64// i'm not always like this, it's something i become
Oh, hello, LiveJournal. How's tricks?
I'm finally back in Chicago for the summer. I've been home about four days and all my bags and bins are still sitting on the floor of my bedroom staring at me. It's too overwhelming to try and unpack. Especially since there's some strangely large part of me that seems to think I don't need to, I'll just be back home in a week or two. I can't even begin to register that I have two and a half months ahead of me (until I escape to the UK). I don't necessarily think it's because I don't want to be here, it's more that I would just rather be there. My friends and I were saying that it would be wonderful if there were just several weeks after all the chaos of finals was over where we just stayed and hung out, did all the things none of us had the time to do when we wanted to. It's a nice dream.
But I am grateful for the break, for the chance just to rest for awhile, prepare for my apartment. I'm teaching myself how to cook. I've never really tried to cook anything that didn't come out of a box. I can bake pretty well, but I've never really tried to cook a meal that wasn't macaroni and cheese or a sandwich. So I made my first attempt last night, and was pleasantly surprised that it actually came out really well. I'd never even tried it before, so I had to rely on my dad telling me it looked and tasted right. ;) I made ratatouille. It was surprisingly easy and I did not blow up the kitchen. I am thinking I may have domestic potential. Hahaha. I mean, I have the knitting down, right? Now the cooking, and now we just have to work on the cleaning. I get the feeling that will take more than a conveniently available instruction book. Hehe. Actually, though, I have been even doing better with that, just since being home. I've actually made effort to clean dishes, put them in the dishwasher, I even made my bed one day. I'm not a total loss after all. ;) And, I'm trying to start following my parents' diet, to shed all the wieght that the steroids threw on me during my recovery, and so far it's...making me very hungry. Haha. Mom says I will get beyond that soon but I am thinking, "not soon enough!"
I'm glad to have my own room again. There are some people I miss desperately, and wish I could still stumble out of my room in the morning to meet their smiling (or equally groggy) faces in the bathroom, but I don't miss sharing a room at this point. But that's a whole different long story that I won't get into. Suffice to say, an apartment across campus with a completely different roommate looks really good to me right now. Even if I'm not crazy about some of my apartment mates.
But honestly, for right now, I'm just...bored. I mean, I do like not being stressed and exhausted and overwhelmed with work, but at the same time, I thrive on that kind of thing, and when I don't have anything to do I just kind of...become an unmotivated vegetable. Requirements, due dates, and assignments motivate me. Without motivation, I just...get really apathetic. That's probably why I still don't have a license. Having my own car wasn't much of an incentive to me in high school, especially since my parents were willing to drive everywhere and I could just give in to all my anxieties and avoid my fears. Oh well, I'm digressing.
Anyway, yeah. I've spent most of my time on the computer since I've been home, and I'm quickly growing bored with that. I mean really, one can only play so many online solitaire and word games before one shoves the computer on the floor and...starts flipping through TV channels. o.O So I've decided to clean tonight, make myself unpack everything and put it away and make my room look nice again. My mom and I are going to start language lessons with Rosetta Stone soon as well. Mom wants to do it because she heard learning a language can be one of the best ways to keep your mind sharp as you get older, better than crossword puzzles and such. I want to do it because over the last year I've realized how much I love the sound and flow of French, and I would love to be able to speak even a little bit, and understand a little bit. So I'm going to do that, I'm going to work on French, and Mom's going to try learning Spanish. That way I can help her a little bit. It's surprising how much of it I still remember and can use, even though I haven't taken it in three years. I took two semesters of Koine (Biblical) Greek when I got to college, and this year I've taken two semesters of Latin, both because I find ancient languages and history fascinating and I thought they would be good foundations for English (or now medical activities...now I'll know what all those latin medical terms mean ;D). But now I want to go back to French. I started French in second grade, and continued for a year or two but never really made much of an effort. I really, really wish I had, now. I started Spanish a few years later and continued with it in Jr. High and High School. Ah well, I'm rambling again, I apologize.
Once we start that up that'll give me something to concentrate on. That and trying to drive again. But for right now, I'm just kind of bored. And it's so drearily cold for almost being summer! I love cloudy, stormy weather, but not when it's just stagnant gray, and not when it's just cold but sunny. That's just cruel.
Ah well, I should get on with cleaning. Blessings to you all.
I'm finally back in Chicago for the summer. I've been home about four days and all my bags and bins are still sitting on the floor of my bedroom staring at me. It's too overwhelming to try and unpack. Especially since there's some strangely large part of me that seems to think I don't need to, I'll just be back home in a week or two. I can't even begin to register that I have two and a half months ahead of me (until I escape to the UK). I don't necessarily think it's because I don't want to be here, it's more that I would just rather be there. My friends and I were saying that it would be wonderful if there were just several weeks after all the chaos of finals was over where we just stayed and hung out, did all the things none of us had the time to do when we wanted to. It's a nice dream.
But I am grateful for the break, for the chance just to rest for awhile, prepare for my apartment. I'm teaching myself how to cook. I've never really tried to cook anything that didn't come out of a box. I can bake pretty well, but I've never really tried to cook a meal that wasn't macaroni and cheese or a sandwich. So I made my first attempt last night, and was pleasantly surprised that it actually came out really well. I'd never even tried it before, so I had to rely on my dad telling me it looked and tasted right. ;) I made ratatouille. It was surprisingly easy and I did not blow up the kitchen. I am thinking I may have domestic potential. Hahaha. I mean, I have the knitting down, right? Now the cooking, and now we just have to work on the cleaning. I get the feeling that will take more than a conveniently available instruction book. Hehe. Actually, though, I have been even doing better with that, just since being home. I've actually made effort to clean dishes, put them in the dishwasher, I even made my bed one day. I'm not a total loss after all. ;) And, I'm trying to start following my parents' diet, to shed all the wieght that the steroids threw on me during my recovery, and so far it's...making me very hungry. Haha. Mom says I will get beyond that soon but I am thinking, "not soon enough!"
I'm glad to have my own room again. There are some people I miss desperately, and wish I could still stumble out of my room in the morning to meet their smiling (or equally groggy) faces in the bathroom, but I don't miss sharing a room at this point. But that's a whole different long story that I won't get into. Suffice to say, an apartment across campus with a completely different roommate looks really good to me right now. Even if I'm not crazy about some of my apartment mates.
But honestly, for right now, I'm just...bored. I mean, I do like not being stressed and exhausted and overwhelmed with work, but at the same time, I thrive on that kind of thing, and when I don't have anything to do I just kind of...become an unmotivated vegetable. Requirements, due dates, and assignments motivate me. Without motivation, I just...get really apathetic. That's probably why I still don't have a license. Having my own car wasn't much of an incentive to me in high school, especially since my parents were willing to drive everywhere and I could just give in to all my anxieties and avoid my fears. Oh well, I'm digressing.
Anyway, yeah. I've spent most of my time on the computer since I've been home, and I'm quickly growing bored with that. I mean really, one can only play so many online solitaire and word games before one shoves the computer on the floor and...starts flipping through TV channels. o.O So I've decided to clean tonight, make myself unpack everything and put it away and make my room look nice again. My mom and I are going to start language lessons with Rosetta Stone soon as well. Mom wants to do it because she heard learning a language can be one of the best ways to keep your mind sharp as you get older, better than crossword puzzles and such. I want to do it because over the last year I've realized how much I love the sound and flow of French, and I would love to be able to speak even a little bit, and understand a little bit. So I'm going to do that, I'm going to work on French, and Mom's going to try learning Spanish. That way I can help her a little bit. It's surprising how much of it I still remember and can use, even though I haven't taken it in three years. I took two semesters of Koine (Biblical) Greek when I got to college, and this year I've taken two semesters of Latin, both because I find ancient languages and history fascinating and I thought they would be good foundations for English (or now medical activities...now I'll know what all those latin medical terms mean ;D). But now I want to go back to French. I started French in second grade, and continued for a year or two but never really made much of an effort. I really, really wish I had, now. I started Spanish a few years later and continued with it in Jr. High and High School. Ah well, I'm rambling again, I apologize.
Once we start that up that'll give me something to concentrate on. That and trying to drive again. But for right now, I'm just kind of bored. And it's so drearily cold for almost being summer! I love cloudy, stormy weather, but not when it's just stagnant gray, and not when it's just cold but sunny. That's just cruel.
Ah well, I should get on with cleaning. Blessings to you all.