I don't get it. I've been lifting weights and running two miles a day for months now, and I'm seeing ZERO progress. Don't believe me? Take a look for yourself:
Gaze upon my concave chest!
Guffaw at my puny, muscle-free arms!
Am I being unrealistic? It's not like I'm asking for arms like Daniel Craig and quads like Brooke Hogan (Have you SEEN Brooke Hogan lately? She's basically just Hulk Hogan with D cups now). It'd just be nice to have a physique that doesn't resemble the "Before" picture in those old Charles Atlas ads.
So what are my options at this point? Steroids? Gamma radiation? A top secret Super Soldier Serum?