"If you rescue me, I'll be your friend forever. Let me in your bed, I'll keep you warm in winter..."
Click to viewI still believe in love.
It's hard to say what that means right now.
I sometimes think I make so much of love because I'm not very good at it.
Working on another letter to someone I have loved and not been particularly good to over the past year.
And, despite all expectations that I had made myself utterly intolerable and inaccessible, today, I still found notes in my mailbox and chocolate tucked behind my doorknob, dinner invitations, kisses on the mouth, and good company at broad wooden tables.
I know that I've been blessed with many different kinds of love. I know that I've been increasingly withdrawn and selfishly protective, and haven't quite figured out why. I know that I do care about the people in my life (and a few I'm missing from it). I know that I wish I could show it more often, and shake off my hedgehog's-dilemma bullshit.
If you are reading this, I love you, and miss you, and am sorry for being so far away sometimes.
Happy Belated Valentine's Day,
Amanda
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