lies and deception
I'm so upset right now I'm shaking. I once had a so called "friend" in high school that I loved to death, we were closer then peas and carrots. I had known her and been friends with her ever since elementary school. We lived only 4 doors down from one another which made it easy growing up to spend lots of time together building our bond, until one day she broke that bond. I trusted her so much and thought that she loved me just as much as I loved her, but somewhere along the line she turned evil and deceiving. She spread rumors about me (yes my own friend) and lied to me all the time and even somehow was able to break up the relationship I had at the time. I haven't had any close girlfriends since that, my trust and heart was so damaged by her true evilness to hurt a friend so close and dear that it's taken me years to recover.
It wasn't until college and I met the girls that I live with now that I actually let other girls into my heart again and allow myself to become close and actually have girl friends. Up to this point I had only had guy friends because they're honest and true unlike girls. Now once again that trust and love inside of me has been crushed and I don't know what to do. I found out that one of my own roommates has deceived me in a dirty wrong way that anyone with a heart would never do. I'm not going to say what it was but only that I have another wound that will surely scar and that scar will be a constant reminder that I can never let people in, that I can never have close girlfriends, because they lie, and hurt their so called friends in the most awful ways with no remorse.
But you know what that's fine. I don't need "friends" anyway, I'm almost done here, I will be graduating this summer and I will be able to get far far away from this evil place - god I can't wait to get out of this fucking town and most importantly out of this damn apartment!!!! I will leave this place with no friends and that's the way I want it. I will spend the rest of my time here focusing on school and allowing myself to heal and try to recover so that I can move to Colorado and continue my search for a real friend, because there are none here.
It wasn't until college and I met the girls that I live with now that I actually let other girls into my heart again and allow myself to become close and actually have girl friends. Up to this point I had only had guy friends because they're honest and true unlike girls. Now once again that trust and love inside of me has been crushed and I don't know what to do. I found out that one of my own roommates has deceived me in a dirty wrong way that anyone with a heart would never do. I'm not going to say what it was but only that I have another wound that will surely scar and that scar will be a constant reminder that I can never let people in, that I can never have close girlfriends, because they lie, and hurt their so called friends in the most awful ways with no remorse.
But you know what that's fine. I don't need "friends" anyway, I'm almost done here, I will be graduating this summer and I will be able to get far far away from this evil place - god I can't wait to get out of this fucking town and most importantly out of this damn apartment!!!! I will leave this place with no friends and that's the way I want it. I will spend the rest of my time here focusing on school and allowing myself to heal and try to recover so that I can move to Colorado and continue my search for a real friend, because there are none here.