the pieces of my heart are missing you
This must be the low point. dear livejournal, today I was stung by 5 hornets consecutively down the entire right side of my body ending very attractively on the ass. I then proceeded to swell to the size of God knows what because thankfully He didnt give me an arial view of what was going on back there. I have now taken two anti-histamines which gave me severe poison reaction symptoms and have made me incredibly loopy so naturally I decided to frequent you to see what kind of gems I could come up with to decipher later. My heart beat was racing and I felt like I was on some kind of morphine heroine...if ever such a thing existed. If I died, I'm pretty sure Luca would find me to laugh at me for dying of bee stings. I don't usually say things like that...it seems like a very naive way to look at it, but sometimes simple things like believing hes somewhere laughing at me for getting stung on my ass is what makes things almost ok. and I miss his laugh. It's not much better being home either...leaving was like leaving him all over again but this time knowing he wasnt waiting for me to come back. and my familys tired of me. they wouldnt say it, except maybe dad in his own way, but I know theyre just tired of me being like this all the time. I don't know what makes it better, I have no plans anymore. Today's agenda is to survive quintuple hornet venom and go to sleep as soon as possible. and realize that there are some people you can't rely on to talk to anymore because maybe theyre too afraid that you want to talk about something they want left alone. when it isnt the case at all. and really I just needed to see that he was ok...physically, healthily ok and not thinking about killing himself and not going to leave me alone and not leaving me with things I would never get the chance to say. I don't really care if thats strange...nothing makes much sense to me right now. So I'm not concerned with the other things that used to make me upset, and now seem so very little in comparison. I think my italian music is going to be quarrantined for a while.