Fic: Of Whom Shall I Be Afraid? (Cara/Kahlan)
Title: Of Whom Shall I be Afraid?
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Rating: PG
Summary: Kahlan talking about her relationship with the seeker- Cara
A/N: Written for legendland for the mini mashup
She is Seeker. I Confessor.
Our love written in stars. Prophesised. Foretold.
And yet. So unexpected. Leaving me breathless. Restless. Parts of me long dormant. Thrum excitedly. Thrilled. Tantalised. Alive. For the first time. The only time.
Spring after a long winter. Warmth on my skin. Awoken. Refreshed. The world anew.
All because of her.
She is Mord'sith. I Confessor.
Mortal enemies. As old as time. Two sides of a coin. Love and pain. Justice and truth. Not so different when you look at it.
Still. My heart beats faster. Cheeks flush. Min races. For her. Because of her.
Tell myself she is different. That war is over. She is ally. Friend. Lover. She is not who is once was.
I see the looks. The stares. Angry. Hate hardened. As my fingers enclose hers. Using her strength. Reminding me. Despite their disapproval. Why I do this. Why this is right. Why I no longer care. What they say. What they think. Reminding me. This is my life. My love. My choice.
***
I will follow wherever she goes.
My constant. In this ever changing world. The swirling chaos of war. Strong and steady. An unyielding rock. On which I shall build. My hopes and dreams. Life and live. On which I can depend. To anchor me. To life and all that it offers. All it can offer with her. Here and now. Near me. With me.
I will weather the storm. Travel the raging river.
Knowing she is there. To hold on to. Safety amidst the torrent. Beauty amongst the massacres. Reminding me. That hope lives on. That it is far from hopeless.
This life is a storming river. But beside her. I may travel it safely. Traverse it unharmed. Come out at the end. Battered. Bruised. But stronger for it.
Even as the rain pours down. Washing blood from our bodies. Clogging the earth. Water logging bodies. Thundering. Storming. It cannot hurt me. Does not touch me. For I am safe. Despite everything. It can only cleanse me. Wash away the others sin. Refresh me. Bringing new life. A clean state.
***
She will never admit it. Not to me. Probably not even to herself. But she needs me. As I need her. We are two halves of the same whole. Seeker and Confessor. As it has been so many times before. As it will be again. Even with her darkness. Her unorthodox nature. This is always how it would be.
To share her smiles and her laughter. The joy shining through her eyes. Rare. But never missed. Cherished. On every occasion. Always just below the surface. If you look. As I do.
A sparkle in her green orbs. Many would miss. But I never could.
Juxtaposed. Constant contradiction. By the ending pain. Her own personal torture. Every death ways on my warrior.
In these moments she is not the Seeker. She is more human than legend. Broken and torn. Fighting a battle she never asked for. For the freedom of people who were never hers. Just because it is right. Just. True.
I share her sorrow. Her joy and her pain. As Confessor. As lover. I would have it no other way. For every blinding smile/ Ten sleepless nights. Yet to me, they are worth it. To share this. All of it. Is worth it.
And one day, the death will end. Peace will rule. And the dreams will come less frequently. We will be mated. Have a thousand happy days. Live a life outside this war. Away from death. Pain. Apart from it all. A life all our won. Of our choosing.
Whisper such words. As she drifts back to sleep. Head upon me shoulder. Sobs subdued. Watch the fear. The sadness. Everything lift from her brow. As peace wins out. As it always shall.
***
She is light in the darkness. The shining point. When all seems lost. When all is lost. She is still there. Reminding me. There is still something. Something to fight for. Something that can be done.
I have spent my life searching. Without seeing. For her. What she stands for. Represents. For what she means to me. For this. This unknowable thing. This unfathomable thing she makes me feel. For her lights.
I have stumbled. In the shadows. Cast around her. Swallowing the world. Covering it in perpetual night. Whilst she is only day. Without her. Before her. I could not see. No point of reference. Blind faith. Flailing. Hoping for the right path. The true path. In a world of darkness. The Blind Confessor is no Queen. Merely a fellow slave.
But when she is with me. I find I am not afraid. Of the things that lurk in the darkness. Of the unknown.
She is the thing of nightmares. With her. Of whom shall I be afraid?
***
I stood there once. A lifetime ago. Or so it seems. Passing judgement. Doing my duty. Hand clutched around her throat. Ready to condemn. Punish. Pass sentence. Knowing the outcome. Judge. Jury. Executioner.
And then I searched her eyes. A seemingly futile gesture. Should not be able to read her. Not how it works. And yet.
And yet I could. I can. There. In the depths of her eyes. Where should only lie a void. There lays hope. My hope. Everyone else’s. And so much more. Sorrow and pain. Anguish for past deeds.
***
Haunted. By faces. Of men killed. Children left orphaned. Wives widowed. Confessed. Enslaved. Takes its toll. Eventually.
Wake from nightmares. Terrified. Screaming. Unable to move.
And then she was there. My saviour. My soothing balm. Fighting back the monsters. Battling my demons. Driving the ghosts from my door.
As sweat cools on my brow. Images flood my mind. Her soft words fill my ears. Grounding me. Showing me. What is real. Reminding me. Why we fight.
It is all I need. More than I ever dared dream of.
I could say she is my world. My love. My everything. A terrible cliché. And yet I fear it is true. Or as close to truth as I can know.
I would be lost without her. Some nights. Those are the dreams that plague me. Of a world without her face. Of a night without her beside me.
And so i fight. To keep her safe. To keep me sane.
I have lost so much in this world. This war. Friends. Family. I cannot lose her too. Will not let her go. I would chase her to the underworld. Fight the Keeper for her soul. For even a second longer.
***
I lay dying. And she kneels beside me.
I can feel her hand. Pressed softly against my face. I can hear her voice. Begging me. To hold on. Hold out. Not to leave her. Alone. I can taste her tears. As they fall on my cheeks. Salty and desperate.
It is hard to breathe. Each intake of air agony. Each heart beat a struggle. But I continue on. For her. Each one for her. To be with her, just a second long. For the possibility of a future. Hoping. Zedd will find a cure.
Eyes close. No strength left. Feel every ounce of it leave me. As darkness clouds my mind. She lays down beside me. Her arms around me. Tight. Strong. Shaking.
Feel my last breath leave my body. The Keeper tug at my soul.
As soon as I feel it, it is gone. As warmth returns. And air and strength and life.
See the relief in her eyes. I have made it through.
This time.
***
Together in every moment. Good and bad.
Fighting beside me. Back to back. Circles of dead. Mount up at our feet. Move as one. Until all enemies have fallen. All foes slain.
We are death. Swift . Graceful. Beautiful. Quick and decisive. None can stand to us.
As the last falls. Catch her eye. Cheeks flushed. Breath laboured. Eyes gleaming.
Rush to her. Fall into her arms. Into her. Covered in blood and mud. Sweat and tears. Make love on the battlefield. Safe in each others arms. Alive.
Share passion. In this terrible place, Find some joy in this world. In each other. At the tips of her fingers. At the touch of her tongue. At the skill of her hands.
Our celebration. Of victory. Of love. Of life.
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Rating: PG
Summary: Kahlan talking about her relationship with the seeker- Cara
A/N: Written for legendland for the mini mashup
She is Seeker. I Confessor.
Our love written in stars. Prophesised. Foretold.
And yet. So unexpected. Leaving me breathless. Restless. Parts of me long dormant. Thrum excitedly. Thrilled. Tantalised. Alive. For the first time. The only time.
Spring after a long winter. Warmth on my skin. Awoken. Refreshed. The world anew.
All because of her.
She is Mord'sith. I Confessor.
Mortal enemies. As old as time. Two sides of a coin. Love and pain. Justice and truth. Not so different when you look at it.
Still. My heart beats faster. Cheeks flush. Min races. For her. Because of her.
Tell myself she is different. That war is over. She is ally. Friend. Lover. She is not who is once was.
I see the looks. The stares. Angry. Hate hardened. As my fingers enclose hers. Using her strength. Reminding me. Despite their disapproval. Why I do this. Why this is right. Why I no longer care. What they say. What they think. Reminding me. This is my life. My love. My choice.
***
I will follow wherever she goes.
My constant. In this ever changing world. The swirling chaos of war. Strong and steady. An unyielding rock. On which I shall build. My hopes and dreams. Life and live. On which I can depend. To anchor me. To life and all that it offers. All it can offer with her. Here and now. Near me. With me.
I will weather the storm. Travel the raging river.
Knowing she is there. To hold on to. Safety amidst the torrent. Beauty amongst the massacres. Reminding me. That hope lives on. That it is far from hopeless.
This life is a storming river. But beside her. I may travel it safely. Traverse it unharmed. Come out at the end. Battered. Bruised. But stronger for it.
Even as the rain pours down. Washing blood from our bodies. Clogging the earth. Water logging bodies. Thundering. Storming. It cannot hurt me. Does not touch me. For I am safe. Despite everything. It can only cleanse me. Wash away the others sin. Refresh me. Bringing new life. A clean state.
***
She will never admit it. Not to me. Probably not even to herself. But she needs me. As I need her. We are two halves of the same whole. Seeker and Confessor. As it has been so many times before. As it will be again. Even with her darkness. Her unorthodox nature. This is always how it would be.
To share her smiles and her laughter. The joy shining through her eyes. Rare. But never missed. Cherished. On every occasion. Always just below the surface. If you look. As I do.
A sparkle in her green orbs. Many would miss. But I never could.
Juxtaposed. Constant contradiction. By the ending pain. Her own personal torture. Every death ways on my warrior.
In these moments she is not the Seeker. She is more human than legend. Broken and torn. Fighting a battle she never asked for. For the freedom of people who were never hers. Just because it is right. Just. True.
I share her sorrow. Her joy and her pain. As Confessor. As lover. I would have it no other way. For every blinding smile/ Ten sleepless nights. Yet to me, they are worth it. To share this. All of it. Is worth it.
And one day, the death will end. Peace will rule. And the dreams will come less frequently. We will be mated. Have a thousand happy days. Live a life outside this war. Away from death. Pain. Apart from it all. A life all our won. Of our choosing.
Whisper such words. As she drifts back to sleep. Head upon me shoulder. Sobs subdued. Watch the fear. The sadness. Everything lift from her brow. As peace wins out. As it always shall.
***
She is light in the darkness. The shining point. When all seems lost. When all is lost. She is still there. Reminding me. There is still something. Something to fight for. Something that can be done.
I have spent my life searching. Without seeing. For her. What she stands for. Represents. For what she means to me. For this. This unknowable thing. This unfathomable thing she makes me feel. For her lights.
I have stumbled. In the shadows. Cast around her. Swallowing the world. Covering it in perpetual night. Whilst she is only day. Without her. Before her. I could not see. No point of reference. Blind faith. Flailing. Hoping for the right path. The true path. In a world of darkness. The Blind Confessor is no Queen. Merely a fellow slave.
But when she is with me. I find I am not afraid. Of the things that lurk in the darkness. Of the unknown.
She is the thing of nightmares. With her. Of whom shall I be afraid?
***
I stood there once. A lifetime ago. Or so it seems. Passing judgement. Doing my duty. Hand clutched around her throat. Ready to condemn. Punish. Pass sentence. Knowing the outcome. Judge. Jury. Executioner.
And then I searched her eyes. A seemingly futile gesture. Should not be able to read her. Not how it works. And yet.
And yet I could. I can. There. In the depths of her eyes. Where should only lie a void. There lays hope. My hope. Everyone else’s. And so much more. Sorrow and pain. Anguish for past deeds.
***
Haunted. By faces. Of men killed. Children left orphaned. Wives widowed. Confessed. Enslaved. Takes its toll. Eventually.
Wake from nightmares. Terrified. Screaming. Unable to move.
And then she was there. My saviour. My soothing balm. Fighting back the monsters. Battling my demons. Driving the ghosts from my door.
As sweat cools on my brow. Images flood my mind. Her soft words fill my ears. Grounding me. Showing me. What is real. Reminding me. Why we fight.
It is all I need. More than I ever dared dream of.
I could say she is my world. My love. My everything. A terrible cliché. And yet I fear it is true. Or as close to truth as I can know.
I would be lost without her. Some nights. Those are the dreams that plague me. Of a world without her face. Of a night without her beside me.
And so i fight. To keep her safe. To keep me sane.
I have lost so much in this world. This war. Friends. Family. I cannot lose her too. Will not let her go. I would chase her to the underworld. Fight the Keeper for her soul. For even a second longer.
***
I lay dying. And she kneels beside me.
I can feel her hand. Pressed softly against my face. I can hear her voice. Begging me. To hold on. Hold out. Not to leave her. Alone. I can taste her tears. As they fall on my cheeks. Salty and desperate.
It is hard to breathe. Each intake of air agony. Each heart beat a struggle. But I continue on. For her. Each one for her. To be with her, just a second long. For the possibility of a future. Hoping. Zedd will find a cure.
Eyes close. No strength left. Feel every ounce of it leave me. As darkness clouds my mind. She lays down beside me. Her arms around me. Tight. Strong. Shaking.
Feel my last breath leave my body. The Keeper tug at my soul.
As soon as I feel it, it is gone. As warmth returns. And air and strength and life.
See the relief in her eyes. I have made it through.
This time.
***
Together in every moment. Good and bad.
Fighting beside me. Back to back. Circles of dead. Mount up at our feet. Move as one. Until all enemies have fallen. All foes slain.
We are death. Swift . Graceful. Beautiful. Quick and decisive. None can stand to us.
As the last falls. Catch her eye. Cheeks flushed. Breath laboured. Eyes gleaming.
Rush to her. Fall into her arms. Into her. Covered in blood and mud. Sweat and tears. Make love on the battlefield. Safe in each others arms. Alive.
Share passion. In this terrible place, Find some joy in this world. In each other. At the tips of her fingers. At the touch of her tongue. At the skill of her hands.
Our celebration. Of victory. Of love. Of life.