Awake again....
*She blinks awake- as if on command.... bound to the cold examining table- the masked man and when she sees herself standing with him she wants to skitter back against the wall... she test her bonds and they hold her fast to the table as she moves about futilely. Her eyes linger to the woman wearing her face and she knows she shouldn't speak... but she can't help herself.... she hisses at her double, "Bene Tleilaxu....." It scares her when the woman looking at her like she were a little mouse hisses back in her voice, "Bene Tleilaxu".
The masked man leaned over her and whispered to her, she wanted to turn her head away and not listen to him... to make him not exist anymore.... she swears she saw his mask smiling at her as he looked into her dark birdlike eyes... "we have *so* much to talk about... and so little time. She's asked that you only be kept for a brief examination, unfortunately..." His words made her want to scream... but she just closed her eyes so she couldn't see his and she turned her head away from him.
She wanted to cry- but she didn't want them to break her... They would find her this time... she could get away... she had done it before... but how she didn't remember. Then he spoke again, "shhhh... don't fight it. You know how pointless it is... it's impossible to forget." When his words ended she heard a low droning sound.... and all at once all the memories she had locked away flooded her mind, but in a cruel joke... the sound went away and so did everything that it brought... she paniced her mind overridden by the fear that the noise produced... what would it make her do she had to leave she had to get away... she couldn't stay. She would have fought for a very long time- but the man seem pleased and Indigo mimcked her movements and was trying to learn them... she didn't know why- and it *infuriated* her- she growled and snarled ferally at the other her- and tried with all of her might to get at it... she wanted to kill her, to watch the blood pooling from her head as she smashed it against the wall... over and over again....And the masked man smiled again, "you were always so... spunky. Fight it out... I can wait."
Somewhere in the back of her mind she understood, and she stopped moving stoped fighting... because they could wait.... but how long could she hold out. She looked to the man and gave a resigned whimper. He looked into her eyes, his cold dead eyes chilling her... for all that hers reflected the abyss... his... reflected nothing... he licked his lips before continuing, "you ran from us... we cared for you and you ran away. Why?" She almost wanted to cry because she knew she was going to tell him even before her mouth began to form sounds, "No more cages.... no more needles... want to be free...."
The masked man looked up at the ceiling and back down "to make the perfect blade, you must work out all the slag. Your time away has let all of our work slip... I think it's time to re-establish all our hard work." She shook her head... no... no... she didn't want to be a weapon... she wanted to be human- to be her... she must have been speaking out loud again because he answered her, "I see deep inside... all the hate you hold in... all the fear and pain, wasted. We can make you better." He lounged back in his chair. Had she spoken? Was he in her head? Indigo watched him for a moment her eyes still maintaining the whereabouts of herself... and her double spoke... in her voice... or was it her... "I can be better... let me be better, please?" She shook her head again, screaming out her protest, no... she didn't want these people to make her better... she didn't want them to hurt her anymore... but the man looked at the other her and spoke, "Can you? That would please me." Then he turned to her and spoke, "I can't send you back if you don't cooperate... but I can send her back, if you don't... the choice is yours."
The frail girl went a ghostly pale... they would send a facedancer in her place.... what would it do to her family, to her loved ones? Would anyone be able to tell it wan't her and she broke... her heart was heavy, but she knew that she would hurt so that they wouldn't have to; broken and scared she answered, "I... can be better.... please..." Her double turned her head and looking at the Indigo pinned to the table she spoke again, "I want to know what his flesh tastes like... ... Va... na... shi." Indigo panicked...; they knew about Star... they knew her language... she turned now glassy eyes towards the doctor. He spoke to her, "Don't you want to know it, too? Haven't you wondered... haven't you itched for it, like we made you to?"
She cried... her heart breaking all over again, she denied everything... it was an accident... she hadn't ment to hurt him, she didn't know why she did... she never ment to, she wouldn't hurt him on purpose... she didnt want to kill him... to taste him.... she cried... and her double knew her thoughs and made a very catlike purring of pleasure with the pain of Indigo's memory, she emplored the man out of fear of herself... double... to the masked man, "I'll be better.... " He leaned in close to her and spoke, his voice sending shivers all around her, "are you sure? You've slipped... are you sure you have it in you?" He paused for a moment and then shook his head continuing, "I don't think you do..."
Indigo sobbed and nodded the only thought in her mind was making him happy so they let her go instead of her... and the man looked at her with such concern, resting his hand on her head, pushing her dreads out of the way of her face almost comfortingly, "One chance. Fight us... and we will have to keep you... and send her out in your place." Indigo took a breath and sobbing nodded to him. He nodded solomenly back to her and stood from his chair turning to her double he spoke, "Come with me Indigo." And her double left quietly behind him.
The broken girl sobbed, unknowing how long... but drifted off to sleep; dreaming of a better day- She was hunting with star... and the day progressed as she remembered it with the same outcome, her mind blanking for just long enough for her to feel the weight of an injured Star on her axe blade... and she sobbed; her mind warping around her only true impulse was to kill... to destory she was just a weapon- made to kill... and then a stranger thought invaded her head, "Was that me... or was that someone who looked like me? Am I Indigo... or is she me? Am I a double?" Her mind raced her thoughts becoming more erratic as she sunk down to the blood covered ground; she thought to herself, "who better to be a clone... than someone who hates clones? If *I* were to choose... that is who I would choose... that is how I would make it real..." She sobbs curled into the small comatose ball that she was becoming...
She looked at herself curled on the floor... still watching from the exam table... the dream shifting... the man asking her questions... he wanted to know everything that she has been doing since her escape... how they could best help her get back into the program... and she told them the things she could remember about the scelesti, about escaping, and about her legacy. She told them about going to meet others in far off places and she listened to herself drone on and on... trying to make him happy. She looked to him for approval; and after a while she got the familiar nod and he spoke, "That is good enough for now."
She woke up on her cot and curled into a ball clawing deep into her arms for comfort trying to find a focus.... She perked curiously... she heard something in the back of her mind... something she was sure they couldn't fake... the storm... so violent... the dark... she sensed it all around her- the ana was all around her. She clung to the abyss scanning and listening for the lone feelings of others of the abyss something that could hear her plea... and that night she wraped the cold of the abyss around her as a blanket as it cooed her to sleep.... She knew what they didn't... and the abyss was a comfort....
The masked man leaned over her and whispered to her, she wanted to turn her head away and not listen to him... to make him not exist anymore.... she swears she saw his mask smiling at her as he looked into her dark birdlike eyes... "we have *so* much to talk about... and so little time. She's asked that you only be kept for a brief examination, unfortunately..." His words made her want to scream... but she just closed her eyes so she couldn't see his and she turned her head away from him.
She wanted to cry- but she didn't want them to break her... They would find her this time... she could get away... she had done it before... but how she didn't remember. Then he spoke again, "shhhh... don't fight it. You know how pointless it is... it's impossible to forget." When his words ended she heard a low droning sound.... and all at once all the memories she had locked away flooded her mind, but in a cruel joke... the sound went away and so did everything that it brought... she paniced her mind overridden by the fear that the noise produced... what would it make her do she had to leave she had to get away... she couldn't stay. She would have fought for a very long time- but the man seem pleased and Indigo mimcked her movements and was trying to learn them... she didn't know why- and it *infuriated* her- she growled and snarled ferally at the other her- and tried with all of her might to get at it... she wanted to kill her, to watch the blood pooling from her head as she smashed it against the wall... over and over again....And the masked man smiled again, "you were always so... spunky. Fight it out... I can wait."
Somewhere in the back of her mind she understood, and she stopped moving stoped fighting... because they could wait.... but how long could she hold out. She looked to the man and gave a resigned whimper. He looked into her eyes, his cold dead eyes chilling her... for all that hers reflected the abyss... his... reflected nothing... he licked his lips before continuing, "you ran from us... we cared for you and you ran away. Why?" She almost wanted to cry because she knew she was going to tell him even before her mouth began to form sounds, "No more cages.... no more needles... want to be free...."
The masked man looked up at the ceiling and back down "to make the perfect blade, you must work out all the slag. Your time away has let all of our work slip... I think it's time to re-establish all our hard work." She shook her head... no... no... she didn't want to be a weapon... she wanted to be human- to be her... she must have been speaking out loud again because he answered her, "I see deep inside... all the hate you hold in... all the fear and pain, wasted. We can make you better." He lounged back in his chair. Had she spoken? Was he in her head? Indigo watched him for a moment her eyes still maintaining the whereabouts of herself... and her double spoke... in her voice... or was it her... "I can be better... let me be better, please?" She shook her head again, screaming out her protest, no... she didn't want these people to make her better... she didn't want them to hurt her anymore... but the man looked at the other her and spoke, "Can you? That would please me." Then he turned to her and spoke, "I can't send you back if you don't cooperate... but I can send her back, if you don't... the choice is yours."
The frail girl went a ghostly pale... they would send a facedancer in her place.... what would it do to her family, to her loved ones? Would anyone be able to tell it wan't her and she broke... her heart was heavy, but she knew that she would hurt so that they wouldn't have to; broken and scared she answered, "I... can be better.... please..." Her double turned her head and looking at the Indigo pinned to the table she spoke again, "I want to know what his flesh tastes like... ... Va... na... shi." Indigo panicked...; they knew about Star... they knew her language... she turned now glassy eyes towards the doctor. He spoke to her, "Don't you want to know it, too? Haven't you wondered... haven't you itched for it, like we made you to?"
She cried... her heart breaking all over again, she denied everything... it was an accident... she hadn't ment to hurt him, she didn't know why she did... she never ment to, she wouldn't hurt him on purpose... she didnt want to kill him... to taste him.... she cried... and her double knew her thoughs and made a very catlike purring of pleasure with the pain of Indigo's memory, she emplored the man out of fear of herself... double... to the masked man, "I'll be better.... " He leaned in close to her and spoke, his voice sending shivers all around her, "are you sure? You've slipped... are you sure you have it in you?" He paused for a moment and then shook his head continuing, "I don't think you do..."
Indigo sobbed and nodded the only thought in her mind was making him happy so they let her go instead of her... and the man looked at her with such concern, resting his hand on her head, pushing her dreads out of the way of her face almost comfortingly, "One chance. Fight us... and we will have to keep you... and send her out in your place." Indigo took a breath and sobbing nodded to him. He nodded solomenly back to her and stood from his chair turning to her double he spoke, "Come with me Indigo." And her double left quietly behind him.
The broken girl sobbed, unknowing how long... but drifted off to sleep; dreaming of a better day- She was hunting with star... and the day progressed as she remembered it with the same outcome, her mind blanking for just long enough for her to feel the weight of an injured Star on her axe blade... and she sobbed; her mind warping around her only true impulse was to kill... to destory she was just a weapon- made to kill... and then a stranger thought invaded her head, "Was that me... or was that someone who looked like me? Am I Indigo... or is she me? Am I a double?" Her mind raced her thoughts becoming more erratic as she sunk down to the blood covered ground; she thought to herself, "who better to be a clone... than someone who hates clones? If *I* were to choose... that is who I would choose... that is how I would make it real..." She sobbs curled into the small comatose ball that she was becoming...
She looked at herself curled on the floor... still watching from the exam table... the dream shifting... the man asking her questions... he wanted to know everything that she has been doing since her escape... how they could best help her get back into the program... and she told them the things she could remember about the scelesti, about escaping, and about her legacy. She told them about going to meet others in far off places and she listened to herself drone on and on... trying to make him happy. She looked to him for approval; and after a while she got the familiar nod and he spoke, "That is good enough for now."
She woke up on her cot and curled into a ball clawing deep into her arms for comfort trying to find a focus.... She perked curiously... she heard something in the back of her mind... something she was sure they couldn't fake... the storm... so violent... the dark... she sensed it all around her- the ana was all around her. She clung to the abyss scanning and listening for the lone feelings of others of the abyss something that could hear her plea... and that night she wraped the cold of the abyss around her as a blanket as it cooed her to sleep.... She knew what they didn't... and the abyss was a comfort....