice to roll with that for a while - see where it'd get me. But then now I'm already sick of it. I feel too out of character to continue. So now, despite the fact that for all I know and as far as I can tell it's working perfectly, I'll ditch that once more in favor of the honorably honest approach that's failed me so many times in the past. Just because it feels right somehow. So...I don't know. (again with that line)
I guess I just have to be more aggressively honest or some shit. And uphold the same genuine nature that I've got, while learning to be a little bit more on the ball. I'm going to quit being so introspective and drawn into my own head and try to communicate with her. Some way or another, I'll have to take the initiative tomorrow to let her into my web of confusing-ass thoughts. (typing that reminded me of http://xkcd.com/c37.html good times)
Finding that comic got me more distracted than an hour spent on wikipedia. I've lost my will to write and I should be going to bed anyway.
I guess I should go back to being myself...and just do it more openly. I tried, for a mere 2 days, of violating my own personal rule number 1: no games. No messing with people's heads. No sending mixed messages or twisted signals. No...acting. No Misdirection, and no smoke or mirrors. Just be straight up 100%. ...yeah, that all kinda rolled into one. That's my briefly half-explained 'rule number 1'.
Anyway, I promised a while back not to get involved in love triangles. So upon discovering that I was putting myself right smack in the middle of another one...well, naturally, I got a little...hesitant. About the whole thing. And I made a quick choice to play it off and force myself to become less interested in her somehow. To force myself out of the picture by acting like I didn't care at all. And from there, after having realized that this is the exact kind of behavior that chicks completely dig for some odd and unexplainably fucked up reason, I then made another quick choice to roll with that for a while - see where it'd get me. But then now I'm already sick of it. I feel too out of character to continue. So now, despite the fact that for all I know and as far as I can tell it's working perfectly, I'll ditch that once more in favor of the honorably honest approach that's failed me so many times in the past. Just because it feels right somehow. So...I don't know. (again with that line)
I guess I just have to be more aggressively honest or some shit. And uphold the same genuine nature that I've got, while learning to be a little bit more on the ball. I'm going to quit being so introspective and drawn into my own head and try to communicate with her. Some way or another, I'll have to take the initiative tomorrow to let her into my web of confusing-ass thoughts. (typing that reminded me of http://xkcd.com/c37.html good times)
Finding that comic got me more distracted than an hour spent on wikipedia. I've lost my will to write and I should be going to bed anyway.