mmm movies
stranger than fiction is a good movie - although i hate seeing myself in these sad loser movies. also punch drunk love and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
a little less distracted this evening, but earlier i was bouncing around trying to decide what to do next.
do you ever have that feeling where you have to choose between 2 things and you can't decide? it's like your stuck in the middle trying to weigh the options and there doesn't seem to be a clear winner so you just impulsively pick one. i feel like that a lot, especially on the weekends. like i'm in some kind of limbo ----------ahhh what should i do?? umm no what do i WANT to do??? uhh.. i don't know i don't know ummmm maybe i'll just play ps2 or take a nap - which are really the same thing since my apnea will make me sleepy after playing ps2 for 20 minutes.
people ask me what i want. i don't know. i think about what i used to want - plenty of money from being in a successful band, and the freedom that would bring - not having to have a "real" job and of course lots of nice stuff.... the music room - a total audiophile's heaven. tons and tons of records and guitars and books and art
now,
i don't know if i want anything. it's terrible but a lot of the time i just wanna be alone. i guess so i can do whatever i want - which starts off as "i'm gonna write some songs or draw or play on the computer or whatever" but always ends up with that feeling of "ok i'm bored with this, now what do i do?"
and here is the boring part. i stopped to think for a minute, i start getting sleepy and suddenly i don't wanna type anymore. right now i don't even what to finish this. i'm trying to wrap this up so i can do something else- eventhough i don't know what yet.
later
a little less distracted this evening, but earlier i was bouncing around trying to decide what to do next.
do you ever have that feeling where you have to choose between 2 things and you can't decide? it's like your stuck in the middle trying to weigh the options and there doesn't seem to be a clear winner so you just impulsively pick one. i feel like that a lot, especially on the weekends. like i'm in some kind of limbo ----------ahhh what should i do?? umm no what do i WANT to do??? uhh.. i don't know i don't know ummmm maybe i'll just play ps2 or take a nap - which are really the same thing since my apnea will make me sleepy after playing ps2 for 20 minutes.
people ask me what i want. i don't know. i think about what i used to want - plenty of money from being in a successful band, and the freedom that would bring - not having to have a "real" job and of course lots of nice stuff.... the music room - a total audiophile's heaven. tons and tons of records and guitars and books and art
now,
i don't know if i want anything. it's terrible but a lot of the time i just wanna be alone. i guess so i can do whatever i want - which starts off as "i'm gonna write some songs or draw or play on the computer or whatever" but always ends up with that feeling of "ok i'm bored with this, now what do i do?"
and here is the boring part. i stopped to think for a minute, i start getting sleepy and suddenly i don't wanna type anymore. right now i don't even what to finish this. i'm trying to wrap this up so i can do something else- eventhough i don't know what yet.
later