School, singing, life, stuff
So today i got to sing in a choir in front of an audience and everything.
I primped the hair and makeup.
I wore a lovely dress.
I made sure I had lots of water.
I went and sang.
I drove home alternately smiling and crying because it was wonderful - and there was no ne there for me at all.
School has been crazy. For my calc class I will be happy if I pass with a C, though I am still aiming hard for a B. Calc lab is a little better. the political class from asia - i better get a freaking B or above, that teacher is a mess. I am so sick of hearing about his experiences and how that makes him an expert. for the engineering design class - that has been the most fun and rewarding I suppose. for a team project we are building a playground music center which goes right with my own passions and desires for the future. but it is very time intensive. she has assigned an insane amount of homework, insane.
and on all that i am working full time, and professionally doing very well at a job i am at best indifferent to. awesome.
I have post-concert blues. and on top of that i am lonely as hell. i feel very insignificant and disappearable. and for some reason that matters tonight.