(no subject)
Hey *waves* I know I'm updating! Insane...isn't it? Mainly cuz some of the weirdest stuff has been going on, and I'm trying to sort it all out in my head. Okay, while on the way to go out with my friend Mark, I got a phone call from Tyler (obviously I didn't see it, being me) get a message, ever so rare from him, and call him back a couple days later. Turns out he wanted to get some information from me about my relationship or more specifially break-up with Travis. He is now one of three people on the planet who know even half the story. (I didn't think it would be very kind to tell people the reasons I broke up with him, beyond the superficial just not very classy at all. The relationship was between me and him as was the break up) Anyways, I gave him some basic details and discovered that it wasn't just me...Travis really is err...a bit odd with girlfriends. Not to mention as ungentlemanly to her on their departure as he was to me. My first thought: vindication! I later felt bad for it, there really can be no right or wrong in a relationship, just perspectives. Though sadly enough I've been informed by one of our mutual friends that both he and Tyler think I'm crazy *wrinkles forehead* I think I'm supposed to be offended by that. It's hard to be hurt when you know the gentlemen in question though, no offense meant to either one. Sorry if that sounded negative, I actually did regret calling Tyler back, but in the end I just have to hope that in some way it helped him and the other girl out more than it hurt having to tell him that.
But on to other important stuff, Nykki and I are still roommates, quite happily now that we've gotten away from the psycho dramas that seem to plague most college students. Her latest boyfriend (very sweet guy, named Craig) spends a lot of time over here, loves the animals. Nykki and I found that most of our difficulties came from things that we easily resolved; I got a spine and she made sure to listen. Not very complicated, but something that many can't manage to do. We've also taken to taking a day out a week to just go catch a bite to eat and talk things over. We're re-decorating the apartment *yea* and training our pets. They're so great together now. *happy smile*
Sarah no longer lives here, as she is moving to Washington DC most likely. I was originally going to move out, but am glad now that I didn't. Anyways, I quit the Elephant Bar, due to injury and transporation costs, also because I'm having some surgery done. I'm happier and healthier than I ever have been before. Eating well and exercising...about to join Bikram yoga, the yoga that you do in 105 degree heat. My aunt had me try a lesson (I thought she was insane) and it leaves you feeling so good. The heats seems to purge you of all the bad elements in your body and definitely speeds up your metabolism. Oooh, here's a shocker, I've been eating vegetables! Yup, that's me...can you believe it? Probably not and probably getting some snide comment about now. But hey *shrugs* if you can't be excited about a better quality of life what can you be happy about?
Err...let's see, I should probably update you all since I haven't been on here in forever. Basic synopsis, I visit baby cousin, go to school, study english *I love writing* still a bit of psychology, though after my contact with so many people I found to be less than appealing I've found my interest in human behavior dwindling. It's just too depressing. So many people out there are so blind and self-centered or sometimes just cruel because they think it's amusing or makes themselves look better in some way. And I'm no exception, to my great sorrow I found myself angry at someone for their behavior when they didn't know any better. I have since made amends but still regret my actions. I discovered I don't want to be like that. Yes, I will have my snits and angry moods, but I'd rather not think of the negative aspects anymore. There's enough of it in the world without me adding to it's cause. Sadly this means I've chosen to sever contact with many people who by their very nature are destructive and chaotic or in some cases deliberately choose to insult those that are close to me. Some of this change is recent, most is not, as you can tell. It started probably in November or December, which is when I stopped talking in this journal. I've also cut myself off from relationships, not friendship wise but romantically. Despite some very tempting offers, I am not willing or able to commit that much time and emotional energy to another person at this time. Too busy trying to find out what I can do, and who I want to be. Lol, I'm sounding very selfish here, but it's mainly because I've found that I'm too willing to rush into a relationship. That I may find someone appealing, but that doesn't mean that I should pursue something when I know it most likely won't work. Basically what I'm trying to say is that since the one guy I've actually really dare-I-say-it loved, I've managed to get into three different relationships (basically through my college years so far) and yet I've not cared enough to put out the effort necessary to make a commitment. I know all that yada about first love being the most intense, and you'll never forget them etc. etc. I understand that, and I am over him, but I don't think it's right to settle for less. If I'm forever looking back at my first love then I don't have time to look at the present, see what good there is. And I don't think that I'll find that again at this age, part of it was born of naivete, part of it was that he really was a fabulous guy. I know that there is someone out there who can make me feel that again, just have to wait and know myself before I can ever learn to get to know him.
Okay, I'm done ranting...I promise I won't turn into a bible thumper now, just thought that no harm ever came about by sharing. And for the record, this isn't a messageboard, it's a place to tell about what you've learned, what you know and who you are. (Of course censored to some degree as you know it's somewhat public). Don't feel obliged to reply, this isn't for you necessarily, it's more for me. After all...a woman needs somewhere to get her thoughts out.
But on to other important stuff, Nykki and I are still roommates, quite happily now that we've gotten away from the psycho dramas that seem to plague most college students. Her latest boyfriend (very sweet guy, named Craig) spends a lot of time over here, loves the animals. Nykki and I found that most of our difficulties came from things that we easily resolved; I got a spine and she made sure to listen. Not very complicated, but something that many can't manage to do. We've also taken to taking a day out a week to just go catch a bite to eat and talk things over. We're re-decorating the apartment *yea* and training our pets. They're so great together now. *happy smile*
Sarah no longer lives here, as she is moving to Washington DC most likely. I was originally going to move out, but am glad now that I didn't. Anyways, I quit the Elephant Bar, due to injury and transporation costs, also because I'm having some surgery done. I'm happier and healthier than I ever have been before. Eating well and exercising...about to join Bikram yoga, the yoga that you do in 105 degree heat. My aunt had me try a lesson (I thought she was insane) and it leaves you feeling so good. The heats seems to purge you of all the bad elements in your body and definitely speeds up your metabolism. Oooh, here's a shocker, I've been eating vegetables! Yup, that's me...can you believe it? Probably not and probably getting some snide comment about now. But hey *shrugs* if you can't be excited about a better quality of life what can you be happy about?
Err...let's see, I should probably update you all since I haven't been on here in forever. Basic synopsis, I visit baby cousin, go to school, study english *I love writing* still a bit of psychology, though after my contact with so many people I found to be less than appealing I've found my interest in human behavior dwindling. It's just too depressing. So many people out there are so blind and self-centered or sometimes just cruel because they think it's amusing or makes themselves look better in some way. And I'm no exception, to my great sorrow I found myself angry at someone for their behavior when they didn't know any better. I have since made amends but still regret my actions. I discovered I don't want to be like that. Yes, I will have my snits and angry moods, but I'd rather not think of the negative aspects anymore. There's enough of it in the world without me adding to it's cause. Sadly this means I've chosen to sever contact with many people who by their very nature are destructive and chaotic or in some cases deliberately choose to insult those that are close to me. Some of this change is recent, most is not, as you can tell. It started probably in November or December, which is when I stopped talking in this journal. I've also cut myself off from relationships, not friendship wise but romantically. Despite some very tempting offers, I am not willing or able to commit that much time and emotional energy to another person at this time. Too busy trying to find out what I can do, and who I want to be. Lol, I'm sounding very selfish here, but it's mainly because I've found that I'm too willing to rush into a relationship. That I may find someone appealing, but that doesn't mean that I should pursue something when I know it most likely won't work. Basically what I'm trying to say is that since the one guy I've actually really dare-I-say-it loved, I've managed to get into three different relationships (basically through my college years so far) and yet I've not cared enough to put out the effort necessary to make a commitment. I know all that yada about first love being the most intense, and you'll never forget them etc. etc. I understand that, and I am over him, but I don't think it's right to settle for less. If I'm forever looking back at my first love then I don't have time to look at the present, see what good there is. And I don't think that I'll find that again at this age, part of it was born of naivete, part of it was that he really was a fabulous guy. I know that there is someone out there who can make me feel that again, just have to wait and know myself before I can ever learn to get to know him.
Okay, I'm done ranting...I promise I won't turn into a bible thumper now, just thought that no harm ever came about by sharing. And for the record, this isn't a messageboard, it's a place to tell about what you've learned, what you know and who you are. (Of course censored to some degree as you know it's somewhat public). Don't feel obliged to reply, this isn't for you necessarily, it's more for me. After all...a woman needs somewhere to get her thoughts out.