(no subject)
I'm anticipating no one reading this, and I hope that that's the case.
My life is generally good.
So much has changed that I'm not sure how to begin...
The man in the most recent photo (2012) is going to be my husband. I'm going to get married. I'm going to be a wife.
He's kind, and loving, and supportive.
I'm overwhelmed by the huge number of things I want to say.
I moved from NYC back to PHL, had an awesome job that turned sour, lost that job and am now working in a place where I feel welcomed and appreciated. Like I said, life is good.
I don't think I'm happy. It's not caused by anything or anyone. I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about death. About killing myself. Not in a "I'm going to do it" way, but it's been on my mind. I don't know why. There's no instigation. There's nothing. But I'm thinking about it.
I needed to put that thought somewhere so it will be real and I can deal with it.
I should be happy, and most of the time I am happy, but then I have these inexplicable thoughts and I don't know how I feel or why.
My life is generally good.
So much has changed that I'm not sure how to begin...
The man in the most recent photo (2012) is going to be my husband. I'm going to get married. I'm going to be a wife.
He's kind, and loving, and supportive.
I'm overwhelmed by the huge number of things I want to say.
I moved from NYC back to PHL, had an awesome job that turned sour, lost that job and am now working in a place where I feel welcomed and appreciated. Like I said, life is good.
I don't think I'm happy. It's not caused by anything or anyone. I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about death. About killing myself. Not in a "I'm going to do it" way, but it's been on my mind. I don't know why. There's no instigation. There's nothing. But I'm thinking about it.
I needed to put that thought somewhere so it will be real and I can deal with it.
I should be happy, and most of the time I am happy, but then I have these inexplicable thoughts and I don't know how I feel or why.