January 29th 2004
Lazy Thursday Early Afternoons @ 01:31 pm
Current Mood: okay okay
Current Music: Belle and Sebastian "Expectations"
I can only enjoy this feeling for a tad more, for in a bit I am going out with Jamie (not that we aren't alredy totally together according to shameless gossip) to get her (hopefully) new wave hairdo, alcohol, and probably coke (tm).
I had an odd dream last night that proves that I am, in fact, a huge hypocrite when it comes to love and trust issues.
I dreamt I was in bed (not sexually just lying in bed) with this guy and we were talking, he had to go away for a month and I guess we were serious due to the conversation, and the whole idea of "what if someone tries to sleep with me what should I do" (he asked).
I went into this dissertation of sorts of how I did not care, but would trust that he gave a damn about me he wouldn't do it, but I do not own him nor am one to tell him to do whatever he wants to do with his life, and that I cannot answer that question cause I am not him, but that I preferred for him to use good judgement.
Flash to him being in this situation and saying "no Jenn rocks" (obviously I do). Cut to me at the same time somewhere else with another guy trying to get up in my mix and I cave.
Lesson learned: Im a hypocrite and weak to hot men.
Neither of which is bad since I am far from the relationship exit on the love highway and taking my time through Singleville willingly.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Thankfully I am not a hypocrite nor weak to hot men, well in a bad way. Obviously I have my internal moments but I have matured and make smarter decisions? Maybe?
Anyway weekend updates:
Saturday: Went to the gym, Paul was going to come with but his ear was killing him. I came, I saw, I sweat. I came home and then had to make and photo a bunch of stuff for etsy, and then the longest part: editing. By the time I was done with all of that it was 6PM and I was just angry that my day went by at the blink of an eye
Sunday aka Today: Woke up early so went to the gym early (after drinking coffee to give me energy to leave). I came I saw I sweat. I also lost 7 pounds since Pittsburgh, which was the weight I put on (beer and bloat!) so that was nice. I am not trying to lose weight really just be in better shape. Came home, sat on the couch for two hours thinking of everything that I had to do but doing nothing! I just got out of the shower and after this entry am going to do my fucking taxes, which I hope goes by REAL fast as I have literally a dozen things to pack up for Etsy, oat prep for a few days, drums to practice, and dishes to do, and I suppose dinner to make.
I am proud that I went to the gym the past three days, aka the only days during the week when I have enough time to not be going until I hit the bed. It really is helping me feel better mentally too as I exhaust myself and my mind gets to shut off its constant to do list, which might be the best benefit. If I didnt have drums and Etsy I'd try to go everyday but alas those exist and I am not ready to stop those.
Paul got yet another medication for his freaking ears, a stronger one, and if these dont work the next is some questionable oral antibiotics. Take care of your ears people!
I am not looking forward to returning to work as I cannot see the end of myself being overworked. Why aren't I just stupidly rich so I can live that life of leisure I desire?
Okay I really gotta go and get started on this massive list of shit
Xoxox
Jenn
Current Mood: okay okay
Current Music: Belle and Sebastian "Expectations"
I can only enjoy this feeling for a tad more, for in a bit I am going out with Jamie (not that we aren't alredy totally together according to shameless gossip) to get her (hopefully) new wave hairdo, alcohol, and probably coke (tm).
I had an odd dream last night that proves that I am, in fact, a huge hypocrite when it comes to love and trust issues.
I dreamt I was in bed (not sexually just lying in bed) with this guy and we were talking, he had to go away for a month and I guess we were serious due to the conversation, and the whole idea of "what if someone tries to sleep with me what should I do" (he asked).
I went into this dissertation of sorts of how I did not care, but would trust that he gave a damn about me he wouldn't do it, but I do not own him nor am one to tell him to do whatever he wants to do with his life, and that I cannot answer that question cause I am not him, but that I preferred for him to use good judgement.
Flash to him being in this situation and saying "no Jenn rocks" (obviously I do). Cut to me at the same time somewhere else with another guy trying to get up in my mix and I cave.
Lesson learned: Im a hypocrite and weak to hot men.
Neither of which is bad since I am far from the relationship exit on the love highway and taking my time through Singleville willingly.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Thankfully I am not a hypocrite nor weak to hot men, well in a bad way. Obviously I have my internal moments but I have matured and make smarter decisions? Maybe?
Anyway weekend updates:
Saturday: Went to the gym, Paul was going to come with but his ear was killing him. I came, I saw, I sweat. I came home and then had to make and photo a bunch of stuff for etsy, and then the longest part: editing. By the time I was done with all of that it was 6PM and I was just angry that my day went by at the blink of an eye
Sunday aka Today: Woke up early so went to the gym early (after drinking coffee to give me energy to leave). I came I saw I sweat. I also lost 7 pounds since Pittsburgh, which was the weight I put on (beer and bloat!) so that was nice. I am not trying to lose weight really just be in better shape. Came home, sat on the couch for two hours thinking of everything that I had to do but doing nothing! I just got out of the shower and after this entry am going to do my fucking taxes, which I hope goes by REAL fast as I have literally a dozen things to pack up for Etsy, oat prep for a few days, drums to practice, and dishes to do, and I suppose dinner to make.
I am proud that I went to the gym the past three days, aka the only days during the week when I have enough time to not be going until I hit the bed. It really is helping me feel better mentally too as I exhaust myself and my mind gets to shut off its constant to do list, which might be the best benefit. If I didnt have drums and Etsy I'd try to go everyday but alas those exist and I am not ready to stop those.
Paul got yet another medication for his freaking ears, a stronger one, and if these dont work the next is some questionable oral antibiotics. Take care of your ears people!
I am not looking forward to returning to work as I cannot see the end of myself being overworked. Why aren't I just stupidly rich so I can live that life of leisure I desire?
Okay I really gotta go and get started on this massive list of shit
Xoxox
Jenn